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I use precisely NONE of the listed services.



DIY



Not particularly: I eat very well, but not the usual routine of meals most people are accustomed to.

I eat a late supper, usually a few hours before sleeps; that's what works for me.
Coffee for breakfast (these days it's instant - usually, doctor's orders) and some juice.
No time or interest for lunch.
Evening time: prepare and cook chosen supper, mix a Bellini, take sauna, eat, sleep - sometimes alone.



Nope, I don't shoplift - a mark like that? On my record? Are you completely fucking stupid?
Petty theft is for the idiots, and the desperate, but neither can avoid the law: all shops will prosecute, cops will be called, you will be escorted out of the mall in cuffs, your sins laid bare. The courts will process your case and it will involve proportionate penalties. No matter your social level, you will be penalized according to your income/wealth.

This in formation will be available via your record to a number of institutions, and you can't access it to alter or delete it.

Steal for kicks? Police/Court/Probation services.
Steal to feed the kids? Police/Social services/Court/Probation services.
Steal because you were all fucked up on drugs? Police/Social services/court/Probation services.
Steal habitually? Police/social services/court/Probation services.

Community services can arrange placements at a number of points:

Free food lines.
Courtyard maintenance services around (non-private) semi-state public housing.
Roadways and motorways general services.
Public transport cleaning services.
Roads and pavements maintenance.
Parks and green spaces.
Clean-up operations after large-scale public events.

Plus many more positions: one will be chosen for you if you don't choose for yourself.

So you see: petty theft of any sort will not be tolerated.
Maybe you should update you tag-line accordingly, you stupid cunt.
You can't have your usual strop.. my tag-line [sic] are exactly the words you posted here, verbatim. And the meaning was clear - you're nothing more than a common thief

And please don't pretend that you're worried about the social services clamping down on you 🤣

I'm sure you service yourself more than once a day.



To whom?



What?



Almost?

By design or by chance?

Which brand of store is it?

Tesco?
Bashir Singh's Cornershop & Off License?
Lidl/Aldi?
Dunne's Stores?
Other?

The one that made me laugh is the Indian/Pakistani/whatever Asian food takeaway in upper Ballyfermot. The Dad ran the joint and his son was second in command. They disliked each other intensely and there were always rows between the two of them during business hours. The locals thought them hilarious. Then they had a serious scrap and the son resigned. The Dad kept on the business as usual. Then the son opened another takeaway NEXT DOOR to his Dad's shop, and called it by the same name.



They had even worse scraps, sometimes spilling out onto the street and their respective shops wrecked by each other.

They're still there, still fighting, still with the yelling and screaming, and still ripping off each other's recipes on the listed menu items.

I wanted to visit when I was home last September, but events didn't allow for it.



I learned to earn my money from a very young age.
I chose drums: not a cheap option for a kid, even a pair of sticks cost a week's wages on the paper round back then.



Nope, the only time I hear my actual name outside the family home is at the airport security desk on arrival.

Everyone else calls me Mowl.

But it happens all the time in Finland, and I enjoy it - in fact, I reinforce their off-pronunciation and tell them they're bang on.
I've been 'Dai-Heeti, Deity, Die-tee', and on one occasion 'Taig'.
That one was on an envelope sent to me by a local business with whom I spoke to an assistant of by phone; I spelled out my name verbally and that's what she came back with. Oh, and my second name? O'Lerig.

Taig O'Lerig.

You have to laugh.

I did.
 
I'm a pillar of the local community, Jimmy.

That's what comes of being an attractive personality with lots to offer.
Everyone knows me, everyone wants to be my friend, they greet me with a variety of pronunciations of my name every passing day.
It makes me laugh, and they think it's because I'm happy to see them, so we all win.

Taking silly childish risks like petty theft is for silly and childish idiots who get a full-on fright of their lives knowing their fate is in someone else's hands.
Even mine: back in the day (in my counter-jihad days in the Finnish language school) I'd be told who was who and who did what.
This information was not open or available to anyone below the level of senior/permanent staff - no part-timers.

On the flip side?

Neither have I ever been robbed of anything in all the years/decades I've lived here. I've lost expensive phones and they were always handed in to either the cops or the city 'Lost & Found' services. Same with a lost wallet. I had a bike returned after it was robbed: I reported it and gave in the serial number and type/description. Three weeks later I received an email that my bicycle was at the local police station. Perfect condition. Nothing missing or altered. Some fool took it to get home, then dumped it. Someone phones it in, it was collected, put into storage, an email issued, I came and collected it.

I rarely double-lock my windows and doors.
My apartment is accessible via the fire escape and roof walkways.
But anyone trying it would be spotted a mile off, so I don't worry about it.
Nobody really does, burglary isn't very common in the cities.
It'll definitely get you jail time if you're done for it, no question.

How about you?

Ever been caught robbing slabs from the cornershop and running for it?
Calling Pornthip Nugoyin a Paki-bastard?
Slipping a bag of Tayto into your pocket when he turns to get your bag of shag tobacco?

Of course, claiming the dole when you're really just a lazy cunt who refuses to work or do anything productive is a crime, but only if they catch you working. It doesn't seem to matter if you spend your days sitting on your hole blogging to complete strangers about all manner of shit.

But from a moral point of view?

Parasitical, leech-like, utterly useless, and totally non-gnationalistic.

Of shopping.

Is must.
 
What's there to be patriotic about concerning Ireland anyway? It's a shithole for all but small, connected cliques, e.g. farmers, developers, auctioneers, solicitors, RTE workers etc. A bunch of self-serving spivs to boot.

Fuck Ireland, it's a kip if you're not connected. The only folks who hold romantic views of this country are 10th generation Yanks and Aussies who've never even visited the place, let alone having lived here.
 
What's there to be patriotic about concerning Ireland anyway?

I've tried for many years to find things to be proud of, but it's a pointless pursuit for any working class Irish person.

Ireland's a bitch: she lies, she cheats, she fucks around and has absolutely no pride whatsoever when it comes to the greasy till.

I don't miss anything about the place bar the family home and Phoenix Park, where I spent a lot of my youth.

I spent a lot of my childhood over the back wall investigating trains brought in to the shunting depot and the trains passing at night were a soundtrack to my life.

Now the depot is highly secured with alarms and powerful flood-lights that start up when a badger runs across the lines, or a bird lands in front of a spotlight.

The park too is no longer safe, what with the tents all over the place and the homeless washing in the Furry Glen pond.

Nothing lasts for long in Ireland.

It's a shithole for all but small, connected cliques, e.g. farmers, developers, auctioneers, solicitors, RTE workers etc. A bunch of self-serving spivs to boot.

If you're in with the right crowd, life's easy - if not, you're on your own.

Fuck Ireland, it's a kip if you're not connected.

Exactemont.

The only folks who hold romantic views of this country are 10th generation Yanks and Aussies who've never even visited the place, let alone having lived here.

My family has been splintered by Ireland: all of us left for lives abroad, and my Mam actually considered this a great result. That we were strong and educated enough to make it abroad rather than go through what she and my father went through trying to raise us on a bus-driver's income.

Like many old Irish, she thinks making it in America is wonderful - same applied to England.
She's confused by Finland, but she's of an age where Finland was never even mentioned.
Like all the Nordic countries: they told us nothing about their many successes in school.
I had to find it all out for myself, but when I did?
I knew I landed in the right place at the right time.
Now it's paying off in spades and I couldn't be much happier, really.
In tune - fuck Ireland, fuck her institutions, fuck her bad debts, fuck her sleazy allegiances, and fuck her glorious dead.

Jambo can have it - all of it.
The shit, the sleaze, the debts, the lies, the rain, the cold and the damp, the endless ocean winds, Storm Dave, RTE, CIE, and the FCA.
 
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The Mowl is a patriotic Mowl to the Mowl's life and times.
I'm in it for me and me alone.
I don't pretend to care about my country of birth like twats of Jambo's confused state of mind.
Claims to be a patriot, a gnationalist, but for what I doubt he even knows himself.
If he was born in Guatemala, he'd probably be wrapped in their flag.
Same applies to England: he'd be waving their flag not knowing why he's so proud.
He can't even say what it is he's so nationalistic about, and I've asked him multiple times.

There are many Irish just as dumb as he is, they also wrap themselves in the tricolour and scream at the football matches.
They say it's the best little country in the world but then again they've never lived anywhere else.
I've tried telling the likes of Jimmy D what's really happening up here in the Nordic regions, but he still thinks Ireland's better.

You can't argue or reason with that sort of brick-headed stupidity.
So I don't bother any more: I just laugh at the sorry fucker and his miserable little routine he calls life.
It'll dawn on him eventually that he should have got up and left instead of sitting in front of his laptop all day and night.
What he's trying to sell doesn't even have a customer base to appeal to.
What the fuck he's so proud of remains a mystery, so I leave him to it.
I just drop in to laugh at the twat - he thinks he's so smart, but look at his reality?
Fucked.
Up.
 
lol All this time and neither of the dull Daves have the slightest clue what (ethno)nationalism is 🤣

They just keep on repeating a caricature over and over in their heads - which is how they "think" about absolutely everything
 
lol All this time and neither of the dull Daves have the slightest clue what (ethno)nationalism is 🤣

Couldn't care much less than I already do, Jimmy.
Keep your nationalism - Ireland just loves a willing fool.

They just keep on repeating a caricature over and over in their heads - which is how they "think" about absolutely everything

I never tire of slagging Ireland off, much less the twats who are proud of her - but don't know why.
They're usually the ones shouting the loudest while the smartest are going through security check at the airport, leaving for a better life elsewhere.

What DO you love about Ireland, Shay?
The weather?
The football team?
The perennial two-party state?
Westlife?
Ronan Keating?
The dole system?
The eternal winter of your soul being eaten away by it all?

Whatever it is, it's all in your head - you stupid fucking cunt.
 
The Mowl is a patriotic Mowl to the Mowl's life and times.
I'm in it for me and me alone.
I don't pretend to care about my country of birth like twats of Jambo's confused state of mind.
Claims to be a patriot,
I'm somewhat unusual in that I criticise the use of that term for a nationalist (as always, you never have a clue what you're talking about)

a gnationalist, but for what I doubt he even knows himself.
If he was born in Guatemala, he'd probably be wrapped in their flag.
Same applies to England: he'd be waving their flag not knowing why he's so proud.
He can't even say what it is he's so nationalistic about, and I've asked him multiple times.

There are many Irish just as dumb as he is, they also wrap themselves in the tricolour and scream at the football matches.
They say it's the best little country in the world but then again they've never lived anywhere else.
I've tried telling the likes of Jimmy D what's really happening up here in the Nordic regions, but he still thinks Ireland's better.

You can't argue or reason with that sort of brick-headed stupidity.
So I don't bother any more: I just laugh at the sorry fucker and his miserable little routine he calls life.
It'll dawn on him eventually that he should have got up and left instead of sitting in front of his laptop all day and night.
What he's trying to sell doesn't even have a customer base to appeal to.
What the fuck he's so proud of remains a mystery, so I leave him to it.
I just drop in to laugh at the twat - he thinks he's so smart, but look at his reality?
Fucked.
Up.
 
I've tried for many years to find things to be proud of, but it's a pointless pursuit for any working class Irish person.

Ireland's a bitch: she lies, she cheats, she fucks around and has absolutely no pride whatsoever when it comes to the greasy till.

I don't miss anything about the place bar the family home and Phoenix Park, where I spent a lot of my youth.

I spent a lot of my childhood over the back wall investigating trains brought in to the shunting depot and the trains passing at night were a soundtrack to my life.

Now the depot is highly secured with alarms and powerful flood-lights that start up when a badger runs across the lines, or a bird lands in front of a spotlight.

The park too is no longer safe, what with the tents all over the place and the homeless washing in the Furry Glen pond.

Nothing lasts for long in Ireland.



If you're in with the right crowd, life's easy - if not, you're on your own.



Exactemont.



My family has been splintered by Ireland: all of us left for lives abroad, and my Mam actually considered this a great result.
That we were strong and educated enough to
I didn't know you were a comedian 😆

make it abroad rather than go through what she and my father went through trying to raise us on a bus-driver's income.
Like many old Irish, she thinks making it in America is wonderful - same applied to England.
She's confused by Finland, but she's of an age where Finland was never even mentioned.
Like all the Nordic countries: they told us nothing about their many successes in school.
I had to find it all out for myself, but when I did?
I knew I landed in the right place at the right time.
Now it's paying off in spades and I couldn't be much happier, really.
In tune - fuck Ireland, fuck her institutions, fuck her bad debts, fuck her sleazy allegiances, and fuck her glorious dead.

Jambo can have it - all of it.
The shit, the sleaze, the debts, the lies, the rain, the cold and the damp, the endless ocean winds, Storm Dave, RTE, CIE, and the FCA.
 
As Tina Turner once said, what's love got to do with it?

In your case, herpes.

I'm somewhat unusual

Yeah, really: you're some fucking tulip, Jimmy.

in that I criticise the use of that term for a nationalist

Nobody cares.

Because Ireland's a fucking dump.

as always, you never have a clue what you're talking about)

What are you so proud of?

Nationalists are supposed to be proud of something - what's yours?

No answer?

Grand so, we'll move along.

I didn't know you were a comedian 😆

There's so much you don't know and will never know, Jimmy.

That's what comes of living in one room and staring at your laptop all day and night.

I bet the smells around you are banging like bells.
 
In your case, herpes.



Yeah, really: you're some fucking tulip, Jimmy.



Nobody cares.

Because Ireland's a fucking dump.



What are you so proud of?

Nationalists are supposed to be proud of something - what's yours?

No answer?

Grand so, we'll move along.
There's so much you don't know and will never know, Jimmy.
What's Pythagoras' theorem?

That's what comes of living in one room and staring at your laptop all day and night.

I bet the smells around you are banging like bells.
 
In your case, herpes.



Yeah, really: you're some fucking tulip, Jimmy.



Nobody cares.

Because Ireland's a fucking dump.



What are you so proud of?
Nationalists are supposed to be proud of something - what's yours?
You don't know what nationalism is (after all this time 🙄) as you've been told, and demonstrated, repeatedly

You see the world only through a lens of caricature, and you cannot escape from that (it's an IQ thing)

No answer?

Grand so, we'll move along.



There's so much you don't know and will never know, Jimmy.

That's what comes of living in one room and staring at your laptop all day and night.

I bet the smells around you are banging like bells.
 
🎵 What's Pythagoras' theorem got to do with it, got to do with it.. 🎵

So we add Tina Turner to the list:

Tina Turner
Cyndi Lumper
KPop
Susanna Huffs
The Bangles

and, er.. Oasis.

Guess which one's a spoof?

What's Pythagoras' theorem?

I couldn't be much happier for the square on the hypotenuse, to be completely honest.
Nor the fact that it's equal to the sum of the other two sides.
I'd take it out for dinner and a show, but I'm too busy.
Pythagoras can kiss Jambo's stinky arse-hole.

I'm an artist, not a mathematician - regardless I had the above theorem slapped and punched into me by an Irish math teacher.
Eventually I slapped him back, on the last day I ever met the cunt.
A slap he'll never forget.

You don't know what nationalism is (after all this time 🙄) as you've been told, and demonstrated, repeatedly

I know exactly what it is - and you don't - that much is 100% apparent to even the most casual reader.

You see the world only through a lens of caricature, and you cannot escape from it (it's an IQ thing)

I see the world at large from up here in the world's happiest country, Jimmy.

You live in Ireland.

And you love it!

Pahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
 
So we add Tina Turner to the list:

Tina Turner
Cyndi Lumper
KPop
Susanna Huffs
The Bangles

and, er.. Oasis.

Guess which one's a spoof?
I couldn't be much happier for the square on the hypotenuse, to be completely honest.
Nor the fact that it's equal to the sum of the <square of> the other two sides.
Bzzt.. Wrong!

It's an equation of Euclidean geometry

What's Euclidean?

I'd take it out for dinner and a show, but I'm too busy.
Pythagoras can kiss Jambo's stinky arse-hole.

I'm an artist, not a mathematician - regardless I had the above theorem slapped and punched into me by an Irish math teacher.
Eventually I slapped him back, on the last day I ever met the cunt.
A slap he'll never forget.



I know exactly what it is - and you don't - that much is 100% apparent to even the most casual reader.



I see the world at large from up here in the world's happiest country, Jimmy.

You live in Ireland.

And you love it!

Pahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
 
Bzzt.. Wrong!

It's an equation of Euclidean geometry

What's Euclidean?

So you're still in a huff with Daemon for banning you for a week on that thread?

Do you think he'll miss you or what, Jimmy?

Do you think the other twats on the site even noticed that you're not posting anything for the last few days?
 
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