Origins

[Mowl]

Nope. You're not

Oh, but I am.

I don't know why you get yourself so riled up shortly before your bedtime..

Hah hah!

You're kidding me?

Concluding my day's exchanges with you always has me busting a nut at how glad I am not to on that feckin' island with twats like you.

i.e. double Bellinis,

Err, a Bellini is already quite large, Jambo - have you no sophistication at all?

industrial strength spliffs

Hardly: I smoke as much in two evenings as many bone-heads smoke in one spliff.

I'm a very cheap date, Jambo: alcohol hits me very hard, always has - same with weed.

So it takes very little for me loosen up.

Very little.

High metabolism, you see.

and another watch of Good Morning Vietnam!

Great movie, that - always makes me laugh.

In fact, you remind me of someone in it.

This guy:

and Louis Theroux's documentary on "white supremacists"

Actually, I did see that one.
Months ago - I forget what it's about.
Maybe I'll look it up and watch it again.
Theroux's a gas, but his best days are long since behind him.

(before I pass out)

You should limit it to two slabs of beer per night maximum.
I mean, I know I'm lucky - my metabolism is so fast I almost wish I could lend you some zest and good humour.
But then again I don't actually like you and sort of hope you die shouting and roaring.
You can shout and roar about anything you like, though.
I'm not a complete bastard.
Now am I?

 

[Mowl]

While I'm watching Louis Theroux later, here's one for you:

No Risk No Reward

'AFRICAN GANG SETS UP 'TENT CITY' IN DUBLIN PARK'

 

[AN4]

I'm going to reply to your posts Mowl and I'd quite like to chat with you tonight. But I'm actually preparing a meal myself right now and we both know that you'll be passed out, or in the process of, quite soon (AKA "Mowl's Bedtime")

 

[Mowl]

I'm going to reply to your posts Mowl

Oh, I'm quite sure you are.

I understand you need some time to reflect on what I've imparted this fine evening.

and I'd quite like to chat with you tonight.

I ain't your tiddlywinks friendo, Buddy-boy.

But I'm actually preparing a meal myself right now

Walking down to the chipper and then putting your fish & chips up your jumper before sprinting back home to eat them while they're hot isn't 'cooking'.

Neither is grabbing a frozen pizza out of the freezer and lashing it into the cooker for ten minutes.

and we both know that i'll be passed out, or in the process of, quite soon

Try drinking a glass of water at least once every day.

Only water, mind - no fluoride.

Like our water.

Crystal clean, almost freezing cold/near boiling-point hot, no additives, no preservatives, just water - clean and true.

(AKA "Mowl's Bedtime")

Another lifestyle issue our imported friends from abroad find very difficult and even irritating is that we wake so early and begin our day long before you guys have even rolled over. This way the days are that much longer, and we get more light, more sun, more air, and more everything else that's good for us. Then in the evenings, when everything's done, we like to sauna. Then eat. Then relax. And then sleep.

Slaying a tray of Dutch Gold early one Tuesday evening isn't a way of life up here.
But a cold beer (or a cool Bellini) while in the sauna is perfectly acceptable.

So my bedtime isn't like the Irish one any more.
Mine's more Finnish - a trait I've acquired having lived longer in Finland than I ever did in Ireland.

So if you're going to eat, try to eat something that feeds your brain a bit more.
Today's spelling errors were - as you well know - very serious errors.
They belie a drift away from rigid attention to detail.
This makes the Mowl worry.
Stop drinking so much.
Have a glass of water.
Then go fuck yourself.

 

[AN4]

Oh, I'm quite sure you are.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day (but not Mowl)

I'm about to impart some truthful wisdom on you (after I've digested my meal) but you won't hear it - because that's not what you do

I understand you need some time to reflect on what I've imparted this fine evening.



I ain't your tiddlywinks friendo, Buddy-boy.



Walking down to the chipper and then putting your fish & chips up your jumper before sprinting back home to eat them while they're hot isn't 'cooking'.

Neither is grabbing a frozen pizza out of the freezer and lashing it into the cooker for ten minutes.



Try drinking a glass of water at least once every day.

Only water, mind - no fluoride.

Like our water.

Crystal clean, almost freezing cold/near boiling-point hot, no additives, no preservatives, just water - clean and true.



Another lifestyle issue our imported friends from abroad find very difficult and even irritating is that we wake so early and begin our day long before you guys have even rolled over. This way the days are that much longer, and we get more light, more sun, more air, and more everything else that's good for us. Then in the evenings, when everything's done, we like to sauna. Then eat. Then relax. And then sleep.

Slaying a tray of Dutch Gold early one Tuesday evening isn't a way of life up here.
But a cold beer (or a cool Bellini) while in the sauna is perfectly acceptable.

So my bedtime isn't like the Irish one any more.
Mine's more Finnish - a trait I've acquired having lived longer in Finland than I ever did in Ireland.

So if you're going to eat, try to eat something that feeds your brain a bit more.
Today's spelling errors were - as you well know - very serious errors.
They belie a drift away from rigid attention to detail.
This makes the Mowl worry.
Stop drinking so much.
Have a glass of water.
Then go fuck yourself.

 

[AN4]

Oh, but I am.



Hah hah!

You're kidding me?

Concluding my day's exchanges with you always has me busting a nut at how glad I am not to on that feckin' island with twats like you.



Err, a Bellini is already quite large, Jambo - have you no sophistication at all?

Hardly: I smoke as much in two evenings as many bone-heads smoke in one spliff.

I'll tell you a story the Mowl..

In September, not the last one, the one before that, we had here in ireland I suppose what you'd call an Indian summer

So I was going somewhere one day (in late September) and it was such a nice day that I decided that I'd walk to the train station from my house, which is about a forty minute or so walk, and go by train..

By the time I got to the train station I was pretty heated up and so I sat down on a bench in a small shelter on the platform, not for shelter from the wind and rain in winter, as it would normally be used, but because the Sun was splitting the stones and I was hot..

I see that the next train on the electronic timetable is about twenty minutes away <sigh> so I roll a smoke and start smoking it and while I'm doing that and waiting for the train, I notice that there's a kid standing beside me and then he asks me - Gotta a smoke, mista?

You used to smoke didn't you Mowl? (before your heart attack) so you probably know that it's a little annoying when random strangers ask you for a smoke when they see you smoking one..

I replied - No, it's a rollie. The kid, who was in school uniform, replied - I need the tobacco

At that point, I was just thinking to myself that I should tell this kid to fuck off and then he says - For this. Opening the palm of his hand and in it is a little bar of hash

Quick thinkingly, I said - Take a seat son

So he sat down beside me on the bench, I handed him the pouch of tobacco, he didn't need papers, he had his own (long) ones and he got to making the joint, quite skillfully I might add

So I was chatting to him and he seemed a little bothered with school and stuff (I presume he was bunking off) and I tried to be understanding and we smoked the joint together

I hadn't actually smoked in quite a while and I admit that I was taking some long, hard drags on that puppy and when the train pulled in I got up to go but he was going nowhere. Tbh, the joint wasn't even finished and I was tempted to say, ahh, yeah, I'll wait till the next one too but I felt a little bit guilty that he had been generous enough with his hash (for some tobacco) and I should just leave him to it..

I've never been bad with cannabis, not paranoid much but after I had got on the train I did start to feel a little bit paranoid, I mean, I could hear every conversation that was being had on the twenty meter carriage, know what I mean?

Then, after only a few stops later (I was close to my destination) I get off the train and I'm walking (about ten minutes) to where I have to go, the Sun still blazing. At this point, I'm having a ball, I'm high as f*ck but my mouth has gone as dry as the Sahara desert. When I get to the shop I can't find water and I ask a shopkeep where it is and he's like - It's right behind you sir

I swear, until about nine or ten PM that night, I was still f*cking stoned

And yeah, it did get me to thinking - If the kids are smoking stuff that strong at such a young age..

I'm a very cheap date, Jambo: alcohol hits me very hard, always has - same with weed.

So it takes very little for me loosen up.

Very little.

High metabolism, you see.



Great movie, that - always makes me laugh.

In fact, you remind me of someone in it.

This guy:





Actually, I did see that one.
Months ago - I forget what it's about.
Maybe I'll look it up and watch it again.
Theroux's a gas, but his best days are long since behind him.



You should limit it to two slabs of beer per night maximum.
I mean, I know I'm lucky - my metabolism is so fast I almost wish I could lend you some zest and good humour.
But then again I don't actually like you and sort of hope you die shouting and roaring.
You can shout and roar about anything you like, though.
I'm not a complete bastard.
Now am I?