Nordic News

[Mowl]

Day six of this heatwave and the cooler air coming in off the cold sea mingling with warmer air inland is causing a huge energy build-up with a massive thunder and lightning storm about to begin. I have the top floor and barbecue deck booked for the evening with friends coming from up the country. Thankfully, the deck is half covered and half exposed. The rumbling of clouds is loud and the tension very high.

Currently sitting at 26 Celsius but likely to get even warmer as the evening rolls in.

Both thunder and lightning with some northern lights at the same time is likely: clouds to the south and clear skies looking north.

Deadly.

 

[Electricity]

"Happiest country in the world"

Arminius News

Sweden: Three Syrian immigrants charged with the torture, robbery and home invasion of a Swede. They kicked the victim in the head, punched him, kicked his testicles, set his hair and beard on fire. They then drilled his leg and poured salt on the wound before taking thousands worth of...

t.me

 

[Mowl]

That's Sweden, you dopey fucking cunt.

Sweden - like Ireland, has NEVER been selected as a happy place to live.

I visit often - but would I consider living there?

Fuck no.

 

[Electricity]

That's Sweden, you dopey fucking cunt.

Oh right, yeah. I forget sometimes

Sweden - like Ireland, has NEVER been selected as a happy place to live.

I visit often - but would I consider living there?

Fuck no.

What does Sweden have that the (other) Frozen Wasteland doesn't?

 

[Mowl]

Oh right, yeah. I forget sometimes

Yeah.

Try to keep your first tin of Dutch Gold until after the main evening news, eh.

What does Sweden have that the (other) Frozen Wasteland doesn't?

Who cares?

I have everything I could possibly need and more - why should I give a flying fuck about Sweden?

You're too fucking stupid for words, Jambo.

 

[Mowl]

It's plus twenty-seven degrees out there, and just as hot in the shade.

Everyone's burning, time for some peaches..

 

[Mowl]

Holy moley: it's twenty-nine degrees in the shade up here in the world's happiest nation.

Babes all over the place in tiny summer dresses, and summer's not officially even here yet.

How's it where you are, Jimmy?

Damp?

 

[Electricity]

Holy moley: it's twenty-nine degrees below zero in one of the world's most frozen wastelands.

Babes all over the place in tiny summer dresses catching hypothermia.

How's it where you are, Jimmy?

Damp?

Dry, mild

 

[Mowl]

Dry, mild

Babes or fat slags?

 

[Electricity]

 

[Mowl]

I see some twenty-three year old Irish girl was savaged to death by some fairly mean dogs.

The guilty dog was put down pretty much on the spot.

Swift justice for animals.

 

[Mowl]

The new cross-town tram line is due to open shortly between Pasila and Kalasatama. As part of the design, every bus and tram stop and shelter will have a greenery box up on top to boost pollination and give the bees some extra options. It's a great idea, I think.





We also have a new fleet of ultra-modern trams which will be utilized on the new line, they're currently being used to train in new staff.

The very old trams are tough to maintain, but we still have a few dozen of them, all in good working order.

The Beer Tram is doing a roaring trade this year with the early heatwaves bringing more people out to party.



I've tried imagining a beer tram in Dublin, how about you?

Can you imagine how Paddy and Bridie would react?

 

[Mowl]

Two views of the Sibelius monument in Helsinki:



As seen from twenty meters away.

And here, from beneath:



I have hours and hours of old 8mm films I shot during a variety of seasons I spent here in the 1990s. I rode the trams around the city and kept my camera ready for every passing sight which I'd film and then later edit and transfer to regular VHS video with some nice over-dubbed music for my Mam to listen to while she watched her son laugh at the minus forty weather while playing the tubes of the monument with a pair of drumsticks from underneath, trying to recreate the Finnish national anthem.

I shot some footage of the retired ladies and gents who attend a very old public sauna on a small island just offshore at Kaivopuisto during the depths of winter. There's a wooden bridge across to the island but I didn't use it. Instead I walked out onto the frozen bay and shot the shoreline and architecture from half a kilometer out to sea. When I made my way back to land, I passed the island with the sauna and the ice-hole cut into rock-solid ice floes with a ladder attached which is used by the oldies: they take sauna first, then walk out of the steam and along the bridge and then take the ladder down into the ice-hole and do a few laps.

I shot the film for her to see because she has arthritis, just like the oldies on film. Her reaction to watching them take the ladder down into the minus forty degree water was a gas. She watched wide-eyed as they walked along the bridge, all bent over and wrinkly and slow. Then they hop into the hole, do a few quick laps (an ice hole is usually around four/five sq meters) and climb back out again on the ladder and take their towel to make their way back to the sauna. Except now they weren't all bent over and gnarly. They were light on their feet, full of laughter, and helping each other along the way. From 95 degrees plus in the sauna to minus forty in the water, the shift is quite something. But the results speak for themselves.



There's a reason why Finland's the world's happiest country.

 

[Electricity]

Mowl'stappen, I have a question for you about the FW:

If a Finnish person said to you that you're not Finnish.. Would you be offended? Would you report that person to the police for hate speech?

 

[Mowl]

Mowl'stappen, I have a question for you about the FW:

The FW?

Quit your flerfing and explain yourself.

If a Finnish person said to you that you're not Finnish..

Yes, that's happened many times.

And?

Would you be offended?

Fuck no - I'm a guest in this country, but I'm also highly respected in my community because of the help and assistance my neighbours know they can rely on. A few days back, I went to Anja's apartment (she's around her mid-eighties) to replace her kitchen bulbs and hang a fresh shower curtain for her. Took me five minutes, but she made some coffee and we ended up talking for hours. She's really curious about Ireland and always wanted to visit.

I advised her that this wasn't a very good idea at the moment, as Ireland (and Dublin in particular) has very few Irish people out and about while the immigrants have taken over parts of Dublin city centre. I told her she could be mugged, robbed, beaten up, ripped off, set alight, gouged out, possibly even cannibalized by the savages in and around Moore St and the main thoroughfare.

That young Irish men of fighting age (like yourself) are letting this happen: they won't lift a finger to put a stop to the current mess in the capital city so nobody is really safe when there's around 14,000 Irish homeless people along with several tens of thousands more refugees and immigrants in general unable to fend for themselves without a roof over their heads. Strange foreign men Ireland knows nothing about.

In fact, Anja was shocked at everything I said, and when she a expressed a doubt I simply showed her on her computer some images of the Dublin riots and pages full of shots like this one:



...and these ones:







See?

Would you report that person to the police for hate speech?

Are you being serious, Jimmy?

Fuck no, they'd laugh me out the door.

Finns speak very directly, they don't stand on ceremony and if you try to bullshit them they'll call you on it pronto. It's very refreshing to be around people as honest as these, hence my happiness occasionally overwhelming me. But it's a cute complaint to have - being maybe a tad too happy for Paddy and Biddy to relate to.

I'm not Finnish, never said I was - but Finnish resident?

Yeps - for life, there's no way I'd even consider returning to your crappy shit-fest of a broke-backed country, not even for all the money in the Irish national debt.

Where did Ireland come in the last OECD nominations for happiest country/best quality of life stakes?

Paddy last, is it.

 

[Electricity]

The FW?

Quit your flerfing and explain yourself.

The Frozen Wasteland

You must be freezing out there on your two by four "balcony" (I hope you're wearing your thermals)

Yes, that's happened many times.

And?

Yeah, so, why do you always break up sentences that you're replying to (you're about to give the And anyway)..

Fuck no

- I'm a guest in this country, but I'm also highly respected in my community because of the help and assistance my neighbours know they can rely on. A few days back, I went to Anja's apartment (she's around her mid-eighties) to replace her kitchen bulbs and hang a fresh shower curtain for her. Took me five minutes, but she made some coffee and we ended up talking for hours. She's really curious about Ireland and always wanted to visit.

I advised her that this wasn't a very good idea at the moment, as Ireland (and Dublin in particular) has very few Irish people out and about while the immigrants have taken over parts of Dublin city centre. I told her she could be mugged, robbed, beaten up, ripped off, set alight, gouged out, possibly even cannibalized by the savages in and around Moore St and the main thoroughfare.

That young Irish men of fighting age (like yourself) are letting this happen: they won't life a finger to put a stop (or even a gauge) to the current mess in the capital city so nobody is really safe when there's around 14,000 Irish homeless people along with several tens of thousands more refugees and immigrants in general unable to fend for themselves without a roof over their heads.

In fact, Anja was shocked at everything I said, and when she a expressed a doubt I simply showed her on her computer some images of the Dublin riots and pages full of shots like this one:



...and these ones:







See?



Are you being serious, Jimmy?

Fuck no, they'd laugh me out the door.

Finns speak very directly, they don't stand on ceremony and if you try to bullshit them they'll call you on it pronto. It's very refreshing to be around people as honest as these, hence my happiness occasionally overwhelming me. But it's a cute complaint to have - being maybe a tad too happy for Paddy and Biddy to relate to.

I'm not Finnish, never said I was - but Finnish resident?

Yeps - for life, there's no way I'd even consider returning to your crappy shit-fest of a broke-backed country, not even for all the money in the Irish national debt.

Where did Ireland come in the last OECD nominations for happiest country/best quality of life stakes?

Paddy last, is it.

 

[Mowl]

The Frozen Wasteland

Aha! Yes, the bane of all your nightmares: 'that fucker Mowl has it all going on - I'm agonna git him.....'

You must be freezing out there on your two by four "balcony" (I hope you're wearing your thermals)

Twenty-three and blue skies, a very mild breeze and lots of birds in the air.

The smell of the salt water gets stronger every day as the sediments in the estuary are cleared by the melted snows of the previous winter.

Yeah, so, why do you always

It's not always, Jimmy - only on special occasions and Finnish flag days.

break up sentences that you're repl

Look - do you hear me moaning about your flerf/leftist/larp bullshit?

ying to (you're ab

I have precisely zero to learn from you about the English language or how to use it.

out to give the A

Team?

It's A team, right?

nd anywa

Ah, you're all sleepy and drunk.

How sweet is that.

y)..

Never on Sundays.

Never.

 

[Electricity]

Aha! Yes, the bane of all your nightmares: 'that fucker Mowl has it all going on - I'm agonna git him.....'

Twenty-three

Below zero?

Haha, yeah I forgot

You're now in - The Thaw. The brief period that follows the Dirty Slush season

and blue skies, a very mild breeze and lots of birds in the air.

The smell of the salt water gets stronger every day as the sediments in the estuary are cleared by the melted snows of the previous winter.



It's not always, Jimmy - only on special occasions and Finnish flag days.



Look - do you hear me moaning about your flerf/leftist/larp bullshit?



I have precisely zero to learn from you about the English language or how to use it.



Team?

It's A team, right?



Ah, you're all sleepy and drunk.

How sweet is that.



Never on Sundays.

Never.

 

[Mowl]

Below zero?

Haha, yeah I forgot

You're now in - The Thaw. The brief period that follows the Dirty Slush season

Your green-eyed and rabid jealousy of my life and location are duly noted.

But I'll tell you what: in the spirit of decency, I can recommend a fairly cheap hostel over in Alppila that does a private room for around €35 per night with a free coffee in the morning. It has access via tram and bus stops outside, is one floor above Alepa - the cheap supermarket, and withing the city tram system. From your front door, the city is yours via the tram systems.

The beer tram uses any and every line to go to where the sunshine is, where the waves are, where whatever you want to see or do can be found.

You might find ordering a beer a bit awkward, considering Finland recognizes a pint glass - but not a full pint - 75dl - leaving a gap up top of your beer glass. They sell half and three quarter liter glasses and they're numbered according to alcohol content: a number three is fairly weak, number two has more flavour to it, and a number is the strongest and most expensive variation.

There are loads of food options - including McDonald's and Taco Bell.

But so stew or coddle - you'll have to swing by my gaff if you want real Irish style nosh.

Bring a whole slab if you like - everyone else does.

 

[David]

Is Finland as sports-obsessed as countries such as Ireland, England and America? In Ireland if you're not into GAA, soccer and rugby you're seen as some kind of social pariah. Same thing if you quit drinking and don't go to the pub.

One thing I like about the Japanese is that they don't treat sports as if it were some religion...or the be-all and end-all of one's existence. You can be a grown man and enjoy video games etc. In most Western countries you're seen as some kind of pussy if you don't follow xyz sports club with an almost religious fanaticism.