Arsefield's Hall of Shame

[Mowl]

Told you it wouldn't take him too long to blow it.



Val's his own worst enemy, trying to enthuse some culchies about a posh wedding he went to last week and now can't shut up about. He's telling the other culchies about the car he hired at the airport. Where it was made (China) and what colour it was and what the registration was. He said if Dublin was Rome, then he went to Drogheda. In a Chinese car. To gulp down some Italian food (thinks it was spaghetti but was actually gnocchi). He took the A86, a national road, not a motorway.

'Very, very good roads, you'd have to see the quality'.

Waited until he arrived at his B&B to change out of his farm pants and (hopefully) took a shower before donning the rental tuxedo.

The narrative continues with: 'took a little train, a little one, six miles further, further, further on. Fierce craic. So that's the story folks. Loads of cars, lorries, and what have you, there. I saw one hybrid car. One, just. Really good outfits too. They were all dressed. Now. So that's it, folks. We'll see you back for something else, now. Pigs. Wild pigs - two of them. I saw them down the valley. Two. Just. I saw them. Briefly, now. Lots of oats. Barley, now. Lots. On the hills with the combine harvesters.'



His 'fans' aren't too happy with him going off script like this and praising a foreign country for its roads.

Only a true and natural born culchie could turn a conversation about an Italian wedding into one about tarmacadam, wild boars, oats, barley, miles per gallon in a Chinese hybrid rental, and how 'would you believe it that a few drops of water DID fall on the windscreen on the Sunday as we drove back? See. That's it - now. See you back, I'll seeya back for somethin...'

A national treasure.

 

[Electricity]

Absolutely - for the last few years he's been spoofing about these millions won and millions lost.

Nope, a million (not millions) is the figure I said. I never lie

The poor fool hasn't an arse in his pants nor a pot to piss in.



In order to achieve things, one must set goals: Jambo's appear to be being a lapdog to three angry white males in jumpers and slacks.

His awareness of this is zero, mind you.

 

[Electricity]

Told you it wouldn't take him too long to blow it.



Val's his own worst enemy, trying to enthuse some culchies about a posh wedding he went to last week and now can't shut up about. He's telling the other culchies about the car he hired at the airport. Where it was made (China) and what colour it was and what the registration was. He said if Dublin was Rome, then he went to Drogheda. In a Chinese car. To gulp down some Italian food (thinks it was spaghetti but was actually gnocchi). He took the A86, a national road, not a motorway.

'Very, very good roads, you'd have to see the quality'.

Waited until he arrived at his B&B to change out of his farm pants and (hopefully) took a shower before donning the rental tuxedo.

The narrative continues with: 'took a little train, a little one, six miles further, further, further on. Fierce craic. So that's the story folks. Loads of cars, lorries, and what have you, there. I saw one hybrid car. One, just. Really good outfits too. They were all dressed. Now. So that's it, folks. We'll see you back for something else, now. Pigs. Wild pigs - two of them. I saw them down the valley. Two. Just. I saw them. Briefly, now. Lots of oats. Barley, now. Lots. On the hills with the combine harvesters.'



His 'fans' aren't too happy with him going off script like this and praising a foreign country for its roads.

Only a true and natural born culchie could turn a conversation about an Italian wedding into one about tarmacadam, wild boars, oats, barley, miles per gallon in a Chinese hybrid rental, and how 'would you believe it that a few drops of water DID fall on the windscreen on the Sunday as we drove back? See. That's it - now. See you back, I'll seeya back for somethin...'

A national treasure.

Is Val pushing a 'human interest story' too much?

 

[Mowl]

Nope, a million (not millions) is the figure I said. I never lie

So you won exactly one million euros on a card game: no more and no less.

Legendary shit.

Is Val pushing a 'human interest story' too much?

Nah, Val's a needy type - he needs his daily attention and has taken things so far by now that he thinks all the culchies who listen to his interminable bullshit on his youtube channel are actually his 'friends'. He thinks they want to know about his personal life as well as the windmills and shoving his entire arm up a cow's arse. It's not so much a 'human interest' thing as it is pulp culture. Cult of personality. This desperate need to be taken seriously while acting the clown with balloons as tits and half a bale of wet straw as a wig. Isn't it odd though? Both Declan and Val - two old men, and they both like to act as women? Online.

Val's videos and RTE's news content certainly do belie a nation under siege.

Get out while you still can, there's still time.

 

[Electricity]

So you won exactly one million euros on a card game: no more and no less.

By "card game" I take it you mean poker and not one card game (game of cards)

No, of course the figure is not exactly a million. It's between one and two million. For me to say millions, it would have to be at least two million. Do you understand, Mowl?

Legendary shit.



Nah, Val's a needy type - he needs his daily attention and has taken things so far by now that he thinks all the culchies who listen to his interminable bullshit on his youtube channel are actually his 'friends'. He thinks they want to know about his personal life as well as the windmills and shoving his entire arm up a cow's arse. It's not so much a 'human interest' thing as it is pulp culture. Cult of personality. This desperate need to be taken seriously while acting the clown with balloons as tits and half a bale of wet straw as a wig. Isn't it odd though? Both Declan and Val - two old men, and they both like to act as women? Online.

Val's videos and RTE's news content certainly do belie a nation under siege.

Get out while you still can, there's still time.

 

[Mowl]

By "card game" I take it you mean poker and not one card game (game of cards)

Call it what you - it's all a silly spoof that not even Roundy would try to pass off.

You no more won a million euros as you did two millions euros.

You won three matchsticks, one blue button, and a pair of jokers.

No, of course the figure is not exactly a million.

That's what you said, no?

It's between one and two million.

Of course it is, Jimmy.

Here, tell you what: stop the spoofing now and we'll let it go - keep it up and I'll continue to lampoon your childish lies.

For me to say millions, it would have to be at least two million.

Wow.

You're on the Dutch Gold ALREADY?

Do you understand, Mowl?

I understand that you're a terrible liar.

I understand you never won a million of anything.

I understand your frustration with life in Ireland.

I understand that you'll never be any different.

I understand that you're a loser in life's grand lottery.

Do you understand Finnish?

Mene vittuun itseäsi.

 

[Electricity]

Call it what you - it's all a silly spoof that not even Roundy would try to pass off.

lol I'm not spoofing

You no more won a million euros as you did two millions euros.

Okay, take this simple formula for profit:

Profit = Winnings - Losses

Do you see the part that we're talking about (I've highlighted it in bold as a visual aid)?

You won three matchsticks, one blue button, and a pair of jokers.

That's not how online cardrooms (or indeed credit cards) work the Mowl

That's what you said, no?

No, I didn't say that I won exactly one million

Of course it is, Jimmy.

Here, tell you what: stop the spoofing now and we'll let it go - keep it up and I'll continue to lampoon your childish lies.



Wow.

You're on the Dutch Gold ALREADY?


I understand that you're a terrible liar.

I understand you never won a million of anything.

I understand your frustration with life in Ireland.

I understand that you'll never be any different.

I understand that you're a loser in life's grand lottery.

Do you understand Finnish?

Mene vittuun itseäsi.

 

[roc_abilly]

So if I'm understanding correctly, how is that much different to Dan, who bullshitted online about his version of "poker" for a couple of years, saw the silver price rising, decided to "borrow" a few grand from his wife and buy in around $20 - sees it go in the next 6 months or so up to almost $50, then starts shouting about his great winnings, how smart he is, and how it's going to keep on going up to $150 and all the rest of it. Of course a year later it's back to $30, over the next year or two or three after that back under the original $20. He still holds on though, shouting about $150, and how he made all that money, of course he never cashed out at $50, it was just an entry temporarily in his "poker" account - and all those years wasted before and after the $50 peak and nothing changed for him, and yet still he holds out for that $150 dream fifteen years later. Living in hope, even starting up web forums to bring together other morons hoping that the world will collapse, which will be the upturn of all their own fortunes, apparently.

 

[Electricity]

So if I'm understanding correctly, how is that much different to Dan, who bullshitted

I know it causes you great consternation (I know my bunny boilers well) but I'm not bullshitting

By the way, when r u going to associate it (poker) with 'white supremacy', you fucken sap

online about his version of "poker" for a couple of years, saw the silver price rising, decided to "borrow" a few grand from his wife and buy in around $20 - sees it go in the next 6 months or so up to almost $50, then starts shouting about his great winnings, how smart he is, and how it's going to keep on going up to $150 and all the rest of it. Of course a year later it's back to $30, over the next year or two or three after that back under the original $20. He still holds on though, shouting about $150, and how he made all that money, of course he never cashed out at $50, it was just an entry temporarily in his "poker" account - and all those years wasted before and after the $50 peak and nothing changed for him, and yet still he holds out for that $150 dream fifteen years later. Living in hope, even starting up web forums to bring together other morons hoping that the world will collapse, which will be the upturn of all their own fortunes, apparently.

 

[Mowl]

No, I didn't say that I won exactly one million.

Nope, a million is the figure I said.

Yeah.

No, I didn't say that I won exactly one million

Nope, a million (not millions) is the figure I said. I never lie

So this million you never won - is it being spent entirely on your alcoholism or did you buy anything of interest with it?

The millions and millions you're telling us all about? Were you under the impression that everything you say is believed?

Jaze, all this time and we've been hosting a real-life millionaire of our own, just like Arsefield's?

So if I'm understanding correctly, how is that much different to Dan, who bullshitted online about his version of "poker" for a couple of years, saw the silver price rising, decided to "borrow" a few grand from his wife and buy in around $20 - sees it go in the next 6 months or so up to almost $50, then starts shouting about his great winnings, how smart he is, and how it's going to keep on going up to $150 and all the rest of it. Of course a year later it's back to $30, over the next year or two or three after that back under the original $20.

Jambo's lies are just plain silly, something to have a chuckle about.

Dan's lies are something else altogether: he has the shower of savages wrapped around his little pudgy fingers. They bow down and genuflect before him, some even referring to him as Sir. Jambo's spoofs are much funnier, mostly because you can set your clock by how drunk he is at any given time of the day in the way he structures his comments. He's been rousted though: nobody wants anything to do with him due to his rabbit-holing and glamping - all of which I told them years ago not to fall into. Engaging with Jimmy D is not fun, not enlightening, and not a good use of your time.

Like this fucking twat:



Sorry for your troubles, Free & Clean Dave- I entirely understand your anger and disappointment with the paltry existence life has awarded you. If I had to wake up to a muntering fucking obscenity like this slapper of yours then I too would be enraged: looks like a cement truck smashed into her fat face. Deliberately. Of course, you're not much better what with those rat-like features of yours. Those slanty eyes, the cheap haircut and the football jersey. You two really do deserve each other. I can only begin to imagine what your kids are going to look like, what with the younger Feeney's manky acne, boils on his chin and nose, abscesses on his scrawny neck, and your hand-me-down t-shirts and shoes.

If there was a competition for Ireland's ugliest couple - you guys are a shoo-in.

...

Image deleted: by The Mowl.

Nobody on earth should have to look at that munter unless as a punishment.

He still holds on though, shouting about $150, and how he made all that money, of course he never cashed out at $50, it was just an entry temporarily in his "poker" account - and all those years wasted before and after the $50 peak and nothing changed for him, and yet still he holds out for that $150 dream fifteen years later.

One of his minions had it out with him after he had taken a small tip from some old aged pensioner he was tour guiding and then pocketed it without telling the bloke who was driving the bus. He's a sneaky little rat in that way: he'd rather have a fifty note in his pocket than actually make a real friend. So given these simple facts you have o ask yourself how he managed to get Marianne to marry him when he hadn't an arse in his pants or a place to live.

He actually believes the compliments his minions spoof him with.

Living in hope, even starting up web forums to bring together other morons hoping that the world will collapse, which will be the upturn of all their own fortunes, apparently.

Yeah - if they all get rich quick then they can all open their own private forums and talk to themselves, whose lies they believe as gospel carved into stone.

RoundyBurger.com
SaulSadBastard.ie
MylesSpoons@gmail.com
DeclanKellyHorse&Cart.fr
Free&Clean@HotSoapyTitsWank.ga
MunteringFuckingHell@Feeney.arse

I know it causes you great consternation (I know my bunny boilers well) but I'm not bullshitting

Yeah.

Really.

Sure thing.

Etc.

By the way, when r u going to associate it (poker) with 'white supremacy', you fucken sap

When you divvy up a quarter of your millions and offer it to the Dublin homeless society.

You're crumbling, Shay - falling apart at the seams.

We're all mortified for you, Hun.

 

[Electricity]

Poor Mowl still doesn't know what 'millions' means

I used the figure a million (not millions) which would have been accompanied with words such as "over a"

Seriously, is there anyone dumber than Mowl

 

[Mowl]

Spoofer rides again - this time on a donkey.

 

[Electricity]

Of course, the only thing I'm guilty of is quite deliberately releasing this info in two packets. First I say that I won a million (or over a).. let that brew a bit.. then I say that I lost a million (all true)

And during the brewing time, my bunny boilers' heads will explode (to this day), I know them well

 

[Mowl]

No, I didn't say that I won exactly one million

Nobody cares what you said - nobody believes you either.

The only millions you know about are the grains of sand out by the beach.

Ringsend, is it? Nearby the sewage treatment plant?

The two disused old towers, the smell of shite, and the salty black oil-covered water that sticks to you when you try to have a swim without swallowing human faeces and bits of manky seaweed. The North Bull's another fetid little spot on the Dublin coast. Sure a millionaire like you could live anywhere, right? So ask Declan if he'll put you up next time you go to Boston. He's a hard man, our Roundy.

Of course, the only thing I'm guilty of is quite deliberately releasing this info in t

I'm guilty of mangling your posts.

wo packets. First I sa

Where do you store this one million euros you won playing tiddlywinks?

y that I won a milli

Liam Gallagher has had a terrible influence on you.

No wonder your parents have you chained up in the basement.

That's if he actually IS your Da.

on (or over a).. let that brew a bit.. then I say that I lost a million

You need to first have a million to be in a position to lose it.

(all true)

And durin

Tell you what's true: life in the world's happiest country is awesome - it's over thirty degrees now and the beach is getting crowded with babes.

I'm so very happy.

How about you - Mister Millions?

g the brewing time, my bu

Have you even one friend in the real world, Jimmy?

nny boilers' heads will exp

No?

lode (to this day), I kno

Ahh, sure fuck it nannyways.

w them w

It's not worth the effort really.

e

Think I'll shake up a Bellini - this happiness lark really takes it out of you, y'know?

l

Yeah.

 

[Electricity]

Nobody cares what you said - nobody believes you either.

The only millions you know about are the grains of sand out by the beach.

Ringsend, is it? Nearby the sewage treatment plant?

The two disused old towers, the smell of shite, and the salty black oil-covered water that sticks to you when you try to have a swim without swallowing human faeces and bits of manky seaweed. The North Bull's another fetid little spot on the Dublin coast. Sure a millionaire like you could live anywhere, right? So ask Declan if he'll put you up next time you go to Boston. He's a hard man, our Roundy.





I'm guilty of mangling your posts.



Where do you store this one million euros you won playing tiddlywinks?



Liam Gallagher has had a terrible influence on you.

No wonder your parents have you chained up in the basement.

That's if he actually IS your Da.

You need to first have a million to be in a position to lose it.

Mowl, even roc_abilly has an inkling of what I'm talking about

I think that you should stop embarrassing yourself

Tell you what's true: life in the world's happiest country is awesome - it's over thirty degrees now and the beach is getting crowded with babes.

I'm so very happy.

How about you - Mister Millions?



Have you even one friend in the real world, Jimmy?



No?



Ahh, sure fuck it nannyways.



It's not worth the effort really.



Think I'll shake up a Bellini - this happiness lark really takes it out of you, y'know?



Yeah.

 

[Mowl]

Mowl, even roc_abilly has an inkling of what I'm talking about

Perhaps he does, perhaps he doesn't.

Are you seriously trying some sort of quasi-'let's be friends' divide and conquer with Rory O'Connor - of Sandyford - the male model with two children of his own and a degree in engineering, blah, blah, blah?

I think that you should stop emb

Man, it's fucking hot - I need a drink.

How about you, Jimmy?

Fancy cracking open a few tins of Dutch courage?

arra

Arrah yerself, matey.

ssing yo

Yo yourself!

urself

Yeah.

 

[roc_abilly]

Jambo, you're missing the point as always. You might as well have got in on let's say a crypto like XRP in 2021 for 50 cents. Staked 20K. Then watch your stake turn to 100,000 a few weeks later. But today you would still have less than your original 20K. Sure you "won" thousands. And you lost thousands. What does that mean? That you're a very clever boy? That you spent your time well? No, it means you're a waste of space and a fucking idiot, well unless you knew when to cash in your luck by knowing something about the game you were in.

 

[Electricity]

Of course, the only thing I'm guilty of is quite deliberately releasing this info in two packets. First I say that I won a million (or over a).. let that brew a bit.. then I say that I lost a million (all true)

And during the brewing time, my bunny boilers' heads will explode (to this day), I know them well

I'll give another example (illustration) of this eh, technique..

So one time I post something with Roger Penrose (world-renowned mathematician Mowl wouldn't know who he is), I think it was something about the collapse of the wave function and the role of human or conscious observation, and I said, regarding it -

Roger Penrose agrees with me

Very deliberately phrased that way and sure enough, roc_abilly's head exploded

If I had phrased it -

I agree with Roger Penrose

It wouldn't have had the same effect, even though both statements are logically equivalent and true

Do you see what I'm doing?

 

[Electricity]

Jambo, you're missing the point as always.

The "point" isn't what you want it to be, as always, roc

You might as well have got in on let's say a crypto like XRP in 2021 for 50 cents. Staked 20K. Then watch your stake turn to 100,000 a few weeks later. But today you would still have less than your original 20K. Sure you "won" thousands. And you lost thousands. What does that mean? That you're a very clever boy? That you spent your time well? No, it means you're a waste of space and a fucking idiot, well unless you knew when to cash in your luck by knowing something about the game you were in.

 

[Electricity]

Jambo, you're missing the point as always. You might as well have got in on let's say a crypto like XRP in 2021 for 50 cents. Staked 20K. Then watch your stake turn to 100,000 a few weeks later. But today you would still have less than your original 20K.

Sure you "won" thousands. And you lost thousands.

Nope, over a million. You guys wouldn't be so upset if it was just thousands

What does that mean?

What does your question mean?

That you're a very clever boy?

I don't think it, I know it. And so do many others, they've told me (and each other)

That you spent your time well? No, it means you're a waste of space and a fucking idiot, well unless you knew when to cash in your luck by knowing something about the game you were in.

Or cash out?

You're just showing your cluelessness here

Take that $200 buy-in short-handed sit 'n go (one table tournament) I mentioned.. If your mammy or daddy gave you the $220 ($200+10% rake) to play it and by some miracle (considering that you don't know how to play poker) about 45 minutes later you win it, you now have about a grand, would you cash in? Maybe treat yourself to a weekend away, a 'staycation' (by yourself) with your winnings?

No, it means nothing (or very little) if you're playing poker frequently. The game goes on..