Mowl
Member
Too many tins of Dutch Gold?
You big fucking pansy.
Do you have Liam's portrait on the wall to kiss before sleepy-times?
You were out begging for odds by the front door?
How much did he give you?
Enough for a six-pack of Dutch Gold?
The Music Thread
- Thread starter Mowl
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Too many tins of Dutch Gold?
You big fucking pansy.
Do you have Liam's portrait on the wall to kiss before sleepy-times?
You were out begging for odds by the front door?
How much did he give you?
Enough for a six-pack of Dutch Gold?
Electricity
Member
No, we were both having a drink at tables and chairs "outdoors" in an airport, both waiting for someone. And we got chatting for a bit. We prossibly arrived on the same flight but I didn't notice that he was on it. It was quite late too so the airport wasn't very busy
Mowl
Member
You were both waiting for the same person?
What was your angle?
Taxi driving?
Bell-hop?
Like two old ladies in the cheese aisle.
Highly improssible.
And?
Electricity
Member
And it was more likely that we would strike up a conversation considering that we were the only two people (customers) there
Any more stupid questions?
Mowl
Member
Did you get a nice selfie to show your Da?
So you met Paul Weller?
Yeah.
Of course you did.
Of course it's more likely in your case that you meet persons of note on public transport where I usually meet them backstage at the AAA bar.
And that's what really pisses you off the most.
Electricity
Member
Hahahahaaa..Yeah you might say that.
Generation white britpop mindless fuckwits who essentially missed the whole era they were born into - all the creativity and vitality around in the time of their youth sailing clean over their philistine and lobotomised empty heads.
Another mindless mass movement.
From chess to Britpop.. everything's white supremacy to our resident psychotic, anti-white Jew
Electricity
Member
Lumpy Von Talbot
Member
I don't think celebrities should be allowed to mix with real people anyway. And mostly they aren't by their managers so that all works out. If you should meet a celebrity just scream repeatedly at them 'FUCK OFF BACK TO THE TELLY, HELLSPAWN,"
I find that usually shifts them.
I find that usually shifts them.
Mowl
Member
Agreed, hence that mad night out in Dublin I had with world heavyweight boxing champion Lennox Lewis.
As you'll recall, upon meeting him I asked the simple question: '...and what the fuck are YOU looking at? '
What ensued was sheer bedlam: one of the best night's out in Dublin ever.
Lennox dumped his crew and left by the back door with me and a mate (who drove a tiny car like Delboy's two-seat three wheeler Reliant Regal).
Lennox sat upfront, so the whole car leaned to one side, and I was in the back trying to counter his weight when we turned corners.
Nobody would take our money: Mulligan's, The Palace Bar, The Long Hall, and then Lillie's Bordello - with me in my painty-dungarees.
Best night out ever.
Electricity
Member
Electricity
Member
Puke.
You don't know who Xurious is?
No surprises there (that might give you an idea for a Radiohead song)
Mowl
Member
No.
I don't fucking care who Xurion is.
Different thing altogether, Shay.
I like musicians who can play their instruments, not the type who use the demonstration tune on the latest plastic keyboard from Taiwan as a backing track.
Radiohead have passed their prime. I've seen them three times, but never paid for the tickets. I make my own, you see. It's one of the better sidelines of being a calligrapher and design artist: I look at the poster advertising the show, see which record they're touring, collect the tiny amount of information required, and then head down to the print shop to run off a few laminated AAA passes which are shared among my crew and a method of two in/one out employed to get us all in through the stage door/backstage gate.
I met Johnny Greenwood before Radiohead played The Olympia back in the early 90s: he was having a beer with his lady in the Globe, one of my old haunts. I mentioned that the gig was totally sold out for weeks and that tickets were at a premium. He apologized that he couldn't get me in on the guest list as their management handled that, so I showed him a laminate of my own and he bust a nut laughing. Later that evening, I got somewhere between fourteen to sixteen friends in. They rewarded my stunt with copious amounts of free beer during and after the show.
Do I ever feel bad about forging passes? Fuck no. If someone did it to get into a gig I was playing, I'd congratulate them. As would many artists, like Bowie, whose (very tight guest list) show at The Factory production studio I attended. He introduced his wife, Iman. He was cool, down to earth and up for a laugh. Same with many other international artists I've met over the years. So I handed him my fake AAA and he bust a nut laughing. So did Jamiroquai. As did Sade. Not Van Morrison though, because I know better than to approach him. He's not people friendly, so it's best to keep a safe distance.
Life's supposed to be fun, Jimmy.
A little ducking and diving can open many doors to those adventurous enough to blag their way in.
This is how I rub shoulders with the global elite in many different areas of art, music, and sport.
I know it bothers you that your life thus far has only washed you up on the shores of losers like Coldcut/Woodbines/Magron.
But that's not my fault - it's your own.
Try to live a bit before you die, Jimmy - y'know: enjoy yourself.
It's later than you think.
Electricity
Member
Mowl
Member
Now you've got it.
Nah, it's called the demonstration tune. Every Casio keyboard has one based on the available sounds and the parameters around them. They're designed to be ear-worms in the same manner the Simpson's theme is arranged: it gives you a variety of sounds that are both familiar and strange. Balance them just right and now you've got a niggling little tune you can't get out of your head. You find yourself in the kitchen cooking and realize you're humming it. You're sitting on the jacks and it's going round and round your head while you sit there contemplating life.
Even digital watches have them.
Pretty much every programmable drum machine I've ever used has one.
The classic Roland R5 Human Rhythm Composer is an unbeatable studio option. Written and arranged in standard yes/no 0/1 it has a unique number of features you won't find in any other rhythm composer. It has what's called 'human feel' options where the loop you just created can feature an added 'human' factor of varying degrees which does a number of things:
Shifts single notes just a millisecond off beat in either direction.
Create a juxtaposition of on beats and off beats that vary slightly in volume and attack.
How hard you hit the pads when creating the loop, the memory stores that information and uses it to offset random dynamics.
Offers you not only several hundred sounds on the card, but also five parameters for editing the basic sample.
When the 'human' factor is added, the machine takes over and offers you a variety of 'feel' and 'swing' factors.
Everything you hear in the demonstration tune is available to use - if you know how to create/sculpt the sample sound database.
All you need to do to hear the demo is turn the little fucker on - it's your first option on start-up.
Mine is over in the corner mounted on my Roland digital drum-set, which I use for teaching the kids.
That's Benni and Joa, two of a friend's kids: I programmed the pads on the kit to trigger farm animal/zoo sounds so they could have fun with the samples before trying to make them 'sing'. Kids are fascinated by the interfacing of everyday things into digital samples. I can even sample their voices and make a complete set of drum/cymbal sample responses so they can hear themselves both sing a melody (of samples) and then harmonize with it in real time. Kids are brighter than you might think, Jimmy. Give them the right tools and adequate encouragement and see them take to their wings to fly.
You can stick to the basic three chords and a few Oasis b-sides.
That's as deep as music will ever be to you, kid.
Mowl
Member
'No one really cares about "'originality'" in music' Jambo: 12.07.2024
Electricity
Member
Thanks for quoting me
Yes, who decides whether they like (the very derivative art form of) music based on its 'originality'
Originality is a code word for sounds crap