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Culchies abroad - here's your main man Val the farmer (with cows) goes to Italy for a posh wedding. Can't seem to get over it either. But at least he made an effort in turning himself out for the big day. Look at the fucking tie? Holy fucking Miami Vice.



Grey pants too short? Check
Choice of tie? Check
Cheap slip-on shoes? Check
Farm jacket? Check

A walking embarrassment to all of us really. You'd think his Missus or one of his sons might have him offside for some friendly? Not a fucking chance. Val dresses as well as he reads or writes. Terribly. Even when he flies across Europe to a town he's never been (on the Adriatic 'Ocean' (sic)) he still tries to make it all about himself. He even uploaded a video about his other videos saying why this or that video is relevant for x, y, and z reasons.

Give a little rope to a culchie and watch them hang themselves.

 
Mowl said:
Culchies abroad - here's your main man Val the farmer (with cows) goes to Italy for a posh wedding. Can't seem to get over it either. But at least he made an effort in turning himself out for the big day. Look at the fucking tie? Holy fucking Miami Vice.

Click to expand...
Mowl said:
Grey pants too short? Check
Click to expand...
I always thought culchies said pants instead of trousers

Mowl said:
Choice of tie? Check
Cheap slip-on shoes? Check
Farm jacket? Check

A walking embarrassment to all of us really. You'd think his Missus or one of his sons might have him offside for some friendly? Not a fucking chance. Val dresses as well as he reads or writes. Terribly. Even when he flies across Europe to a town he's never been (on the Adriatic 'Ocean' (sic)) he still tries to make it all about himself. He even uploaded a video about his other videos saying why this or that video is relevant for x, y, and z reasons.

Give a little rope to a culchie and watch them hang themselves.

Click to expand...
 
"... Ireland’s fashion capital, according to the study, is Cavan, which leads the way as the most trend-setting town in Ireland..."

"... 'dress’ is the most popular term, with 132 searches per month..."

MissVal.jpeg


FFS.

"... The study analysed Google searches for a list of keywords, including... ‘summer dress’, ‘denim skirt’ and ‘flare jeans’... a list of fashion-related keywords, including ‘Louis Vuitton bag’, ‘mini dress’ and ‘maxi skirt’..."

That's the home counties of the Arsefielders doxxed then.
 
Whoa - back in the day I spent a lot of time in Bray, where I had a lady friend.

Nights out during summer were always a blast. A few drinks in Jim Doyle's front garden in the sun then off to The Dug Inn for the midnight show. John Martyn was a regular - he did solo shows after midnight for a fiver in. Usually after his main gig with his band in The Boxing Stadium on the south circular. He was friendly, courteous, and whacked up on the Colombian marching powder. Bray was bustling back then, the streets full of party people.

On a site now called The Maltings, I rented an enormous space in what used to be a wallpaper manufacturers, and the first floor was a storage space full of baths and sinks. I took a space of around 120sqm for £20 a month. It wasn't safe but I took my chances and left my working kit there so I could show up any time. I'd often take the last bus out to Bray and spend the night working alone.

It was very spooky. Half the roof was missing or caved in down the front end, and my end was full of pigeons. At night there were all sorts of weird noises and it sometimes freaked me out enough to take the torch and have a look around that there wasn't a burglar scoping me out. As I was looking around this one time, a startled pigeon took flight right next to my ear and I almost passed out with the fright. Eventually I had to move out as the site was bought by a developer and renovations were to begin.

A couple of years later a pal of mine moved into an apartment his folks bought as an investment. He stayed there in between guests (usually famous people who needed a place nearby Ardmore Studios). So Daniel Day Lewis, Juliette Lewis (no relation) Jim Kerr, and several other big names stayed there. When it was empty for a while, he invited me over for dinner. I couldn't fucking believe it: his lounge used to be my studio. Except now it's absolutely fucking stunning. The beams of the ceiling had been cut through to make a floating bed above the lounge. Massive kitchen, several bedrooms, art, antique furniture, the works.

I got to sleep up on the gantry above the lounge. I had nightmares - really vivid and very scary. I started remembering the pigeons and the noises I used to hear. A dead friend (his brother) showed up in one dream. In the end I found a bedroom offside the lounge and slept there instead. The place is listed for millions at the moment but I'm not sure who owns it now.

This one is located at the far end of the building to where my studio was, it's smaller but still has lots of the old beams and stonework.

www.property24-7.ie

Apartment 8, The Mill, The Maltings, Bray, Co. Wicklow, A98 HY05

www.property24-7.ie www.property24-7.ie

Talk about fashionable addresses.
 
When a right gobshite loser of a culchie gomb tries to act all literate:



🤣



Forget it, Marcus - you're too fucking dumb for words​
 
Good fucking Jaze?

What's with the fucking tie over a lumberjack's shirt?

Bet his pants are tucked into his wellies - up to his bollocks.
 
The wellington boot is the height of culchie fashion.

There's a tiny little Finnish town up north near the wilds called Nokia. In Nokia, they produced rubber boots for a global market, made some nice profits and decided to get into telephony to see if they fared any better there. They became the world's number on brand for a period, made stupid amounts of money and continued to diversify. Now the town of Nokia has a sizeable population, all of whom live a very nice quality of life.

But not even Finnish fishermen are daft enough to add a tie to a heavy lumberjack's shirt.

Val has the fashion sense of a three-legged moose in a hurry.
 
€40 for screws, €20 for smaller screws.

€2.900 to have a false front tooth fitted - fuck that: he took the screws and forgot his mouth.

The tight-arsed culchie gummy-gum drops smelly fucker.
 
Val taking on Sinn Fein:



The poor witless and toothless fool.

He's still one of the best people you've got though - so think long and hard about that.
 
It's hilarious how Val thinks anybody gives an actual fuck concerning what he has to say about this, that or d'other.
 
In fairness to him - he's designed his own way of presenting things that actually does appeal to his fellow culchies. Yes, there are a million hilarious things about Val that are easy to fling back at him. But aside from me - show me one other member of any of these sites who can match his audience scale and reach? Yes, only culchies would even consider taking their advice from Val about anything bar whether Barry's or Lyon's would win in a duel at dawn. But they're still watching him, and he's boosted his viewers by at least five or ten per day for some months by now.

Obviously, he wants to reach the magical 10,000 in an effort to pass me by, but sure I'm only a couple of dozen off the ten thousand mark. And I don't mince my words either, so there's a lesson to be learned there. In fact, if and when it happens for Val, I'll be the first to congratulate him, because he did it by himself. He said he would, then he started - now you're beginning to see the end result of all that neglect of his cows and wife, sons and daughter.

He's renowned in Kingscourt, like royalty when he calls by the builder's providers for his shovel and fork handles, knives and forks for the table, and some rough grade sandpaper for his hole. But soon enough all of Cavan north will know his wrath. He may even cross the border into Brit territory, thereby unleashing the fury of the PSNI on top of the farmer's union.

Yes, he's as thick as they come, but no: not one of you can match him when he takes to his stride - and you know his main objective there is to try his level best to out-number the membership of the Mowl. Of course, I don't need to try, my site was built for me by concerned locals who directed everyone they knew to my articles as soon as they possibly could. Including their kids, who were reminded that the Mowl went to the same schools they did, and look at how well he writes? He's usually a few days ahead of the real news too, so his informers and providers are clearly on the ball.

This was Val not so long ago:



This is Val today:



Taking on Sinn Fein, no less. And his name and address all over the internet along with his phone numbers? And him living next to the border? With cows? With two houses and a Shitting Ditch? Fair fucking play to him, even if it has all cost him dearly. The hours he puts in every day? Every night? The laptops he goes through what with letting them fall into the Shitting Ditch while he's broadcasting from his throne? he's earned his little perch, don't forget that. He went right out of his way to get it done and it's worked for him.

Meanwhile, here's Jambo:

 
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