Last time I met Shane was in Cait O'Riordan's place off Wicklow Street one night. A gang of us went over to hers for an after party for some gig or other and shortly after we arrived, Shane woke up and stumbled out of the bedroom half dressed and in a mess. He sat down and cut a few lines and offered one to me, which I declined. As the other guests all accepted a line, Shane poured his whole bag onto the table.
It was a terrible sight, this wasn't the rock and roll dream - this was the hangover after years of abuse.
I stuck around a while and eventually couldn't stomach all the fawning and drunken bullshit and had to leave. It was the arse end of a hard life of boozing and getting wasted. Not drunk, tipsy, or a bit giggly: but fucked up. Completely. That was in the mid-90's and Shane's speech was very difficult to understand and when he spoke, these arses gathered around him just agreed with whatever he came out with, even if he was barely there himself. I left and went home feeling rotten. Here was a man of so much raw unbridled talent, surrounded by sycophants at a time when (thankfully) we weren't all taking selfies and posting them on the internet for the street credibility.
Still made me sick to see how these parasites were feeding off his shattered life, encouraging him to go even further once the nose-party began. I'd imagine he was well used to all that and more after a life in the music business swimming with the sharks on the international scene.
Rock and roll on those terms isn't cool - it's deplorable, vile, inhumane, horrible.
The pair of them took the same path from their youth into adulthood, trying to exorcise the ghosts inside but for different reasons. His was born of the punk movement at a time of huge transition in the UK and she from a Catholic Irish background in middle class Glenageary. Her path was spiritual, questioning everything about Irish hypocrisy and the church at the cornerstone. His was with the lifestyle that came with being a modern bard, singing the historic songs and rewriting Irish history to include the seven drunken nights on the rocky road to Dublin while Sinead was grappling with the trauma of childhood abuse and neglect.
Both were clearly in a lot of pain in a place where there's little sensitivity or support.
I first met Sinead on a long bus ride from Dublin up to northern Derry for the screening of a film which starred a young actress named Emer McCourt. The film was called 'Hush A Bye Baby' and Sinead had a part in it too. Emer was in a relationship with a Belfast singer, Mark Nixon (he recently published a book called 'Much Loved' which became a global hit and he made a fortune) and we all piled in to head up to see Emer's big moment.
It was a weird night and lots of crazy things happened in a very short time after the film ended and before we boarded the bus back home. The booze at the heart of it all, as usual. The hard drinking and smoking and sing-song started in before we even reached the border and the bus was stopped and searched, the whole forty or fifty of us dumped out onto the roadside. But they let us pass without too much hassle and the party continued as we drove south. Everyone swapping seats and mingling and mixing things up. I sat next to Sinead and she was staring quietly out the window into the darkness. I tried to start a conversation but I could see she was jaded, probably burned out by all the attention going her way when the movie star Emer was getting little of it.
She was mostly silent all the way down to Dublin, so I didn't bother her with small talk, we shared cigarettes and drank a little wine. This was before her big break came along and I suppose she was wondering what effect the movie would have on her music career. She had a full head of hair back then and was surprisingly small and compact a person. But she certainly had an aura around her, her presence was palpable: her doe-eyed curiosity belied a mind clearly overtaxed with personal trauma and troubles of her own. Next time I met her was with BP Fallon in Temple Bar in the early 90's - head shaved and Doc Martin's boots making her appear even smaller than she already was.
en.wikipedia.org
Statues of both will likely appear. Streets named after them out in the sprawling suburbs of modern Ireland. Television shows and candid camera shots never seen before. Murals on the facades of crumbing Georgian buildings, and plaques on the houses they were born into. Ireland's a maudlin country like that: she hates you when you're alive and doing what you have to do, but after you're no longer any sort of threat, the shallow feigning of care and affection starts in and gives your arse a rash.
Rank hypocrisy, two-faced
don't do as I do - do as I tell you type bullshit.
Last night certainly set a lot people to tears after hearing the news. It certainly did me, and I played a few favourites with tears in my eyes. Without her prompt that ill-fated night on American TV with the photo of the pope her Mam had framed on the wall of the family home (she took it with her - how audacious was that? She knew what she was going to do - and she did it. It started a tsunami of hate towards her across the globe, but I recall the moment and in retrospect I kind of guessed that now that the doors had been kicked in, what were we going to drag out into the light of day?
That was the watershed moment and the work still goes on. The prisons are bulging at the seams with rancid priests and brothers, merciless sisters and worse. It was going to happen anyway, yes - but she took the first steps and paid the highest price there is out there: hate, loathing, fear, and all of it piled on to her tiny shoulders while trying to understand herself and her experiences with the church and state schools.
She did Ireland a massive favour that night, nothing could ever have been the same after that. She did what grown men several times her size were afraid to do: take the bull by the horns and grapple with it until it fell. And fall it did, a lot of it onto her shoulders.
Hers is a life we'll all remember as we grow old, she was the dawning of a new era of understanding how our society works, and indeed how it doesn't too. I remain grateful for her courage, her honesty, and her broken self.