Culchies
- Thread starter Mowl
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Mowl
Member
By the time her gig was up, she suffered with terrible dementia.
Declan made a few older videos she shows up in.
She's been dead twenty years.
He still hasn't taken them down - but that's fair game really: if he doesn't give a shit about her now she's dead, then neither do I.
You can't defame the dead.
Declan made a few older videos she shows up in.
She's been dead twenty years.
He still hasn't taken them down - but that's fair game really: if he doesn't give a shit about her now she's dead, then neither do I.
You can't defame the dead.
There's two Americas now according to Val.
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Iran Launches Attack Against Israel
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Mowl
Member
Val was doing well over the weekend past, one of his videos hit 1.5K views in a day - these are decent numbers.
Only problem is his ego - he's letting it make his mind up for him and sadly he's taken the one small but worthy point he made and is dead set on diluting it into toilet water. He's made seven new videos making the same point, thereby taking the steam out of his small amount of progress. Terms like Eamon Cabbage-Head Ryan and Richard Boiled Carrot aren't helping either as they make him seem rather condescending to his 3.7K members.
On that small point - you're still less than halfway/one third of the way to beating my audience of 9.7K.
But he might make it yet - if he tries a bit harder to post something a bit more original than nine versions of last Thursday's posts.
Val - I see you're online just now: if you want to match me in membership/subscription terms, stop trying to be all things for all people. Stick to waht you know works, which is roping in other culchies. Townies don't want anything to do with stinkballs like you: fix your teeth you tight cunt - it's been three fucking years of gummy-gabbing and trying to hide the gaps in your gums. Change your fucking clothes once in a while too, you manky-jumpered half-wit.
Tone down the fake hysterical laughter that causes your voice to climb over three or four octaves per second - you sound like an hysterical auld biddy.
Most of all: don't treat your viewers as personal friends or supporters - that's patronizing them and they won't like it at all. It's not about you, it's about Ireland and the shitty position she's mooched herself into. Take Ireland as an example of what NOT TO DO. Every step she's taken over the last thirty years is what has her where she is now. Droning on and on about settling the immigrants in every politician's front garden or garage is getting a bit fucking tired.
And one more thing: that little strip of bog is going to grow over with the neglect: curb your ego, you stupid old man.
Make your videos after the cows have been washed, fed, their arse-pipes examined shoulder-deep inspected.
Only problem is his ego - he's letting it make his mind up for him and sadly he's taken the one small but worthy point he made and is dead set on diluting it into toilet water. He's made seven new videos making the same point, thereby taking the steam out of his small amount of progress. Terms like Eamon Cabbage-Head Ryan and Richard Boiled Carrot aren't helping either as they make him seem rather condescending to his 3.7K members.
On that small point - you're still less than halfway/one third of the way to beating my audience of 9.7K.
But he might make it yet - if he tries a bit harder to post something a bit more original than nine versions of last Thursday's posts.
Val - I see you're online just now: if you want to match me in membership/subscription terms, stop trying to be all things for all people. Stick to waht you know works, which is roping in other culchies. Townies don't want anything to do with stinkballs like you: fix your teeth you tight cunt - it's been three fucking years of gummy-gabbing and trying to hide the gaps in your gums. Change your fucking clothes once in a while too, you manky-jumpered half-wit.
Tone down the fake hysterical laughter that causes your voice to climb over three or four octaves per second - you sound like an hysterical auld biddy.
Most of all: don't treat your viewers as personal friends or supporters - that's patronizing them and they won't like it at all. It's not about you, it's about Ireland and the shitty position she's mooched herself into. Take Ireland as an example of what NOT TO DO. Every step she's taken over the last thirty years is what has her where she is now. Droning on and on about settling the immigrants in every politician's front garden or garage is getting a bit fucking tired.
And one more thing: that little strip of bog is going to grow over with the neglect: curb your ego, you stupid old man.
Make your videos after the cows have been washed, fed, their arse-pipes examined shoulder-deep inspected.
Electricity
Member
Keith Woods
t.me
Mowl
Member
He's a culchie too, is it?
Woods - I should have guessed.
Coal, Gas & Peat? Check
Electricity? Check
Posts & Telegraphs? Nope - Myles didn't know how to change his name
Forestry & Fisheries? Check - Keith Woods just graduated
E Electricity: has Woodsy ever done any telly work? Prime Time type shit? Chat shows? Comedy/stand up? How about a night at The International Bar on Wicklow Street? That one's a free for all, a veritable Speaker's Corner with a proper little stage and a mic/PA. I did some poetry/spoken word type shows there back in the 90s. Twenty people and it's stuffed. Ever thought of doing any stand up yourself, Jambo? y'know, a sort of 'One Night Only' speaking engagement where you can cover all the topics of the day that enthuse you?
I'm thinking Val could be elevated to a far more prominent position than he is now: momentum's on his side, but originality sadly isn't. Hardly matters, time loves a hero and he's on a roll. I can get him some attention from the producer of one current talk show. AllI need do is drop him a few choice links to some of Val's more 'out there' moments. The Scratching Song we'll overlook until the general public have met the man proper:
I'm not sure if I linked the correct video, but you get the idea.
If I can vault Val onto the national television screens for even one minute - we can change fucking everything in one fell swoop.
Val's kryptonite is that high-pitched warble he does when he's pretending to find something hysterically funny.
He goes: 'a-haa, ha, haaa, aaaaha, nyuck-nyuch, tahaaaaaaaaaa, ooojaze - ahaaaaaaaaaaa, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaa-ha, ahem, umm, eh, ummmm, yeh... a um '
Except he doesn't even deliver a punchline beforehand.
It is what it is.
And Ithink - NO: I'm sure that the Irish general public are more than ready for a new King Of Comedy:
This could be exactly what saves RTE going forward.
Think about it?
Woods - I should have guessed.
Coal, Gas & Peat? Check
Electricity? Check
Posts & Telegraphs? Nope - Myles didn't know how to change his name
Forestry & Fisheries? Check - Keith Woods just graduated
E Electricity: has Woodsy ever done any telly work? Prime Time type shit? Chat shows? Comedy/stand up? How about a night at The International Bar on Wicklow Street? That one's a free for all, a veritable Speaker's Corner with a proper little stage and a mic/PA. I did some poetry/spoken word type shows there back in the 90s. Twenty people and it's stuffed. Ever thought of doing any stand up yourself, Jambo? y'know, a sort of 'One Night Only' speaking engagement where you can cover all the topics of the day that enthuse you?
I'm thinking Val could be elevated to a far more prominent position than he is now: momentum's on his side, but originality sadly isn't. Hardly matters, time loves a hero and he's on a roll. I can get him some attention from the producer of one current talk show. AllI need do is drop him a few choice links to some of Val's more 'out there' moments. The Scratching Song we'll overlook until the general public have met the man proper:
I'm not sure if I linked the correct video, but you get the idea.
If I can vault Val onto the national television screens for even one minute - we can change fucking everything in one fell swoop.
Val's kryptonite is that high-pitched warble he does when he's pretending to find something hysterically funny.
He goes: 'a-haa, ha, haaa, aaaaha, nyuck-nyuch, tahaaaaaaaaaa, ooojaze - ahaaaaaaaaaaa, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaa-ha, ahem, umm, eh, ummmm, yeh... a um '
Except he doesn't even deliver a punchline beforehand.
It is what it is.
And I
This could be exactly what saves RTE going forward.
Think about it?
Mowl
Member
Yeah, sure - except I watch Irish news and political chat shows for the laughs.
You should try it - it's an infinite source of profound hilarity the way you losers take yourselves so seriously.
I can't stop laughing most of the time.
Says the guy who watches one man only - for the duration of the day.
Some plonker from Castlecomber or Sneem, wandering around some grey and misty scrublands gesturing with his hands while he speaks about all manner of tripe like he knows what he's talking about. Roundy knows more about his line of hustle than Keith Woods likely does. Tell us: do you subscribe to him in the Patreon sense? Do you contribute to his bank balance to keep his rent paid and some nosh in the fridge for after his daily hand-wringing in the woods sort of rip on David Attenborough?
We know you pay for Dutch beer over Irish ales.
We know you have a television too - though I doubt you pay the cable/license fee.
So anyway - no one with a clue about what watches telly?
About how cute Keith is when his lisp reveals itself and he touches his lips with his index finger in that oh-so seductive way that tingles and tantalizes you?
Buy some cheap porn, kid - you're fooling no one.
You should try it - it's an infinite source of profound hilarity the way you losers take yourselves so seriously.
I can't stop laughing most of the time.
Says the guy who watches one man only - for the duration of the day.
Some plonker from Castlecomber or Sneem, wandering around some grey and misty scrublands gesturing with his hands while he speaks about all manner of tripe like he knows what he's talking about. Roundy knows more about his line of hustle than Keith Woods likely does. Tell us: do you subscribe to him in the Patreon sense? Do you contribute to his bank balance to keep his rent paid and some nosh in the fridge for after his daily hand-wringing in the woods sort of rip on David Attenborough?
We know you pay for Dutch beer over Irish ales.
We know you have a television too - though I doubt you pay the cable/license fee.
So anyway - no one with a clue about what watches telly?
About how cute Keith is when his lisp reveals itself and he touches his lips with his index finger in that oh-so seductive way that tingles and tantalizes you?
Buy some cheap porn, kid - you're fooling no one.
Electricity
Member
I don't think that you do, you watch it because you're 58 going on 80 (and you might get an idea for some content on your Facebook page - that no one reads)
Mowl
Member
He's trying too hard.
This is going to blow up in his face eventually.
It's inevitable, he has no sense of proportion; all this malarkey about him being exceptionally intelligent and Ireland's second most intelligent man has made him look smug rather than moderate and self-deprecating. Everyone loves to see a big mouthed yob getting their due comeuppance, and when Val Martin's day comes around he's going to regret having ever started this shit.
I bet the likes of this is something he desperately wants to bury, but he can't - it's all over the place already, courtesy of the Mowl.
As for that video? That fucking flip-phone is something from the 1990s - who the fuck uses flip-phones these days? They're antiques. But so is Val.
He's currently doing around nine videos a day - there's one just went up an hour ago.
Probably about the control panel his slurry spreader being hacked by the Russians and the Chinese military hiding in his herb garden.
The crazy bastard.
This is going to blow up in his face eventually.
It's inevitable, he has no sense of proportion; all this malarkey about him being exceptionally intelligent and Ireland's second most intelligent man has made him look smug rather than moderate and self-deprecating. Everyone loves to see a big mouthed yob getting their due comeuppance, and when Val Martin's day comes around he's going to regret having ever started this shit.
I bet the likes of this is something he desperately wants to bury, but he can't - it's all over the place already, courtesy of the Mowl.
As for that video? That fucking flip-phone is something from the 1990s - who the fuck uses flip-phones these days? They're antiques. But so is Val.
He's currently doing around nine videos a day - there's one just went up an hour ago.
Probably about the control panel his slurry spreader being hacked by the Russians and the Chinese military hiding in his herb garden.
The crazy bastard.
Something new for Val to discuss on his YouTube channel.
www.agriland.ie
Case of mad cow disease confirmed in Scotland - Agriland.ie
The Scottish government has confirmed that a case of classical mad cow disease was detected on a farm in Ayrshire.
www.agriland.ie
