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Ah, dear auld Ireland - the country I left behind.

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It's amazing how much I really don't fucking miss the auld dump. D'you know what? If I'd known earlier that I could be this happy, I'd have dumped Ireland yonks ago rather than two years ago. I threw my last Irish passport into the bin at the embassy when my Finnish one arrived. The auld snot who works on the desk can't stand me, so I did it to annoy her. Two weeks later they sent it back to me in the post, the top corner clipped to render it invalid.

She had to reach into her own bin to retrieve my unwanted Irish passport because I fucked it at her.

No wonder I'm so fucking happy.

How are the lads down by the canals doing, Wilfy?

Still camping out like real men?

Jaze, but that photo of Joyce is rather disturbing, eh.

Must suck being replaced by a scabby Moldovan or Roma beggar - but it's probably the most efficient thing to do, all things considered.

Ireland 0 - 3 Finland

So I win, again.

As per.

Eh.
 
I find it hard to give even the slightest shit about LA/Hollywood burning down.

In fact, I find it hard to have any sympathy at all about America and Americans these days: the crazier and more fucked up it gets, the sooner it'll all fall apart.
 
The sheer hilarity of Ireland and Irish people:

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That'll soon stop all the dead drivers being announced every Monday morning.
 
One thing I've always noticed from US television is that Americans love their stereotypes about Europe:

▪︎Irish people = always drunk, always fighting, red hair

▪︎Italians = mobsters

▪︎Germans = Nazis

▪︎French people = rude, always wearing a beret and striped shirt
 
True, but then again we do the same. We see them as:

Fat, ignorant, uneducated, loud, crass, tasteless, inbred, slack-jawed, lazy, greedy, and entirely ill-informed.

And we'd be right too.
 
When the Danes tell Trump to fuck off concerning his designs on Greenland we'll probably see more negative depictions of Denmark in the US media.

Though I doubt 90% of Americans even know what Denmark is.
 
David said:
When the Danes tell Trump to fuck off concerning his designs on Greenland we'll probably see more negative depictions of Denmark in the US media.

Though I doubt 90% of Americans even know what Denmark is.
Click to expand...

I doubt many Americans know where Greenland is either.

They still think the Netherlands is from a fairy tale.

In fact, most Americans I know don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, just ask Randy, America's greatest living satirist:

 
www.thejournal.ie

Principals raise concerns over student use of addictive 'snus' nicotine pouches in schools

Social Democrats TD Jennifer Whitmore said that the new government must tackle the ‘growing threat to young people’.
www.thejournal.ie www.thejournal.ie

Vile fucking habit. Finland outlawed these products a few years back, but they're still available for purchase (if you know the sales assistant) for people trying to quit cigarettes: the doctor gives you a note which you hand in at the check-out and they record the sale and return the receipt to your doctor to show it's been purchased, then you get your money back, apparently.

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The Nordic version they banned is a slightly different form of snus: it's fucking disgusting, but here goes.

You plunge a plastic syringe (no needle) into the tub of snus, suck up a big blob of the shit, then use the syringe to deposit it up into the gums above your canines and in between the gum and upper lip. You suck on it and it gives you a quick hit of nicotine that apparently lasts for a while. Some packets include finely ground glass in the snus mix: this is to lacerate the skin and make the hit come even faster and apparently much stronger too. Men mostly, but I've seen women using it too, which is a 101% turn-off to the power of pi.

Regular users tend to have these horrible brown stains running through their teeth and the smell is horrid too.

Worse again is the way they simply use their tongue to dislodge the snus and then they spit it out. The versions they're selling in Ireland appear to be the 'teabag' variety where the snus is in a little packet/pouch. After it's given you the hit, you have to dump the packet, and that's where the spitting out part happens. Utterly fucking vile, rotten, disgusting habit. Don't try it. For the love of bejayzus don't fucking try it.

When I quit smoking cigarettes, I sometimes used cannabis leaf, the left-overs from flowering plants that have been harvested for sale. It doesn't get you high, but it does take the edge off wanting a nicotine hit if you're addicted to tobacco. You can also buy hemp leaf in the head/herb shops: perfectly legal hemp, non-crushed or crushed, you choose what amount and how fat/thin your fag is. It's a great option of you're serious about quitting tobacco.

But snus?

Fuck no - I'd rather smoke and inhale a fat Cuban cigar - which would likely kill me in seconds flat.

Horrible shit in every possible way.
 
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Whoa, this one actually looks like it's going to be pretty serious. Massive increases in wind speeds off the south-west coast, minute by minute too. This one might well be a lesson in how shitty Ireland's house construction game really is. The west coast is fucked, Galway's already taking a few slaps. In a few hours from now Spanish Arch might well be found in Spain instead of Galway. All those caravan parks along the coast all around the island are going to take a hammering.

You guys really aren't set up or prepared for what's coming.

This'll be gas craic by tomorrow midday.

Sleep well, Paddy and Bridie - huddle up for extra safety

And use your socks to tie your feet to the bedstead: it might be your last hope.

Heh.
 
So, did it live it up to all the hype?

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Or is the biggest damage being done that the Temple Bar isn't bursting at the seams? The live-cam was showing me a window cleaner washing down the glass around the front door. Two barmen standing there watching him. Nobody on the streets, lots of rain to wash away all the piss and puke from the gutters. The wind speeds are reducing from what I was seeing seven hours ago, and the storm's shifting off the north-west coast. My sister in Donegal must have taken the hit because we haven't heard from her since last night. But then again, like I was for years, she's a Vodaphone customer, That pretty much means if the country breaks wind, their masts fall and the entire network collapses.

How many roofs torn off?
How many houses leveled?
How many dead?

Three quarters of a million homes without power. How many businesses both local and international? It's not just about the damage the storm does, it's about all the business lost over a twenty-four hour shut-down while the rest of the world carries on as normal. The reason three quarters of a million Paddy and Bridie gaff's are without power isn't about the storm - it's about those cheap-assed wooden poles from the 1940's that you're still using to broadcast TV and broadband signals. The water grid's even older than in many places.

It's times like these you get to see the mask slip: all that malarkey about Ireland being a world player? Stop already. It's a ramshackle knocked-up timber shed of a country trying to face down merciless winds and rains coming in off the Atlantic. By now the reveal has to be very angering? All that tax they take in. They still can't guarantee an electrical and water system that works?

Here - how many data centres have taken a hit?

Think about that?

Where's all the homeless Irish and the international gangs of young men fleeing war-torn Spain and Italy?

Did they manage to find somewhere safe and dry for the Irish ones and if so - when are due to be booted back out onto the streets again?

This is a very good time to question EVERYTHING about your shit-hole cheap-assed little country.

it's not like you have anywhere to go, now is it?

Still: gas to see The Temple Bar still wrapped up for Christmas.

Filthy gouging scummy Irish wallet-grabbers.
 
WEATHER NEWS SHOCKER!!!

One tree down in upper Ballyfermot. It's located just west of The Lawns public park and toward the far end of Ballyfermot before Cherry Orchard. No risk of flooding on Ballyer really, as it's several meters above sea level. It's a long walk up on Chapelizod Hill Road from the waterline of the Liffey passing through the village. Though going down the California Hills in a plastic black sack when it's wet out is deadly fun.

A mass service will be offered up for the fallen tree, which many locals knew and loved. It was a good tree, never got into any trouble, loved playing the aul GAA, did a bit of hurling too and was a regular mass-goer at the Church of Our Lady of the Assumption, on the roundabout on Ballyfermot and Kylemore roads. The local chippers and Indian takeaways are remaining closed until 2000 tonight Friday 24th January as a mark of respect to the tree who apparently loved their onion rings and batter burgers. On Monday, after the service, the tree will be ceremoniously chainsawed and the logs distributed to the needy of the area. It's what the tree would've wanted.

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Poor Mrs Feeney, all those ships into Galway Port cancelled due to the storm.

Looks like it's a beans on toast dinner for Dave and Mandy tonight.
 
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