Culchies
- Thread starter Mowl
- Start date
Zero posts on the P.ie thread since Monday. Nobody on Politics.ie cares about Val Martin...that can't be good for someone with such an inflated ego.
Were it on Arsefield's it'd easily be the largest thread on there by now, full of people kissing Val's arse and telling him it tastes like ice cream.
Anderson: "You go Val, you're the best!!"
Dan: "The second most intelligent man in Ireland."
Swordid: "Val will show them, the revolution shall commence"
Wolf: "You show em Val, fight the system!!
"
Jambo: "Val Martin, the greatest thing since What's the Story Morning Glory"
Popular Irish dissident Conservative commentator Val Martin running in this General Election.
Gosh you really do have it in for Val Martin, what exactly is your problem with him? He is a complete and utter prick is one part of the problem.
politics.ie
Were it on Arsefield's it'd easily be the largest thread on there by now, full of people kissing Val's arse and telling him it tastes like ice cream.
Anderson: "You go Val, you're the best!!"
Dan: "The second most intelligent man in Ireland."
Swordid: "Val will show them, the revolution shall commence"
Wolf: "You show em Val, fight the system!!
"Jambo: "Val Martin, the greatest thing since What's the Story Morning Glory"
roc_abilly
Member
I wonder what the Irish Freedom party who he is supposed to be representing think of all this. I mean you saw how their party graphic designers went to all that trouble to photoshop a decent suit and a haircut onto his face for his election poster, and I notice they even got busy with their filters and blurs to try and tidy up his face. I.e. They obviously want a certain image projected, to represent their party and brand in a certain light. What on earth are they going to make of him "going rogue" like he has done?
Mowl
Member
We all know that Val loves to dress up and act out his infamous 'funny jokes' whenever he can. This is Val dressed up as a pig. Back row, second from the left. He was in the Boy Scouts for many years and he loved going camping. All that frolicking about in the muck and dirt made him feel right at home. Boy Scouts earn their badges by tackling minor problems in novel ways under the tutelage of their elders. Things like starting a campfire without matches or a lighter. Catching wasps in jam jars to torture and kill. Butterflies too.
After many failed attempts, Val eventually graduated from Boy Scout school to become a fully-fledged pig.
Just a small one, but still. He loved cracking heads and used his nightstick liberally and with great relish. He was renowned on the beat in and around Dublin and they called him 'Lugs Martin' because of his big dumbo ears and the slight but noticeable stink of slurry off him. All these years later and so many heads cracked, he had culchie retirement party attended by a few other culchie pigs, and so Val took up slurry farming on a full time basis. Little known fact: Val's the first man in Ireland to build and maintain his own Shitting Ditch, a feat which the Greens have taken on as part of their current manifesto in today's general election. Val puit years of back-breaking labour into it and it's now even bigger than his little house down by the lower barn where the cows live.
Any odds on whether he'll be the President one day?