What a fucking plonker.
Jimmy, this is fucking
FINLAND - not
Belfast (which you've never been to) not
Kildare Street (which you weren't at yesterday) and not Glasgow either. It's Finland, where English is the third language. If I went to the local Suomalainen Kirjakauppa and asked for The Daily Mirror, The Irish Star, The Daily Express, or The Evening Herald, they'd look at me wondering what fucking planet I just arrived from, you complete fucking nitwit.
But I'll tell you one thing the Irish newspapers are good for.
Back in 2016, The Irish Times released three reissues of the days papers from the weekend of Easter 1916, on toned off-white paper which looked period, with the old typesetting, and which featured every detail in the original issue for collectors like me to enjoy. I was sent a gift of the complete collection of the three centennial issues and after reading them decided I'd try a wee stunt to earn some extra cash.
I bought nine plain white picture frames from IKEA and took them apart to stress the wooden frames (with an angle grinder) and make them look really old and battered. Then I stained the front pages with coffee and grains from that morning's pot and stressed the pages to age them. I took a few pictures and next time I was in town dropped into the most popular Irish pub nearby central station and asked for the owner, who was up in his office. I showed him the shots and asked was he interested in buying them for the pub and he obviously liked them but was humming and hawing about a price. So I told him that the two other Irish pubs in the city wanted them and he'd have to decide now if he wanted to take them. We fixed a price and he handed me a cheque.
Later that day I called by the other two Irish pubs and did the same.
Both pubs bought copies too, but of lesser pages than the three front pages the first pub bought.
I walked away with a handy cash sum with which I bought myself lots of treats, money for nothing.
So yeah: newspapers may be a dying media, especially when the news is 100 years old.
The English papers simply don't make it to Finland anyway, you dumb cunt.
Which basically means that every news-site/outlet that you use online, are also available to me online.
The only major difference is that I don't hang around the sewers you frequent.
I don't speak your anti-white race-realist bullshit crank-language.
It's Belfast and Dublin that's on fire, Jimmy - not Helsinki.
We're having a fine time in the sun and enjoying absolutely no stabbings whatsoever.
Which is probably news to you, you terminal moron.