Why not give Marianne Kelly a go?
She's only ten or fifteen years older but sure that hardly matters: every woman tends to go south around middle age.
Tits like bags of water.
Legs turned purple from the burst blood vessels.
Deep wrinkles in the neck and shoulders from a lifetime of bras trying to hold up floppy tits no one wants anything to do with.
Belly flaps too - all those times Declan told her to get dressed, he's taking her out to McDonald's for a treat.
Like an alcoholic does at the bar buying a round: he orders a couple of cheeseburgers to munch on while making his actual order. Two bites put them down, and two more to swallow them.
Thinks
he's Cathal Crotty.
Another stumpy little culchie coward.
They're probably battering the shite out of him already.
His hole's going to feel like a train just ran through it - which I'm sure Declan would love too.
