Why would anybody voluntarily move to Oz - unless they're a convict with no other choice bar the death penalty? Personally I'd have chosen the gallows.
I've no idea. They're all descended from criminals, every one of them. Still, your man Fishslap over on Arsefield's is trying to tell me that Australia's biggest tourist attraction is a factory beside a rock where they pick and then can fruits. Apparently, Australia has a knack for growing mandarins in the desert. People from all over the world go there to watch these kids on their gap year picking apples. And a few oranges.
The current generation of Australians can rest easy after their descendents they did their damnedest to murder the natives: it's not much to be proud of, eh.
This Australian lad,
Fishslap - over on Arsefield's - is very easily triggered, the poor fool.
He said earlier:
The Mowl learned what he knows about Australia from a Simpson's episode. It was great by the way lol
Apart from the fact that I don't watch TV, Fishslap.
It's true that the majority of Australia is arid, but that's where it begins and ends.
You're not wrong there, Fish-paste. It begins with sand and rocks and it ends with more sand and more rocks. Australia - 99.99999% sand, rocks, sand, and rocks. A country so empty of life the road builders had to add circular loops in the highways every five thousand miles to keep drivers awake and focused when driving across the endless fucking deserts. Nothing around for miles and miles apart from the giant rats hopping around all over the place, attacking people, attacking passing cars, and killing kids. Big long snakes, giant spiders bigger than my hand, and a horrible accent that makes them sound like
everything they say is a question?
Virtually nobody lives in the arid regions of Australia.
Which is 99.9999999% of the entire continent.
Not even the Kooris did before white fellas got here.
See? The natives are second class citizens on their own giant desert.
The majority live on the coasts which are rich, fertile and beautiful.
The coasts of
any island are rich and fertile, you big dumb Australian.
In fact due to volcanic activity especially in Northern NSW the soil is incredibly fertile.
Yeah, but nobody wants to live there either, they couldn't
GIVE that land away.
There is no ariable land comparable in nutrient quality to this in Finland, and all Australian produce, from Beef to apples, is superior to Finnish produce.
Ariable?
Ariable? What the fuck is that? As we can see, the education bar for Australians is set low enough for even the dumbest Ozzie to grasp.
You're now trying to compare a Nordic country to a desert?
You're an idiot.
How would you know what Finnish produce tastes like? You live in a desert.
Tell us anyway, Bruce: why use a capital B in the word beef?
Australia is a far, far, far more diverse and rich country than Finland ever could or will be.
Nya, nah-na, na na: my country is better than your country, nya, nah, na, na, na.
Little tip: Finland is listed by the OECD as 'the world's happiest country' - six years in row. In a row, mind you.
Six times. In six years. How many times has Australia been nominated for anything bar being a giant historic open sand prison barren of people but crawling with
kangaroos giant rats and snakes?
Especially in terms of natural beauty, and wildlife.
So now sand is beautiful? Well, I guess if it's all you've got then you have to make the best of it.
That and a few rocks next to the piles of shit from the giant rats.
"Nothing Grows" LMAO The farming areas of Gippsland, for example, are larger than the entirety of Finland.
Pahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Nobody knows what or where that is or what you're talking about, you complete fucking imbecile. You can't grow anything on sand. Apart from the piles of kangaroo shit everywhere. Outside of that, you can build sandcastles, but the wind soon flattens them because there's nothing to stop the gales that cut across the deserts and send the tumbleweeds rolling in every direction. Not a drop of rain. Not a cloud in the sky. Just heat, sand, and more heat. And big gigantic rats.
Australia produces a diversity of food that Finland could never possibly match..
Like shrimp for the barbie?
Face it: you come from a fucking desert. All you're short of is a towel around your head and access to an English/Arabic dictionary. Is it hard to shout 'Allahu akbar' in Australian/English? Do you make it sound like a question, as you do with everything else in your accent? '
Allahu akbar? Anyone? No? Eh.....'
Australia exports nothing, apart from people born there desperate to leave. The heat, the sand, the giant rats, the vast unending desert, and more sand.
..and that's because we have literally every kind of growing zone.
Literally?
Now you're stretching it, kid. You were doing fine for a while there, but being a typical idiot Ozzie, you had to push it too far. Like trying to explain to educated people why your vast deserts and scrub-lands are 'beautiful' and are 'tourist destinations'. Your biggest national tourist attraction is a rock. A big giant rock in the middle of a big giant desert. No wonder your country was selected as an open prison. A big rock the giants rats hop up and down on?
The most famous Australian I ever heard of is Rolf Harris. He was imprisoned for molesting kids. He used his artistic skills to lure children into his den of vile iniquity, then raped them. A child rapist. That's your national hero. The original '
Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport' man himself, asking you to hold down his kangaroo while he gives it some action up the shitter. A vile man in every possible way, and an Australian folk hero. Best mates with Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter. A regular visitor to Thailand for the kiddie action.
This is the best you've got?
Kylie Minogue and Rolf fucking Harris?
Strewth.
Cold/Temperate regions such as Tasmania produce Truffles, salmon, cherries and all stone fruits/pomes.
There are no cold regions in Australia - it's a desert.
I thought I said that already, no?
There isn't a capital letter in the word 'truffles' either, not unless it's used to begin a sentence.
You Australians aren't very well educated, are you? Must be all that endless fucking heat roasting your arse off while you're sitting there in the classroom looking at Jesus nailed to a crucifix on one wall and a framed picture of Crocodile Dundee on the other. Your ability to use the Queen's English being about as competent as two giant rats fighting over a rock. Or a pile of sand.
Dairy is mostly in Victoria.
You have
one town that produces milk?
One town?
Fuck me.
Tropical fruit mostly from QLD and Northern NSW.
You have no exports. None. Apart from sand and people, that's all.
Hell,
It certainly is as close to hell on Earth as it gets.
locally in my state there's even a tropical fruit tourist destination
There's no such fucking thing as a 'tourist destination fruit farm'. Not unless you have absolutely fuck all else to attract people to spend some money on your barren desert island continent bar a big rock in the middle of it. Nobody travels halfway around the world to watch a mandarin grow. Or to look at a big rock. Surrounded by giant rats. What kind of gobshite takes a twenty-seven hour flight down to the most barren land on the planet to watch some bloke picking apples?
Stop already - you're a hazard to Australian national pride.
Tropical fruit world.
Sounds fabulous alright.
'
And over here we have a mandarin, folks. See? Not a small orange, but a man-dar-in - it's a Chinese word meaning 'sand rat''.
Imagine paying out two grand on a twenty-seven hour flight to a fucking desert?
Y
ou can get more or less any kind of exotic fruit you like.
Even apples?
How about oranges?
Man-dar-ins?
Bananas?
Wow - you must be so proud.
Dragons, lemonades, soursop, abiu, jackfruit, abiu (the best fruit in existence IMO tastes exactly like creme caramel).
Dragons don't really exist. That was just a story by JRR Tolkien. I know they made a screen version of his book but you have to remember that it wasn't a factual documentary, it was a film. Make-believe. Fantasy. Perhaps you were drunk and seeing little dragons flying over the desert? Big mad hallucinations? Anyway, tell us more about these 'lemonade' fruits? Do they come bottled or canned?
As for those other things you listed, neither I nor anybody else reading this ever heard of them.
You're probably making it all up to fatten out your basic argument which appears to be:
'
My county's better than yours - nyah-nah-nah-nah-nyah..'
You can't really compare a giant desert to a beautiful Nordic country, you complete fizz-bag. Especially not a Nordic country listed for the last six years as offering the world's highest quality of life standards which include: the world's finest FREE education standards, the world's best FREE healthcare, and the current Number One place to be for the sheer happiness we feel about how everything works, is clean, is safe, is wonderful, and keeps us busting the records in everything we do, making us happier and happier every passing day.
Australia?
Rolf Harris, Kylie Minogue, INXS (
with that dead guy who hung himself with his leather belt while trying to ejaculate (or at least that's what they said: auto-erotic asphyxiation. But if you ask me, I'd say he was hanging himself because he was due to to fly out to Ayer's Rock the next day and couldn't cope with the sheer dreariness of it all)). He'd rather be dead than queue up for an hour and then pay ten dollars to look at a few apples and a mandarin on a white-linen covered table with some bloke standing behind it with a big grin on his chops and a dozen wine bottle corks hanging off the brim of his cowboy hat.
And your most famous ever film is '
Priscilla - Queen Of The Desert'.
What more can I say?
