Nordic News

[Mowl]

Made in Finland. The world’s largest cruise ship, Royal Caribbean International’s 'Icon of the Seas' departed the Meyer Turku shipyard on June 19th, for the first time. The 250,800 gross ton cruise ship is expected to stay at sea for up to a week on its first sea trials.



Built in Turku, the former capital of Finland, this vessel shows you why the Finns are so happy in their work. I've visited this dock where the ship was built a few years back when they were still creating the hull, not a cabin or steering wheel built as yet. In Helsinki we have another ship-building dock at the eastern port. Many ships have been built there over the years and I know some of the crews who fitted the cabins. The sea and the water in general is very dear to the heart of Finnish culture and lifestyle. Our little wooden cabins built on the many thousands of lakes in Finland are presently bustling with Finns who leave the city as soon as summer begins to stay out in the wilds near the water where they can swim and fish for supper. It's a wonderful lifestyle.

But Finns are also very slow to boast or brag - it's considered the height of rudeness to yap on about your money or successes, which is why I'm telling you about this behemoth of a ship. One that dwarfs the Titanic several times over. Finnish workmanship: some of the world's finest.

 

[Mowl]

Another shot of the ship passing the archipelago down south of Turku:

 

[Mowl]

Photo of the square outside my apartment just an hour ago when the weatherman suggested we might have some cloud over Helsinki this Juhannus. He was right too. Eh.

 

[David]

Finland has such pristine wilderness and beautiful modern architecture. I'd say building codes are fairly strict up there as well, aka. gombeen developers can't just throw up anything for a few bucks like they do in Ireland's corrupt, brown envelope ridden system under FFG.

I remember reading something a while back about Finland developing an underground network of water streams under cities in order to pipe cool air up into buildings during the summer months. An impressive, and actual useful feat of engineering. Back home a new "motorway" was just opened in Mayo, a county with an overall population smaller than that of Blanchardstown. That's Parish Pump Politics in action for you. No doubt farmers were rewarded with "a few million" for the acre or two of grazing land they were made to hand over....all so people could knock 10 minutes off of their journeys from Ballina to Castlebar. In Ireland it's all about farmers and developers - the darlings of FFG. Meanwhile the average Irish taxpayer gets screwed as always by having to fund such useless examples of infrastructure.

 

[Mowl]

In wintertime, the waste water above a few degrees from all blocks is leveled off and instead piped back into pipes beneath the footpaths of the main streets to melt the snow in the depths of winter. It's not unusual to be able to walk down one side of the street on bone dry concrete while the other half is knee deep in snow.

Nothing is wasted up here, that's why we have five different trash bins in our garbage hall and our waste water put to its best use before being treated and sent back out through the cleansing system. There's NO flouride in our water - that's just you sad bastards letting the state nanny you. Get the fuck off your arses and do something about Ireland, you lazy cunts.

There's a reason why I'm so happy - in the happiest country in the world.

And you'll never know why.

Hurts, doesn't it?

 

[Lumpy Von Talbot]

I could never live in Ireland again.

 

[Mowl]

I could never live in Ireland again.

There's probably a few outstanding warrants with my name on too.

Never take the Irish state seriously; she'll only ever break your heart.

 

[David]

You'd have to wonder if the Russo-Finnish border is one of the most heavily militarised in the whole of Europe? I'd say there are a lot of contingency plans in place too. One call from Helsinki government central to detonate a bridge and the army has it done and dusted within the space of minutes. Still, sharing such a long border with the world's no.2 military has to be nerve-racking to some extent..

If NATO ever did get involved in a war involving a potential Russian invasion of Finland then I'd imagine much, if not most of the fighting would initially take place on the high seas, aka. the US Navy would chose to engage with Russia's fleet before considering a land-based invasion in order to establish a beachhead. I'd certainly hate to think Helsinki's beautiful architecture would be a casualty of say heavy naval bombardment.

 

[Mowl]

You'd have to wonder if the Russo-Finnish border is one of the most heavily militarised in the whole of Europe?

Most of the 1300km border doesn't even have a fence. Nearby fences along the eastern border are there to stop the moose and deer spilling out onto the national roads, but they're nothing to do with national security. I stayed in a family home in Simpele many times, and the room I had overlooked the rusty fencing at the far end of the garden. I reached in and picked some flowers for the dinner table, and wondered about Finnish/Russian history and the tensions that still exist, even if a lot of the line that separates us is unmanned, un-fenced, and is nothing like the Berlin Wall for example.

I'd say there are a lot of contingency plans in place too. One call from Helsinki government central to detonate a bridge and the army has it done and dusted within the space of minutes. Still, sharing such a long border with the world's no.2 military has to be nerve-racking to some extent..

It's not really something we worry about, even residents of the eastern front appear fairly relaxed about things.

But today and going forward? The NATO issue will cause some activities along the line, but Finland won't do anything without first stating our intent beforehand - anything less would be classed as antagonizing an already sore spot.

But in general, Finnish people don't focus on it.

If NATO ever did get involved in a war involving a potential Russian invasion of Finland then I'd imagine much, if not most of the fighting would initially take place on the high seas, aka. the US Navy would chose to engage with Russia's fleet before considering a land-based invasion in order to establish a beachhead. I'd certainly hate to think Helsinki's beautiful architecture would be a casualty of say heavy naval bombardment.

Well, the Finns are extremely wily: take Uspenski Cathedral? I managed the presidential suite of the bomb shelter built beneath the church which stands on a high rock that's the first thing people see when sailing into the western port. The Finns decided to explode down into the bedrock beneath the cathedral because they figured out rather obviously that the Russians would never bomb their own church, so the presidential shelter was created for maximum security for the elders of the nation.

There's a lot of Russian style architecture all across Helsinki, but not only did the Finns build the shelter beneath the rock, they also commissioned Alvar Aalto to design a civic building which stands right in front of the cathedral as you sail into the eastern port. The Finns are wily, not confrontational - not unless you get right up into their faces, at which point the rule book is flung away and they'll fight until they drop. Finnish sisu - it's not a myth - it's a necessary lifestyle. And if you don't have the grit to endure over the long haul, then you won't last up here for very long.

So any invasion already has contingencies: the Finns can muster tens of thousands of trained soldiers in a few hours as every cadet and soldier have their kit boxes under their bed or else in the shed. You can't throw it away, it's numbered, serialized, it contains everything a soldier needs including a full round bullets, which aren't stored in a soldier's kit box, but rather elsewhere for securities sake. Nobody wants their kid playing with live ammunition.

Today it's 25 in the city and the skies are blue.

It's hard to imagine anything upsetting the current tranquility, but as I told the Shitstick and her idiot boyfriend Jambo: it'll be a matter of weeks or months before Ireland starts in on the NATO issue. The oair of them swore blind for weeks on end that impending doom was just around the corner. As usual, they were wrong, hysterical, bitching, and foaming at the mouth because they don't understand Finland well enough to come to any conclusions about us, they simply hate the Mowl. That's why they want an invasion. To know that I'm dead. And exactly like I said it would be, Ireland's having to be dragged by the nose-ring into the NATO debate. It'll go on and on, but eventually Ireland will apply - it's what she always does: wait for someone else to do it and then study their moves so they can augmented into the mix later on, even though the decisions were already made in private.

Then made public - after the fact.

That's Ireland in a nutshell.

She'll never learn to stand on her own two feet and treat her family with respect.

She's not a democracy.

She's a business.

 

[David]

Life in America from a Finnish woman's perspective.

The Nordic Theory of Everything - Anu Partanen

The Nordic Theory of Everything In Search of a Better Life by Anu Partanen “A passionate and intelligent argument.” —Publisher’s Weekly “Highly readable and entertaining.” —Library Journal “A wonderful, hopeful book.” —Robert Reich “A game-changer.” —The Seattle Times “Partanen rips up the...

www.anupartanen.com

 

[Mowl]

Wouldn't be surprised to read that she's just been found dead in her basement in the next few months.

Nobody wants to follow the Nordic route to creating a happy and healthy country for their citizens. They want the people to be permanently stressed out so that their heads are constantly spinning and can't focus on much else than the next cheeseburger and fries. Stress is normal in any country and its administration of services, but in some countries it's designed and set up to ensure you never get a moment's peace from worry and fear about the near future.

Living paycheck to paycheck while working for some faceless other is a lifestyle choice many choose. Those who don't follow that model have to forge a path of their own. Like Anu Partenen here as a writer - or me as an extra-curricular teacher and therapist. And writer. Some societies make it very difficult for the self-employed while others, like Finland, encourage it and offer safeguards to help you through the initial stages and any other bleak periods that might arrive. I was self-employed in Ireland. It was a fucking horror show dealing with the tax offices and insurance companies - everyone with a sharpened spoon in hand gouging out the pound of flesh. So when I found another country which actually cared about her people, I took my chances.

Haven't looked back since, at least not for any other reason than to poke at Ireland - from a safe distance.

 

[odanny]

Life in America from a Finnish woman's perspective.

The Nordic Theory of Everything - Anu Partanen

The Nordic Theory of Everything In Search of a Better Life by Anu Partanen “A passionate and intelligent argument.” —Publisher’s Weekly “Highly readable and entertaining.” —Library Journal “A wonderful, hopeful book.” —Robert Reich “A game-changer.” —The Seattle Times “Partanen rips up the...

www.anupartanen.com

That looks like an interesting book, I'm tempted to purchase it. Living in Finland and being outside in the winter months is good for ones body and overall health, cold exposure has show medical benefits in study after study, and of course you have Wim Hof to remind us all of that, but the attitude towards cold weather in Finland compared to the U.S. is likely only similar in a few states, the upper N.E. of Maine and Vermont, probably, and Midwestern states like Wisconsin and Minnesota, and I'm guessing that the enthusiasm wanes year over year in the U.S. as we have all become lazier and more dependent on modern day convenience.

 

[David]

Wisconsin, Minnesota and other states within the Great Lakes region seem to have high concentrations of people with Scandinavian/ Nordic ancestry. The Norwegian American population across the board is nearly equivalent to that of Norway itself going by the wiki article. The US Midwest without a doubt has the largest diaspora of Scandinavians outside of the ancestral homelands.

How Scandinavians Transformed The Midwest, And The Midwest Transformed Them Too

For many Upper Midwesterners in the 21st century, not much could seem more familiar than the marks of Scandinavian influence on regional culture. But there was a time in North American history when Norwegians, Swedes and Danes were considered peculiar outsiders.

wiscontext.org

I've known a penpal from Stockholm for over two years now. Yet she could just as easily pass as the girl next door within a small Wisconsin farming community.

 

[Mowl]

That looks like an interesting book, I'm tempted to purchase it. Living in Finland and being outside in the winter months is good for ones body and overall health, cold exposure has show medical benefits in study after study, and of course you have Wim Hof to remind us all of that, but the attitude towards cold weather in Finland compared to the U.S. is likely only similar in a few states, the upper N.E. of Maine and Vermont, probably, and Midwestern states like Wisconsin and Minnesota, and I'm guessing that the enthusiasm wanes year over year in the U.S. as we have all become lazier and more dependent on modern day convenience.

The Arctic weather requires a certain state of mind. One we hone and prepare for throughout the short spring and summer months. We get out and about as much as possible and the state provides endless festivals and concerts in every town across the country. Another common sight is to see the parents having coffee while their infant sleeps outside in the pram: wrapped up and cozy in swaddling while breathing temperatures far below zero. The fresh air helps them grow healthy lungs that can endure the extremes of weather we live with up here.

If you aren't a winter person, strike Finland off your list: we have seven months of it every passing year.

Personally I love it, I look forward to it and I prepare myself, changing out a summer wardrobe to a winter one and keeping the summer clothes in storage. Sneakers and shoes make way for big boots, heavy (fake) fur coat, lots of big hats and gloves, scarves, the works. The weather may change but society simply continues as normal: the only changes we see are the endless snow ploughs clearing the roads and the block janitors clearing the pavements and gritting them a few times each week, depending on the severity of snowfall.

Also, laziness is not an option up here: take a relaxed attitude to the low temperatures and see how you get on.

Some bodies take days to thaw out naturally.

Wisconsin, Minnesota and other states within the Great Lakes region seem to have high concentrations of people with Scandinavian/ Nordic ancestry. The Norwegian American population across the board is nearly equivalent to that of Norway itself going by the wiki article. The US Midwest without a doubt has the largest diaspora of Scandinavians outside of the ancestral homelands.

How Scandinavians Transformed The Midwest, And The Midwest Transformed Them Too

For many Upper Midwesterners in the 21st century, not much could seem more familiar than the marks of Scandinavian influence on regional culture. But there was a time in North American history when Norwegians, Swedes and Danes were considered peculiar outsiders.

wiscontext.org

I've known a penpal from Stockholm for over two years now. Yet she could just as easily pass as the girl next door within a small Wisconsin farming community.

The Finns are extremely well educated, and have little time for small talk. Gossiping and nattering about another person causes an immediate tangent of thinking from your recipient. Same applies to oneself: talk about your achievements and money, possessions and wealth and you'll find yourself alone fairly lively.

Modesty is king up here: a stoic but determined attitude about your life choices, career, etc.

Finns aren't great at taking a compliment either, so very many of the 'lines' tourists use are lost on these people.

Stockholm Sweden: the one Scandinavian city I would NEVER consider living in.

I don't understand the Swedes, they've dug themselves quite a hole to climb out of.

They had it all, then got so used to it they decided everyone can have some, and look at them now?

 

[Mowl]

Last afternoon, 11th July, Joe Biden arrived into Helsinki airport aboard Air Force One to begin talks at the invitation of Finnish President Sauli Niinistö at the presidential palace. Massive security operation currently in effect, all traffic in the city centre along with public transport will see a stripped back service and the population have been asked to be aware of delays in a variety of situations. Tram services are reduced to Sunday schedules, and the scooters and e-bikes are banned from the city centre until Friday evening.

It's actually all just business as usual in my neighbourhood, and I'm only a couple of kms from the palace. Last night I got to thinking about using my fob to enter the side door into my old bomb shelter (which hosts the presidential suite, the very studio I managed for thirteen years) and take a nosey around to see what there is to see. The presidential bomb shelter suite is attached directly under the sea to the palace itself, with about one hundred meters of walkway with walls lined with concrete about sixty meters below ground leading directly under Uspenski Cathedral.

Wily Finns: they decided to position the presidential bomb shelter nearby the palace, and so they excavated beneath Uspenki Cathedral, which stands on a promontory above ground level directly above, because the sussed out that the Russians aren't going to bomb their precious orthodox cathedral just to take a few pot-shots at the president, around sixty to seventy meters below ground, into the very bedrock of the eastern port. This is the last shot I took of Skatta before we left for the last time after an overnight 400% rental increase. Broke my heart to go, and even worse was having to dump so much music gear we had no place to store. We had to take it all to the recycling centre as there was no time to advertise sales - or evening simply giving the gear away to other studios.

Criminal to see all that shit go to waste.

This is the space I managed sans all the muffles and baffles on the walls, the carpets taken up, and all our gear taken home:



It's around sixty meters below ground, but with the promontory above at another twenty-five meters, then the climb to the tip top of the cathedral being another forty meters, it's the safest place in Finland to be. Back in the day, Kallio and Kekkonen stayed here with their entourages, in the other smaller rooms along the shelter corridor. The president's bed was situated (extremely carefully) to the right about halfway down the room. Which is also where I planted my rig, though I didn't know it at the time. It's important because when the engineers constructed the shelter, the had to find the spot in the room which is directly beneath the central spire of the cathedral above. It's also the deepest point in the bedrock as they exploded further and further down.

These days that site is the data centre for southern Finland's internet supplies. Billions of euros were sank into the project over a period of seven years, while we were busy up above (yet still far below) making music and art.

But anyway, there's lots of air traffic today, helicopters whizzing about, incoming flights taking unusual routes over the city, and with the sun blazing down, it might be a nice idea to go downtown and see the lay of the land. The presidential palace is located on Market Square which sits next to the sea and is usually a vibrant area full of stalls and tented cafes, but I'd imagine there'll be no market today.

Hell of a plane, Air Force One:



It arrived in yesterday morning and the rumble of the engines was heard all over the place.

I have a mate (Salonius-Pasternak) working for YLE News, so I'll chat later to see if there's any juice on the meeting. Biden's rumoured to be staying at the five star Hilton Kalastajatorppa, but he could equally be staying at Hotel Kamp, another five star favoured by visiting rock stars and the like; it's a five minute walk to the presidential palace. I know Kalastajatorppa well as I was booked in for multiple shows over the years and it's an awesome hotel right on the sea with its own private beach for guests. But it's a drive away from the city centre. That'll see the big beast of a Cadillic doing its thing. This is the main auditorium/ballroom at Kalastajatorppa with the Mowl playing piano while checking the lights after sound check:



More as it comes in.

 

[David]

The Baltic Sea now being referred to as a 'NATO lake'.

Sorry Russia, the Baltic Sea is now NATO’s lake

Expanding the Western military alliance creates big problems for Moscow.

www.google.ie

 

[odanny]

Stockholm Sweden: the one Scandinavian city I would NEVER consider living in.

I don't understand the Swedes, they've dug themselves quite a hole to climb out of.

They had it all, then got so used to it they decided everyone can have some, and look at them now?

They did the same thing in Minnesota, which has its ancestral roots in places like Sweden, someone decided to import large numbers of Somali's into Minneapolis, a Muslim culture rooted in the desert headed to a largely white and often cold and snowy place, and one wonders, what on earth were they thinking? When you bring in such a dissimlar culture to your community, it's foolish to think they would assimilate into yours, they will create their own, and this will lead to feelings of disenfranchisement amongst both communities, and the inevitable clash is always close behind.

 

[Mowl]

They did the same thing in Minnesota, which has its ancestral roots in places like Sweden, someone decided to import large numbers of Somali's into Minneapolis, a Muslim culture rooted in the desert headed to a largely white and often cold and snowy place, and one wonders, what on earth were they thinking? When you bring in such a dissimlar culture to your community, it's foolish to think they would assimilate into yours, they will create their own, and this will lead to feelings of disenfranchisement amongst both communities, and the inevitable clash is always close behind.

It can get very nasty. I worked as a 'cultural coordinator' at one of Helsinki's language schools which all immigrants are obliged to take part in. The Muslims were a nightmare, all day every day, it never stopped. And it occurred to me that, these fuckers aren't confused, they aren't lost either, they do this shit deliberately, all day every day. After trying diplomacy as much as I could, I took things into my own hands: instead of asking them not to make sellotape arrows pointing to Mecca on the floors of the corridors, I just took them up and dumped them.

Trying to explain to them why washing your feet before prayer in the kitchen sink is also unacceptable. Or washing their lunch utensils in the ladie's/gent's also isn't on. Or wearing a hearing device under the burka in class, their phones tuned to Skype throughout the day. Hidden away and them muttering into it. The smell of their foods. The smell of their clothes in the heat of summer. The constant interruptions as the classroom Imam would object to this and that as 'inappropriate' to their beliefs. Standing up and walking out of class to take a Skype call. Deciding to use the toilet for the fifth time in hour, no asking permission either. The cars all piled up stopping regular traffic come end of the day. The mess they leave behind, the opening of all the windows so the air was fresh in the morning. Then having to close them all again. The bikes piled up in a heap by the school doors. The gangs of family members hanging around outside for hours at a time. Nothing doing either. Constantly late, disrupting the class, religious arguments, political arguments, Turks screaming at Syrians. Everyone shouting at once as soon as another barney kicked off.

And worst of all - the complete absence of any interest in learning the language.

it's not that they're confused by it - it's that they don't care, no a bit.

They think that learning to speak will mean they'll be put to work - which they will, so they fail all the time - deliberately.

I lasted five out of six months, then quit.

It's no different today, mind you, but there are ways to put them to work anyway - you don't need to speak Finnish to wash the tram, metro, and bus floors. Nor for garbage collection. Or civic works within the city tending courtyards and green areas. Or tapping up groceries at a till in a supermarket. So the ones who want to achieve will achieve and get to make choices of their own. With the State's assistance. Those who refuse, get to scrub. It's a fair deal. Take it or leave it, it's their own call.

That said, I went a Catholic School: De La Salle - twelve years. Right up to Leaving Certificate.

I saw far worse there in my childhood than I ever saw in the Finnish migrant education and assimilation more recently.

Irish priests are about the lowest life form I've come across in all my travels.

Simple fact.

 

[odanny]

There is one Scandanavian country that got it right, I think it is Denmark, they laid down some ground rules to living in their country, which ALL countries should do with immigrants. You can't claim asylum in many parts of the world, outside of Western countries, and in many countries, proof of income and no criminal record will not allow you to become a citizen, and you mist still get your Visa renewed every three months. Slip up and you get a one way ticket out of the country.

 

[Mowl]

There is one Scandanavian country that got it right, I think it is Denmark, they laid down some ground rules to living in their country, which ALL countries should do with immigrants.

We have a very tight system here in Finland too. The obligations are given to them as soon as they arrive and everyone gets the same treatment regardless of their beliefs or previous traditions. This is Finland, we have our own traditions and if you wish to partake in Finnish life, then get used to things like basic rules for most activities. They're terrified of the sauna, that's one thing that's 100% persistent across the various Middle-Eastern types in particular. Those that do venture in frequently get it wrong and they have to have things explained them over and over again.

The requirements to assimilate and be productive are insistent - if your game is to frustrate the system, then the system will drop you back to square one and you HAVE to begin again from scratch. This entails being required to attend language school five days a week studying ONLY the language, from 0800 to 1600, then off to the job assigned to you in the evening. Refuse to attend, show up late, keep fucking up - back to square one again. They take a long time getting used to it, but it's not going to change unless they do what's required of them.

There are NO free rides in Nordic life - none.

If you can't earn it - you can't have it.

If you don't want to assimilate, then get used to being sidelined and kept on a leash, it's their own call.

If they haven't all the boxes ticked on arrival and can identify themselves, they'll be processed faster and put into school and work. If they can't, then life isn't going to be much fun staying in hostel in shared dormitories with other immigrants. That's usually enough to shake them out of their slumber, the males in particular. But the same applies to the females - if they have lots of 'female issues' then they'll get to see a doctor who'll examine them, give an assessment, and hand them back to the system. The kids get dragged along depending on the efforts the parent(s) are willing to make. So the entire family will feel the burn if the elders are bums/parasites.

You can't claim asylum in many parts of the world, outside of Western countries, and in many countries, proof of income and no criminal record will not allow you to become a citizen, and you mist still get your Visa renewed every three months. Slip up and you get a one way ticket out of the country.

Even for me as a Caucasian Irish national, the process of applying to live in Finland was a long one and not very much fun at all. It's also expensive for even a fellow EU member state citizen, establishing a company, registering the business, insuring it, finding clients, presenting your annual accounts, no access to welfare, some emergency help maybe - but you're on your own. You have to show that you can feed and house yourself, your bank details are examined, not a single cent changes hands up here without some trail, few people ever try to dodge the system - it's simply too complex and too fast moving.

Marriage helps; that can set you up on the spot, overnight. If that's been your experience and you intend to marry and live in Finland, things can be done very quickly. But for me it was establishing my business and getting to work, then showing the administration that my work and career are both viable and liquid. If things crash as a result of events you have no control over, then of course the rules will bend to accommodate your situation.

Get caught working on the black market and you're first busted, then booted out. And you won't be getting back in anytime soon.

There are and will never be any free rides up here.

Plus, you'd better have the balls to not just survive the Finnish winter, you better learn to love it too - otherwose it'll bury you under an avalanche of perpetual misery that'll drive you mad in the end. I've seen Irish people I've helped along the way just give up after a few weeks or months. They can't take the winters at all.

Same with the culture: the Finns, like our other Nordic neighbours, have ancient traditions of their own.

If they don't appeal to you, you won't fit in, and if you don't fit in you'll be miserably unhappy with it all because it all happens in stages, by rote, and the rituals are consistent and persistent. We can predict our weather far easier than Ireland can: you have the troublesome Atlantic/Arctic effects that cause weather patterns to shift suddenly. In Finland we see it coming long before it arrives. So there's another subtle jolt to the system: in two weeks time, I'll be deep in the snow. Am I ready?

You better be, otherwise you'll suffer.

It isn't all snowball fights and building snowmen.

But some of it is, thankfully.