Culchies
- Thread starter Mowl
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I reckon Val had drank more pints than there are counties in Ireland before filming this.
Mowl
Member
Seventeen pints of home-brewed moonshine fed to a massive ego like Val's has the potential to explode and drench the entire country in slurry.
They're even asking him to run for Cavan.
Culchies, eh.
Mowl
Member
And running for Kingscourt Co Cavan we have Val Martin sporting a tricky combination of flannel shirt with polyester tie, under a roundy necked jumper and peaked cap. Although he's missing a few front teeth (as a result of knocking them out with a spanner while under a tractor) he wears the vital elements of the traditional culchie like he was born in them. Which might well be the case given his loathing of soap and warm water.
He's currently courting 4.59 subscribers with his 836 videos which have received 597,372 replies since October 1st 2011.
One assumes most of them dress in similiar attire to Val's and are likely missing as many (if not more) front teeth with zero intention of ever visiting a dentist. Culchies are like that: they'd rather walk down the high street giving the finger to any and every dentist's surgery than pay a dentist to fix their faces. They likely consider this a 'win/win' situation: 'I might be missin' a few aul' teeth alright there now, but sure I won't be paying a scab like you to fix me up. H'wan now.'
Seriously though: the tie?
What the fuck was he thinking?
He's currently courting 4.59 subscribers with his 836 videos which have received 597,372 replies since October 1st 2011.
One assumes most of them dress in similiar attire to Val's and are likely missing as many (if not more) front teeth with zero intention of ever visiting a dentist. Culchies are like that: they'd rather walk down the high street giving the finger to any and every dentist's surgery than pay a dentist to fix their faces. They likely consider this a 'win/win' situation: 'I might be missin' a few aul' teeth alright there now, but sure I won't be paying a scab like you to fix me up. H'wan now.'
Seriously though: the tie?
What the fuck was he thinking?
Mowl
Member
Val hasn't done a video in three days, so you just KNOW he's been suspended again.
He knows what the bad words are, but he can't help himself when he's all full of himself and thinking he's a star, an online philosopher and farmer - with cows.
What does that bit mean: 'with cows'?
Could be be without cows?
I'm eternally and totally without any cows at all.
But he's 'with' his.
He knows what the bad words are, but he can't help himself when he's all full of himself and thinking he's a star, an online philosopher and farmer - with cows.
What does that bit mean: 'with cows'?
Could be be without cows?
I'm eternally and totally without any cows at all.
But he's 'with' his.
Mowl
Member
Old Thicko's back - claiming his hiatus was down to a broken phone rather than the 72hr ban he actually got - courtesy of The Mowl.
Thicko is claiming that there aren't any video recorders that you can pause while filming.
First off, videos of the nature Val suggests would begin at the beginning and not stop recording until the tape is either full or the battery runs out. It can't be paused or stopped for that reason.
Can someone please tell him what a thick fucking cunt he is?
Thicko is claiming that there aren't any video recorders that you can pause while filming.
First off, videos of the nature Val suggests would begin at the beginning and not stop recording until the tape is either full or the battery runs out. It can't be paused or stopped for that reason.
Can someone please tell him what a thick fucking cunt he is?
Mowl
Member
Another classic example of Val's transvestite leanings.
Why he does this is a mystery to me, he's also one of the least funny people online. He has these illusions that people don't get his 'funny stories' when in fact they're so see-through and childish it beggars belief. He's not funny, he's not even mildly amusing. I tend to laugh at him rather his jokes. He can't see the difference though so it clearly illustrates how metropolitan Ireland and culchie Ireland are world's apart.
I doubt even culchies find him amusing, if you read the comments under his video uploads - they actually take this buffoon seriously.
It's another clear illustration of why Ireland is utterly fucked.
Why he does this is a mystery to me, he's also one of the least funny people online. He has these illusions that people don't get his 'funny stories' when in fact they're so see-through and childish it beggars belief. He's not funny, he's not even mildly amusing. I tend to laugh at him rather his jokes. He can't see the difference though so it clearly illustrates how metropolitan Ireland and culchie Ireland are world's apart.
I doubt even culchies find him amusing, if you read the comments under his video uploads - they actually take this buffoon seriously.
It's another clear illustration of why Ireland is utterly fucked.
Mowl
Member
You can always spot a culchie. Their filthy hands differ from urban people's hands in that they're always fucked up, manky, nails in need of a clipping normally reserved for bulldogs and captured wolves in the zoo. Declan Kelly's hands are the worst mind you - stumpy little fingers that look like ten thumbs. They make it impossible for him to type on his device, though I also reserve the possibility that he uses a spell-checker for all of his inane one-liners and bastardized usage of the term 'all' as though he's speaking to a large group of people like visitors to the national art galleries.
This is Val's hand tuning in his radio on the kitchen.
Look at the fucking mank of that radio?
There has to be two dozen types of bacteria living on it and in it.
Val's greatest fear has to be getting surprised with a good hosing down while crouched over on the shitting ditch. Freezing cold water, at high speed at first but then lessening as the tank empties and finally squirts out its last. The filthy band-aid hanging off his thumb certainly doesn't bade well for Missus Val.
Scabby dirty fucking animals.
This is Val's hand tuning in his radio on the kitchen.
Look at the fucking mank of that radio?
There has to be two dozen types of bacteria living on it and in it.
Val's greatest fear has to be getting surprised with a good hosing down while crouched over on the shitting ditch. Freezing cold water, at high speed at first but then lessening as the tank empties and finally squirts out its last. The filthy band-aid hanging off his thumb certainly doesn't bade well for Missus Val.
Scabby dirty fucking animals.
Electricity
Member
Val's mildly amusing enough..
I mean, you know he's joking here, right? -
Post in thread 'Learning Irish is an act of political revolution' https://www.sarsfieldsvirtualpub.co...n-act-of-political-revolution.914/post-102937
I went to an Irish language primary school, though I probably don't remember as much as I should. My mother is, and always was very fond of the language...hence her insistence that I go to such a school. I still remember myself and the other kids getting Nóta Béarla for speaking English in class or in the yard. Hard to believe it declined so rapidly after the 1840s, more so as it was still so prevalent during the 1700s. Irish was one of the languages Ben Franklin encountered when he first moved to Philadelphia. It would have been prevalent throughout the Caribbean as well due to the Cromwellian conquest.
p.s. Yanks can barely do Irish accents on TV properly, never mind learn and pronounce one of Europe's oldest languages...so don't embarss yourselves.
p.s. Yanks can barely do Irish accents on TV properly, never mind learn and pronounce one of Europe's oldest languages...so don't embarss yourselves.
Mowl
Member
I tend to laugh at him, not with him.
I think that account is also frequently used by Declan to drum up some activity.
If Ireland still had her language, then she likely wouldn't be as deep in the shit as she is.
The Finnish language is a blessing for us: it keeps the savages out of our country and off into yours.
Example: on Monday last an advert for TV was shot out in our courtyard.
The finished product was broadcast last night for the first time (a yogurt ad) in Finnish.
Every ad on Finnish TV is either made in Finland or else changed to Finnish in the studio.
All our national products and services are offered in Finnish first.
This keeps lots of people in jobs and spending within the country borders.
If Ireland had the Irish language, then things might well have fared batter than they have.
The fact that English is your first language has severe consequences at your incoming borders.
Electricity
Member
It's true that it doesn't help that we're an English speaking country but it's a bit late to cry over that spilt milk
Mowl
Member
But that doesn't mean it's completely dead.
If Ireland were to start teaching in the Irish language from an early age with the kids then maybe it could be dragged up to at least second language status. Which they say it is already what with news in Gaelic and all your street signage in both languages. After the first world war and Finland's uprising in 1917, the Finns removed all of the street signs (which were then in Russian first - one hundred years of occupation, and Sweden second - eight hundred years of occupation after King Gustav.
Now they're all Finnish first and Swedish second. Some wonderful little hamlets and satellite towns east of Helsinki use Swedish first and Finnish second. Places like Turku, Hango, Porvoo, and Fiskars (the famous orange handled scissors and industrial tool fabricators) which is built on a river and is so beautiful it'd make you cry. Wooden buildings that date from the 1800s through to today are still standing.
Map of the village
Map on the Fiskars Village area displays the location of our services and activities.
fiskarsvillage.fi
We also have Swedish TV, but I don't tune into it - same with Estonian, Russian, and Lapland.
I enjoy checking out Lappish news on the Oddosat channel which is shared with YLE News every evening for Sami people. They speak a different strain of Finnish. It's recognizably different to regular Finnish to me, just as with Estonian language. The old Hanseatic League left it's mark on all of the capitals along the former eastern front, including Lithuania, and Latvia.
If languages like Sami are still trending, then there's no reason why Irish couldn't try to be the same.
I've never seen anyone in Dublin or Ireland turn their head to heed the news in Gaelic.
Electricity
Member
Did you see the video of them dumping fake fugees in a Gaeltacht?But that doesn't mean it's completely dead.
If Ireland were to start teaching in the Irish language from an early age with the kids then maybe it could be dragged up to at least second language status. Which they say it is already what with news in Gaelic and all your street signage in both languages. After the first world war and Finland's uprising in 1917, the Finns removed all of the street signs (which were then in Russian first - one hundred years of occupation, and Sweden second - eight hundred years of occupation after King Gustav.
Now they're all Finnish first and Swedish second. Some wonderful little hamlets and satellite towns east of Helsinki use Swedish first and Finnish second. Places like Turku, Hango, Porvoo, and Fiskars (the famous orange handled scissors and industrial tool fabricators) which is built on a river and is so beautiful it'd make you cry. Wooden buildings that date from the 1800s through to today are still standing.
Map of the village
Map on the Fiskars Village area displays the location of our services and activities.
We also have Swedish TV, but I don't tune into it - same with Estonian, Russian, and Lapland.
I enjoy checking out Lappish news on the Oddosat channel which is shared with YLE News every evening for Sami people. They speak a different strain of Finnish. It's recognizably different to regular Finnish to me, just as with Estonian language. The old Hanseatic League left it's mark on all of the capitals along the former eastern front, including Lithuania, and Latvia.
If languages like Sami are still trending, then there's no reason why Irish couldn't try to be the same.
I've never seen anyone in Dublin or Ireland turn their head to heed the news in Gaelic.
Anyway, a revival of Gaeilge isn't really the answer (it'd be quicker storming Leinster House)
Mowl
Member
No - but I can imagine the hilarity of the locals.
True that it can't undo the damage already done, but a unique language is/would be quite a proud achievement for a population as small as Ireland's (or Finland for that matter). Besides, when I get home and hop off the plane, the Dublin accent puts the fear of the bejayzus up me. Every moment I spend there is a caterwaul of horror to my ears.
I don't have a Dublin accent (or even a recognizably noticeable Irish accent) so I find it best to avoid speaking with any of the natives outside of the airport itself. The only times I use Irish up here is in greeting my Irish neighbour Gaeroid, or when dealing with coppers who approach me for the likes of that €25 fine I was awarded for crossing a quiet road in the sheer depths of winter with the snow hammering down around me.
Gobdaw, gombeen, sleeveen, mong, it's all good.
Slainte.
Mowl
Member
Val and his (gay) son traveled to Italy for some Roma knacker's wedding. Val couldn't resist making a bit of video to prove that he actually left the country at all, and with his (gay) son in tow. I wonder if that's the reason he hates all this 'woke' nonsense? His son Paul (gay) can be seen in this very short (5sec) video clip with his (gay) lover, whose (gay) name isn't mentioned.
Like his bumbling Da, Paul (gay) has a this big mad looking head that looks too large for his (gay) neck.
Says Val: 'ummmmmmgonna viddyooo-it, hold on, now...'
He's some class act alright.
Like his bumbling Da, Paul (gay) has a this big mad looking head that looks too large for his (gay) neck.
Says Val: 'ummmmmmgonna viddyooo-it, hold on, now...'
He's some class act alright.