Being born Irish is just random chance.
In my next life I intend being born as East 17's personal assassin.
But tell me, do you love Finland? Are you proud of Finland?
Oh, but yes - of course I do.
What's not to love?
Excellent quality of life.
Most beautiful women on the planet.
Lots to do, lots to see, lots to eat, and lots to fuck.
It's miles away from Ireland - which is cool.
Makes Ireland look like a gypsy caravan park.
We have a shit football team.
We have great ice hockey teams.
Not too many Paddies around.
Rarely rains.
Loves the Mowl and everything he does.
Finns haven't been on the moon.
The Finns prefer a nice hot sauna (like the one I'm about to take).
There's no Jimmy Dawson types around.
Even less Swordids.
Average beer, but then I prefer a Bellini.
Excellent pay grades for entrepreneurs.
Wonderful standards in everything built in Finland.
No Irish need apply.
No dogs either.
We'll settle for a few die-hard imports who think they can handle it.
Miles away from twats like you.
And you're 100% guaranteed to
NEVER hear East17 on the radio.
How about you, Seamus?
What's your favourite thing Irish - speaking as an unemployed gnationalist?