Perhaps you could spend a little of your infinite available time to ask Swords why he boots your
A Team pal Myles off the site for mentioning
the male model and electrical engineer Rory O'Connor of 298 Spangle Avenue Sandyford Co Dublin and let's YOU say what you like about your Gowl? By the time Myles is sober enough to read a post maybe he ought to file a complaint?
The A Team, jeeeez.. ...composed of one hopeless drunk, one (now-dead and in the ground) failure of a culchie father/husband racist bastard, and Jambo: a loser of such epic human proportions it makes me want to laugh out loud while crying at the hopelessness which Ireland's in store for as soon as his meds start to kick in.
As for getting it up?
Jambo: you live in Ireland, and you dislike black people, Asian people, in fact anyone with a slightly differently toned skin that convinces you that they're lesser humans, and that you therefore would most certainly
NOT commune with any of them. Which pretty much leaves your available options limited to
Irish slags. Now, there are all sorts of fucks, but fucking a fat slob Irish bitch on a regular basis? Nah, you know as well as I do it'd be better to just have a quick wank and then a clean-up so your can clear your mind of sexual frustration at the fat nasty Irish hoors in their mini-mini skirts and tree-trunk thighs while trying to navigate the cobbled streets of Temple Bar in a pair of nine-inch heels and sucking from a bottle of some trendy blue-coloured plonk from Belgium.
Irish slags, Jimmy.
They're your only current option - so if you really DO find yourself in need of a shag - that's what you get.
Me?
I live in a candy shop full of Finnish beauties more than willing to spend time with me.
No strings, no problems, no hang-ups and no money exchanged.
You might think that it's cheaper to hire a hooker to come to your house, and you'd be right there for once in your miserable existence. Taking an Irish slag out entails:
Waiting in a taxi at her door with the meter running while she trowels on the slap, tries to find something/anything that her arse doesn't look like an elephant in, a bag with seven bottles of blue alcoholic drinks by WKD so she can start getting langered in the taxi before getting to the pub, at which point she's lashing back the pints and flirting with everyone while you stand there picking up the tab. Irish mutants. Like Feeney's Missus: she's like a walking Picasso, sharp angles and pointy bits all over the place.
That's more or less what's available to you, Jimmy - and I know it hurts.
Tell you what: come up to Helsinki (it's February and there's no snow at all, plus I'm sweating in a bathrobe with all the windows open) so you know it's all good.
I can show you how it's done.