News From Finland (The World's Happiest Country)

[Mowl]

https://www.politico.eu/article/vladimir-putin-russia-miscalculated-on-finland-border/

All along the watchtower - there's pretty much fuck all to see bar the wilderness along the eastern front. Finland hasn't manned that border in as long as I can remember, and most of it isn't even fenced, never mind manned on the turrets. It's over 13,000 miles long, so protecting it's a bit of a stretch given Putin's army is already strained and under severe pressure further south.

What is worrying though is where Putin's getting his latest recruits from: by all accounts he's emptying the Russian prisons and offering the prisoners their freedom in return for their services on the front lines in Ukraine. These men aren't militarily trained though, so most come home in body bags. They're all entirely disposable as far as Putin's concerned. Me too. The more of them that get it in the neck, the better I'll sleep.

Finland's ascension to NATO seems to be giving cause for concern though, so we're all watching and waiting to see what he has in mind. Mostly bluster, really. He's not going to send anyone of any value because he knows his history and last time Russian tried it on with Finland was during the Winter War of 1938, when we resolutely trounced them back over the lines even though we were outnumbered ten to one. Finnish soldiers are trained in winter warfare first, and they ski across snow-bound country faster than any tanks or ill-equipped Russian kids out of jail for The Big Party.

Exciting times indeed.

 

[Mowl]

That's Sweden's hangover from the liberal period of the 1960s/1970s when love was free and it felt like summertime all the time.

But Swedes are an isolated lot, they honestly think they've got it all going on. So their self-imposed isolation continues today and they seem to like the African continent more than they like the Scandinavian countries. Good luck to them with that. Me? I prefer the Nordic model. It doesn't mince around like the Swedish blondes do. And the African continent seems to like Sweden too, regardless of the long winters and weird food.

You seem mighty outraged by it, Jambo.

Ever been to any Scandinavian country? Even Denmark? They're pretty happy down there too, but not as much as Finland is. We're the happiest of all contenders and it pleases me greatly to see all the cranks I knew back home asking me why the fuck and how the fuck I'm leaving for Finland years before she was even on the maps. Look at them now? Lots took to the rope, others the high speed car after a bottle of whiskey and fifteen downers. Ireland's on her fucking knees by now and I know how much it kills my haters that - out of all you blogging twats - the Mowl's the only one to clock what was happening and get the fuck out of there bang on time in order to ride the wave that landed me here, living in luxury, surrounded by beauty, safety, efficiency, opportunity and wealth.

They said I was nuts, crazy for leaving over twenty years ago with fuck all to look back at. I wiped the slate clean before getting the fuck out, all my affairs in order and signed off for good. Good fucking riddance. Look at you all now, but? Holy shit. The national debt. Simon fucking Harris. Fine Gael falling apart yet they're still sitting on top of the pile? You have no autonomy. Not even the right to vote any more. Not that it matters, mind you: look at the complete mongs wandering the hallways of Leinster House? Look at what they've done to Dublin? To the entire country? Look at the fucking state of you?

I have it all nailed down up here, and the sacrifices I made back in the day have all paid off multiple times over.

It took prescience and calculation: I made a plan, told nobody around me what I was up to until the bridge was built and the door wide open. I timed it to perfection, getting out just as reality was dawning on you lot that you'd been taken for a fucking ride. All those billions you pissed up the wall? What did you buy with it anyway? Most of the working class kids I know bought cars, then drove them headlong into a brick wall when the bank asked for its money back. All those single Moms with teenage kids? Not all of them are traditional slappers: many of them are the same ones whose husbands took their own lives in the hope that the insurance pay-off would cover the keys to the gaff. Mostly it didn't: they died in vain. Pointlessly. Ignorantly too. So now their wives and children live in tents on O'Connell Street. Eating off the pavement - literally.

And those who set you up for all that bullshit?

Yeps - are still creaming the wages in like it had nothing to do with them; still wandering the corridors of Leinster House dripping saliva and hungry for more. The women and children? Collateral damage, a necessary evil. The two-party state couldn't possibly have been more cold and calculated. And it very much still IS all worked out. They know what they did, they know who's to blame, they know who won and who lost and so long as they apply selective amnesia then the two-party state can live on for a few elections yet: until there are no elections any more because they don't need to kid you into thinking you have any say in what's happening now and what's coming down the road for you later. Those women and children are fucked for life. Utterly fucking fucked. And that's your problem to deal with, not mine.

I worked, I saved, I managed to avoid any expense in doing so, and by the time the bubble burst I was out clean. No ties. No bridges left to burn.

You went on vacation to all the wrong countries, Jambo.

You should have picked somewhere closer to home, anywhere you actually stood a chance in. America? Australia? Canada? Why does it always have to be English speaking countries? What the fuck are Irish people afraid of? Not being in charge? Not having the capacity to see things are done your way? Look at the fucking state of 'your way' anyway? You've been on your knees since the fucking famine. You're as bad as ze Jews STILL banging on about ze hollercause eighty years after the fact. The Famine is another hundred years older, for fuck's sake. The whining out of both of you never fucking ends. Get over it, your descendants did, so what's your fucking problem?

Who the fuck cares about Sweden?

And don't be fucking pretending you do either, Jambo. You don't, you just see a chance to get all worked up and melodramatic about it and you're using it to give your world view some sort of credibility. It doesn't. You know precisely fuck all about Sweden, that's been clear to everyone for years now. You know even less about Finland, but at least you have a point of reference in the Mowl. What you do know about is English-speaking Australia. That's why you and Fish-wipe over on the gay bar site hate each other: he's an Aussie, likely derived from in-bred criminal Irish blood that landed there hundreds of years ago, maybe even the 1840s when the famine started taking its toll. He bossed you around. Told you where the line was. Deleted things he didn't like you saying. Bossed you around some more. And look at you now? I mean, fuck: just look at you?

I suppose I'd be in a rage too if I were in boots like yours.

Suck it up, Kid - there's nothing else on the menu bar some inedible hair-shirts an/or culchie leg on toast.

 

[Mowl]

Is Ireland going ahead with building that 'white water rapids' project with an outdoor all-weather swimming pool and spa facility? Somewhere down along the docks as I recall, a massive vanity project that had a whole bunch of your money flung at it in the hopes that the doors to the state coffers would be well greased in time for all available chancers to grab a few quid?

Here's an idea: there's an underground space beneath Grafton Street which was developed decades back for a planned metro line in the previous century which was never completed. So currently it simply exists under the ground with no purpose. So how about instead trying something a bit more interesting like the French did with their disused metro stations?



Imagine having a facility like this dead centre in the pricey end of town? No skangers for a start - which is exactly what you would have if it was build over ground along the river. Instead you join as a member and pay a fee for occasional use. Along with a large pool you could also insert a few saunas, some steam rooms, a gymnasium, a cafe and restaurant, maybe even a small cinema. A sort of wellness centre? All underground, no natural light or air (or you could put some port-holed windows above on street level so you get a glimpse of natural light from above while pedestrians above could also see what's below them from their point of view) and rather both air and light are supplied/contained/controllable in how they're designed and for how many people at a time?

It'd be miles off the charts in terms of the lame Irish building sector, so instead of hiring locals who'll fuck it all up and run the basic costs away up into the stars, and then sign off on it knowing it's likely to fall apart. Instead, get outside professional help. Hire in the designers used for the Parisian underground project. Or hire in some Finnish tunnel/building people who know what they're doing. Irish navvies could do the labouring but NO Irish person on the board would have the right to shout down any other points of view or techniques. Leave the contracted specialists to do things up to standard. Because they're on contract, they're answerable. If they fuck up and cheat - boot them out.

That way you wouldn't have to wait forty-three years and six tribunals for the case to make it to court: you write it into the contract.

It'd be something entirely different for Ireland and for Dublin.

Unique, full of potential, and a worthy use of space to relieve the ground level of traffic and footfall.

Like here in Helsinki: you can enter the underground in the city centre three kilometers from central station. You can walk all the way from Kaisanieminkatu across to Kamppi in around ten minutes. Lots of shops, restaurants, outlets of every description, car parking, access to tram and bus depots, and whatever you're having yourself. It's like a second city, a shadow beneath our feet that bustles with footfall all day every day.

Now, nobodies asking Ireland to replicate Finnish tunneling projects - Finland's been dynamiting downward for over a century. Hence all these bomb shelter studios for musicians and artists. The last major state project was actually in my old studio at Katajanokka. It links directly to the Presidential Palace fifty meters away and the council dug down another fifty meters below even my space, which is already twenty-five meters below terra firma. The vast caverns they hollowed out now house the massive servers for Finland's data processing and broadband delivery to the entire southern region of Finland almost up into the wilds. They don't make mistakes: I used to get letters delivered reminding me about periods of particularly busy dynamiting in advance so we could prepare for it if we were in recording mode. We had a few occasions of digital recorders blanking the discs after particularly large explosions. The air pressure expanding so suddenly causes your ears to pop, and it can also cause what's called 'temporal masking' - a debilitating effect on your aural canal where both extreme high and low frequencies can't be heard that takes a while to recover from. You're effectively deaf to the highs and lows for few hours.

Would an Irish project like that work or would it fail?

Are the Irish copped on enough to see the value of these things in terms of tourism and paying down the national debt?

Some images for your imagination:



An underground swimming pool in Itakeskus (north east of Helsinki)



A competition-standard underground swimming pool in the city centre.



An underground kart-racing circuit, all are welcome.



And our beautiful Temppeliaukio church, also underground, with exceptionally awesome acoustics where the choirs and orchestras sound amazing.

The price per square foot of commercial space in Dublin is ridiculous, so why not expand downwards instead of outwards?

 

[Mowl]

Hard to believe we had twelve centimeters of fresh snow two days ago.

It's now plus nine and I have every window are door wide open to welcome in the coming May Day.

Outlook isn't great for Wednesday but we'll all spill out onto the streets regardless.

Hell of a winter this year - it was everything I expected and it was wonderful.

Now the sun's blazing in the sky, the sheer blue tones are awesome, and there's a handful of snow piles left on the street corners which is melting so fast it'll be completely gone by later this evening. Roll on, Vappu! This is where I'll be at 1800, Tuesday evening:



Havis Amanda, a water fountain down on Market Square by the sea front. The students union have the honour of selecting some of their students to place the white cap onto her head. Once the hat's on - the city and country is free of winter and we hail the oncoming summer by staying out all night partying and dancing. Kaivopuisto is always a full-on festival but so too this year at Suomenlinna, the island fortress out in the bay. A world heritage site and the scene of many epic Finnish battles, the huge cannons still standing will be lit up and there'll be traditional Finnish cook-outs all over the island.



We take the ferry out. It's a sea bus you can sail on with your regular bus pass. Takes around fifteen minutes to get there and the two ferries dock within minutes of each other at either end to keep the traffic of people steady. Along the coastline of the island facing west, we watch the winter sun go down for the last time while barbecuing and drinking.

How about you guys?

Any plans for May Day?

 

[Mowl]

Hyvää vappua kaikille!

It's nineteen degrees out there, the streets are jam-packed full of people wearing colourful clothes and wigs, face-painted, ribbons and bows all over the place, and singing as loud as they can. The shopping centre was like Christmas eve with people buying their fireworks, drinks, traditional snacks, and of course lots of champagne and wine. Unbelievable weather for May Day, the hottest of the last three decades - not a cloud in the sky and no need for a coat or jacket until the sun goes down.

I gotta head out to for the crowning of Havis Amanda and then down to Kaivopuisto for the craic.

Winter's dead - drained of all snow and ice and washed down into the sea.

Summer's here - and it's going to be a hot one by all accounts.

This is the best feeling, the noise and laughter from outside, people barbecuing down on the beach. Some with families and friends, but lots of groups of younger people dressed in their university colours and caps. Someone's cooking steak, it smells delicious. Must be coming from up above on the rooftop party area.

All tomorrow's hangovers will be worn with a smile.

 

[Mowl]

From 2014:

Just reading the story about Michelle Byrne, an Irish mother of three children fined €150.00 for tearing up a flyer for Labour candidate Gerry Sheridan in frustration when he door-stepped her at her family home in Mullingar. Aside from the fact that Sheridan's an obvious buffoon with no concept of reality and a jumped-up view of his own self-importance, that his likes are allowed to door-step people at all is a disgrace.

Illustrated below is a photo of the standard public board erected by the local council in Helsinki for candidates to advertise themselves for the upcoming 2014 European Parliament elections. This is the only means by which candidates are allowed use materials to advertise themselves and their parties. Fly-posting and hiring privately owned bill-boards are not allowed, thereby cutting down on material waste and general eyesore. Door-stepping is almost unheard of in Helsinki. We all live in apartment blocks. In the countryside, houses are tens of miles apart.

That this poor woman has to pay a fine for essentially dismissing Sheridan gives the lie of the general attitude of Irish candidates: pompous, arrogant, self-inflatable, and absolutely shameless.

Keep that in mind when choosing where your vote goes - even if you choose to personally shove yours down Gerry Sheridan's throat.



The Finnish model is crystal clean. Being able to afford more campaign coverage doesn't mean you can. Elections are there for the people to make their own minds up which way they're voting (even if it doesn't matter shit) and every contender has limitations to how much they can throw at their chances of getting elected.

You may set up a speaking/interviewing point in town by applying for a temporary license, and if you get one then you can set up your stall at a designated place where you can address the public about your views. Candidates are NOT allowed to approach people. They can only engage with the public if a citizen wants to talk to them. They set up a stall, a small table usually with a flag to attract attention, and offer flyers to passers by. If there are piles of discarded flyers left without due diligence in cleaning them up for the bin, the candidate will be fined. They won't get a second chance either.

I've stopped to talk to several candidates over the years to discuss their views, and to state my own. The conversation lasts as long as the citizen cares it to, but the candidate may walk away if they choose. The citizen may stand there and continue to speak so long as there's no public disorder rules being flaunted. Like shouting and yelling, threatening, etc. If it's some drunken yob, it's the cops problem to remove them.

You most certainly CANNOT knock on private people's front doors to doorstep them: that'll see you arrested and removed.

You can't fly any posters or otherwise in any place not designated by the law, if you do you will be fined a large fixed penalty.

You can join in television debates, but only by invitation.

You can post videos online at your own expense.

The city erects hundreds of boards/panels like this one at busy points with large footfall, usually around busy junctions for traffic/people. You pay a fee, send in your printed materials, they're either passed or rejected (you cannot include personal views of any sort) and they're maintained by the city until the day of the election, then taken down in the dead of night. If you hang a cardboard poster or two onto a lamppost with cable ties, you will be fined and ordered to remove your materials at your own expense within a fixed time period, failure to do so will result in a larger fine.

The scale of the fines is akin to those issued to graffiti/taggers who are both fined and ordered to clean up the mess they made themselves and at their own expense. Usually hiring a power washer to remove their tags (if they don't know/can't use one, a worker for the city will do it for you but you'll have to pay his fees as well). They'll also likely be given social community service of X number of hours, unpaid. Under age taggers will see their parents take the hit for their misdemeanors. In this light, responsibility goes back to the family unit. If your kids are little bastards, it's your own fault, deal with it.

These rules keep the city clean and fresh. Finland is a very thorough country when it comes to these things. Pro-actively too: the return/deposit scheme has been in effect here since the year dot. You rarely see discarded tins or bottles in public places. Kids or needy people grab them and get the deposit. If you're caught dumping you get fined a fixed penalty. This includes your picnic basket containers and wrappers.

These laws apply to all people equally, especially including political candidates - they have an onus to set a good example.

One time several years back, a local Green party candidate stuck an A3 sized paper flyer with her name, party, picture, and election number on the outer wall of the local supermarket shopping centre. I took a photo of it and posted it to one popular community site, pointing out that the green party member had stuck it to the wall using about two feet of duct-tape. Seriously. I made the point that a green party member being so fucking thick about the environment was hardly to their credit.

The community agreed.

By and large, people were both amused and angry at her explanation when she found out about it.

'I'm a mother of three kids, my husband works abroad and blah, blah, blah..'

So I engaged with her pointing out that not only were her three kids being set a lousy example, that if she was already overburdened with domestic affairs, then she was hardly a good candidate. The community agreed. She then said that she didn't have any regular sellotape or paste handy at the time. I made the point that she shouldn't have hung the flyer there in the first place - the law forbids it. The community agreed. She said she was very sorry things had gone this way and that it would never happen again. Both I and the community agreed.

She went out the same day and took her flyer(s) down.

On election day, she flopped: nobody in the community forgot her name or her bullshit.

Her election/advertising fees were left fully in her name to pay up afterwards.

Even little things like this make a huge difference on the national scale: it keeps the political class on their toes.

Like the state media minister who did a live TV interview in her lounge at home, a massive screen on the wall behind her. One intrepid journalist decided to check her television license fees and saw that she had none. Ever. So when she was busted they made her pay a large fine for all the missed years without a license stretching back to the age when she left the family home. Her party booted her out too, and when you're resigned, you may not enter politics again. You'll instead be reminded of your previous errors and told to fuck off.

Or you could do things the Irish way, right?

 

[Mowl]

The new cross-town tram line is due to open shortly between Pasila and Kalasatama. As part of the design, every bus and tram stop and shelter will have a greenery box up on top to boost pollination and give the bees some extra options. It's a great idea, I think.





We also have a new fleet of ultra-modern trams which will be utilized on the new line, they're currently being used to train in new staff.

The very old trams are tough to maintain, but we still have a few dozen of them, all in good working order.

The Beer Tram is doing a roaring trade this year with the early heatwaves bringing more people out to party.



I've tried imagining a beer tram in Dublin, how about you?

Can you imagine how Paddy and Bridie would react?

 

[Mowl]

Two views of the Sibelius monument in Helsinki:



As seen from twenty meters away.

And here, from beneath:



I have hours and hours of old 8mm films I shot during a variety of seasons I spent here in the 1990s. I rode the trams around the city and kept my camera ready for every passing sight which I'd film and then later edit and transfer to regular VHS video with some nice over-dubbed music for my Mam to listen to while she watched her son laugh at the minus forty weather while playing the tubes of the monument with a pair of drumsticks from underneath, trying to recreate the Finnish national anthem.

I shot some footage of the retired ladies and gents who attend a very old public sauna on a small island just offshore at Kaivopuisto during the depths of winter. There's a wooden bridge across to the island but I didn't use it. Instead I walked out onto the frozen bay and shot the shoreline and architecture from half a kilometer out to sea. When I made my way back to land, I passed the island with the sauna and the ice-hole cut into rock-solid ice floes with a ladder attached which is used by the oldies: they take sauna first, then walk out of the steam and along the bridge and then take the ladder down into the ice-hole and do a few laps.

I shot the film for her to see because she has arthritis, just like the oldies on film. Her reaction to watching them take the ladder down into the minus forty degree water was a gas. She watched wide-eyed as they walked along the bridge, all bent over and wrinkly and slow. Then they hop into the hole, do a few quick laps (an ice hole is usually around four/five sq meters) and climb back out again on the ladder and take their towel to make their way back to the sauna. Except now they weren't all bent over and gnarly. They were light on their feet, full of laughter, and helping each other along the way. From 95 degrees plus in the sauna to minus forty in the water, the shift is quite something. But the results speak for themselves.



There's a reason why Finland's the world's happiest country.

 

[David]

Is Finland as sports-obsessed as countries such as Ireland, England and America? In Ireland if you're not into GAA, soccer and rugby you're seen as some kind of social pariah. Same thing if you quit drinking and don't go to the pub.

One thing I like about the Japanese is that they don't treat sports as if it were some religion...or the be-all and end-all of one's existence. You can be a grown man and enjoy video games etc. In most Western countries you're seen as some kind of pussy if you don't follow xyz sports club with an almost religious fanaticism.

 

[Mowl]

Is Finland as sports-obsessed as countries such as Ireland, England and America? In Ireland if you're not into GAA, soccer and rugby you're seen as some kind of social pariah.

Not really, but then again nature of Finnish 'sports' are viewed kind of differently: ice hockey is very big, but only in winter (obviously) and as you know, there are many world class Finnish rally drivers. This is borne out of the condition of roads way up north into the wilds. Dirt tracks mostly, but they use them every day for business etc. Then they drive out for supper, have some drinks, then rally the car home again along the dirt tracks.

In short, staying active matters, and if fast cars are your thing in Finland, then so long as you're off the main roads you won't meet too many people, let alone coppers. Finnish 'fun' sports include the wife-carrying competition, the world air guitar championships, the world sauna championship (lots of dead Russians thinking they 'hard') the mobile phone throwing competition, mud soccer (about half to three quarters of a meter deep - men's teams and women's teams) the wood chopping championships, and loads of other eccentric sports they invented - because they had to.

Like playing The Mowl in Dublin: the game is borne of necessity. DCC gave us nothing but brick houses and we had to campaign hard to keep the green of Markievicz Park for cricket and football. So back then we invented games based on what we had to hand.



Classic old photo taken in the Liberties way back in time.

Being surrounded by the massive industrial estates that almost entirely surround Dublin 10, stealing crisps and peanuts from the King's Crisps factory was a handy earner for me. I considered it a tax for all the foul air that emanated from their factories. I stole them, then stored them, then sold them in the yard at half price. I needed sticks, heads, bits and pieces and the money had to be got from somewhere.

I was never caught either - I always had a plan.

Same thing if you quit drinking and don't go to the pub.

The Asian couple who just took over the pub here on my block threw a big fuck-off barbecue out on the square for all the tenants to enjoy the food, music, drinks, and sunshine. I don't use the pub myself, far too close to home and I know everyone and they know me. So no thanks, I enjoy my privacy.

That said, pubs aren't high on my agenda either and unless there's a jazz quartet or something DJ going, then I wouldn't be bothered. In the Nordic tradition, meeting up at a friend's place before going out is a massive money saver: have your major drinks at home, take a small one in your pocket and when you get to the club/venue, and you only need one or two drinks to pass the time without breaking the bank.

One thing I like about the Japanese is that they don't treat sports as if it were some religion...or the be-all and end-all of one's existence.

Japanese television shows are mental: like the games without frontiers period.

You can be a grown man and enjoy video games etc. In most Western countries you're seen as some kind of pussy if you don't follow xyz sports club with an almost religious fanaticism.

I'm watching the games on telly the last few days - we get two live games a night (no pay per view) and at least two more highlights.

Japanese people find humiliation funny, and I asked Yoko about that. She said that the childish games we see adults playing on TV are supposed to be motivational rather than embarrassing, but like the Finns, the Japanese have a very dark sense of humour and will lampoon themselves before you do.

But of all the games - I still love the idea of playing the Mowl.

Nobody does it anymore but if went into a pub in Ballyer and said the word allowed, then the craic begins immediately.

They'll also mention my real name.

 

[Mowl]

Nice photo of Kalasatama looking north in the new Redi hub in Helsinki. The towers were built in the last five years, I know because my view changed as they grew taller and taller. They all house businesses on the lower floors: supermarkets, fashion outlets, specialist shops, national brands, etc and the middle floors house offices above them. The upper floors are apartments, mostly private investments. It's a new part of the city which (like my own area) was recovered from the sea some two decades plus ago. The plan is lots of new housing and a new commercial centre for shopping, partying, etc.



It takes the pressure off the city centre area around Central Station. Looks fabulous at night too. I'm currently considering an apartment swap-out with the housing authority. My current place would ideally suit a young couple with a child, the rent reflects the size of my place and it seems a shame to have so much unnecessary space going unused. But I am very happy here and so I'm not sure about it until I see what they have to offer me. Kalasatama is the site of the old fishing harbour. The build is very nice, they shaped some of the buildings on opposite sides of the housing blocks to look like the front and rear of a ship. From the north looking south it's about two kilometers away, you can see what appears to be a large old-fashioned sailing ship. The sailing theme continues all over the area and it's all brand spanking new.

The shapely bridge you see is the link to Helsinki Zoo, an island unto itself.
The other bridge is the metro line heading east to Vuosaari and Itäkeskus - the Ballyfermot of Finland.
I don't visit zoos on principle, though I'll have to take a look if I decide to move.
Big changes all over Helsinki city, with lots of options opening up for a change of address.
I've been in this apartment since 2007, so a change of scenery might also be nice.

 

[Mowl]

Jaze, I must pay more attention to things. I haven't even bothered to look up the previous year, never mind this one. Much as it'll grate on you to know it, Finland was again voted 'World's Happiest Country' for the seventh time in a row - that's from 2017 right through to today. I was still trying and succeeding to wind you sad bastards up about us winning it five times, but it seems I was so happy I missed two more years of the same.

Happiness among the EU member states really ought to be rationed. Ex-Prime Minister Sanna Marin promised to tell the OECD people not to award Finland with the honour again, but it seems she may have lost her phone while out clubbing with her girls and drinking more champagne than she ought to. So just for the craic, here's a picture of Sanna heading out to party:



Seven years. It's a long time. You'd think standards might either slide a little or improve a little, but no: of all the countries in the OECD lists, we're consistently awarded the first prize. There are of course many reasons for this, but suffice it to say that when the Mowl arrived into Helsinki into the waiting arms of my then beautiful lady friend, I brought with me many things that the Finns of today think wonderful. Like inclusivity, one of my better traits. It's not difficult, all you need to do is be nice to people. Greet them warmly. Ask how their day is going. Hold that door open, there's a little old Lady behind you. And don't fuck them unless they ask you to, instead - make love with them. They like that much better. The fucking can happen later, rest assured. Also, dressing in a clean and ironed white shirt over pressed black slacks and a clean-shaven face with fixed and waxed hair is what you wear for your office job, plonker. Be a fucking man. Stand like one. Don't give any fucks like one. Dress like one. You don't have to buy her a drink to talk to her, and you don't have to excuse yourself about it either. They don't mince their words so quit mincing your own. You can wear sneakers and shorts in any club if that's your thing, just don't show up looking like you're there to ask legal questions or to present menus.

Ireland's best effort was seventeenth place, and that was a good few years back during the Celtic Mutt days. At the moment you sad twats are rock-bottoming out like you have done since forever. You live in the most expensive country in the entire EU zone, and look at the fucking state of the place? You have your masses of homeless people, of homeless and hungry children, bums and junkies galore, Roma people hanging around and stinking the place out. The Irish walking dead along O'Connell Street is NOT a good look for visitors, you dopey fucks. You've gone and let the migrants take over, haven't you? You watched them walk in, demand all manner of shit, get it, throw it back, ask again, receive it again, and fuck it up again. It's nobodies fault only your own - you let this happen on your watch and believe me when I tell you: your kids aren't just going to hate you for it, they're going to vote for freedom of euthanasia, and guess who the first up against the wall is?

That's right, suckers: you and yours, and by the time the next two or three generations have a look at what you lot did, burying your bodies after a nice singsong and funeral mass in wooden coffins isn't going to be allowed. They're going to vote to burn you and have your ashes added to the cement mix for whatever they decide to build to replace your main street syringe/needle. Your generation are by far the worst Ireland has ever seen. Your ancestors weathered all manner of dodgy situations and they came out on top. What has yours done? Whine on chat boards about the 'good ol' days' and cry into your tins of cheap imported Dutch and German lager and pils while snorting up 6% cocaine cut with 94% rat poison. You fucking deserve to be euthanized, you lazy, useless, uneducated, unworthy, fucking scum. You were handed a country with massive potential, an island nation who could have had it all: a place for yourselves alone in an ocean of unlimited opportunity and total autonomy. But what did you do with it? You let scum like Charlie and Bertie set you up and then take the legs out from under you. You watched as all that lovely money fell from the sky and like kids in a candy-shop, your eyes were bigger than your belly. Now you're all looking for someone - anyone - to blame.

Lads, you are where you are because you all partied, and don't be trying to deny it either. I watched complete fucking knackers walk in to five star restaurants and swallow their meals whole, shoveling the foie gras down your necks like it was a bag of chips. Driving cars you could never afford, borrowing, spending, three meals out a week, two summer and three winter holidays. Silk suits and handmade shoes. Kids with state of the art telephony. You even had all these beautiful eastern European ladies serve you your coffee, lunch, dinner, taking your cash at the tills, cleaning up after your company bash. Now your kids work for them, scrubbing their floors, serving their foods to their own people over to visit from Poland and Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. And your kids are wondering why they can only make it a few rungs up the ladder from abject poverty to assistant manager without ever getting to run or direct anything. They're fucked. They know it. They're eyeballing you lot - especially you lads and lassies who love to gossip on the political discussion boards laugh-ins for Mowl to giggle at. Your debt stands at €234Bn and counting and you have a gross population of 5.2Mn people, of which around 48% are either kids or pensioners. Think about that. Then think about why your government can't open the doors wide enough to the homeless of the world. It used to be:

'If you're Irish, come into the parlour...'

Except now it's:

'Oh, landlord how could you treat me so cold, you've got a mortgage on my body and the key to my soul...'

You stupid, stupid cunts.

Last night I went downtown and as a result of a confluence of seemingly unrelated phenomena, I didn't get home until dawn and didn't once put my hand in my pocket. Drinks, food, taxis, the works. I met a few people I hadn't seen in a while and we crashed two parties in downtown venues and then another house party after that. Lovely weed, there were other things on offer but I don't use them. In fact, here's a little story about a moment I had in the studio with the guys:

I said that I have never tried heroin, meth, crack, or any other super-strong drug and would like to try a few of them even once before I die. You know what my mates said to me? 'Yes, I can get that for you - but I won't'. I asked why not: 'because you're too special to us, we aren't going to let you do that even under our supervision. So no, not now and not ever'. I replied that if they wouldn't get it for me, then I could go to the streets for it. They replied: 'stop kidding yourself, you wouldn't know who to ask or where they are, and chances are they'd probably think you're a risk because you're foreign and alone'.

That was the end of that.

No fucking wonder we're so happy.

Now look at yourselves?

You stupid fucking cunts, you're all dragging each other down, day after day, the incessant whining and griping never fucking ends.

You have no one else to blame but yourselves, you twats.

The best part?

The worst of it is yet to come for you dopes, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Not even being an island you could build walls and fences around is gonna save you.

Because you're fucked up from the inside out - not the other way around, you fucking losers.

Even Stig's laughing at you:

 

[Mowl]

Further to my consideration of moving to a smaller apartment, I spotted this one in the recent listings and it's available immediately. So I have to decide quickly to get a place on the list of interested tenants. It's a refurbished old block that's been thoroughly renovated and brought up to scale and the extras that come with it are the same as I get here, ie: free laundry and drying, sauna, garbage disposal, a parking space (I can gift/lease it to another tenant) bicycle lock-up and winter gear lock-up, two storage spaces (one heated, the other cold) and lots more lovely stuff. One bedroom, two balconies, fully fitted kitchen with dishwasher, own laundry machines can be fitted to the bathroom, thirty-eight square meters (this one is 50sqM - so 20% less space) and the only thing I'm not liking about it is the lack of windows as large and south-facing as mine. I have a big sky view here that's just magnificent: the birds in chorus all day, swooping and diving on the air currents of the courtyards in the evening, and I can see Kalasatama and the new Redi neighbourhood clearly on a good day. At night it's even more spectacular.

The rental is for the new apartment €570 per month and the deposit I have on this place can be transferred instantly.

Lovely area with all services to hand, nearby the forests and parks, and a short hop to city centre via multiple transport options. Brand new interior, first letting, minimum contract is one year and maximum not defined, so the option to stay for a few years is wide open. I was reading this morning that there are currently forty-odd available rentals in Dublin with long lists of potential tenants who likely won't even see the place before deciding to rent it, and if they do then the rent's going to fucking cripple them. But that's Ireland for you.

This is Finland - and this is how we do things:

Cover pic:


Plan:













Thoughts?

 

[Mowl]

Helsinki €570 per month: 38SqM, all new including one bedroom, sauna, storage, balconies, fully fitted kitchen, wooden floors, secure lock-ups, etc, etc.



Dublin €750 per month: 9SqM, single room, used bed, used table, used chair, one window, one door, own rope and roof to hang yourself from.

'Notable increase' in the proportion of students paying more than €750 a month in rent - report

The University College Dublin Students’ Union has called on the Government to carry out their “duty of care” to students.

www.thejournal.ie

Man, it must be shit having no options at all in life.

Up here I can get what ever I want, wherever I want it, at half the price and ten times the quality. You suckers really are a fucking hoot. Whenever I think it couldn't possibly get any worse for ye, you all show me just how much worse it can get within moments. Life must be a fucking misery between the expense, the shit quality, the miserable fucking weather, the endless rain, the junkies, the homeless, the whole fucking shebang.

It's so much nicer up here in the world's happiest country (seven years, Jimmy - seven).

The chicks are hotter and far prettier, the sun's blazing down, I have a choice so far of around six addresses I may/may not move into depending on location and the layout of the space. They're all well within my budget and five out of six haven't even been lived in yet. They're all city owned apartment blocks that have been renovated from top to bottom. The quality you can see for yourself.

Compare that to the shit you have to deal with?

Pahahahaaaaaaaaa - no wonder I'm so happy, no wonder we're all so happy!

Got your slab in for tonight's aggro, Shay?

Lump of soap bar?

Skins?

Frozen pizzas?

Good man.

 

[Mowl]

I've seen some really amazing mökki belonging to wealthy Finnish people who want designs that are truly sunk into the environment they're built in. One place was really amazing: they dynamited into some rock cliff face overlooking a lake and built a three storey house into it with its own power generators sunk into the earth nearby to reduce noise etc. The kitchen balcony overlooked the lake which was surrounded in thick and very old forest. The interior is super modern and self sufficient recycling its own water and any combustibles used domestically to reduce its carbon footprint.

They had an old wooden sauna from up north taken apart and brought to the site and rebuilt offside the main house. A lot of the wood used in the building of the house was also recycled from old mökkit built of massive logs from the local forests. They also bought an old and condemned church site and recycled everything from that to build the roof and body of the structure. The finish of the interior was truly gob-smacking, and the exterior even better.

This sort of thing:



Except even more discreet. If you didn't already know it was there then you wouldn't even notice it.

I also attended a wedding on an island in a lake up north called Pielavesi. Again, the family who built it bought an old church, stripped and numbered everything and shipped it down to the island where it was carried to the island piece by piece and rebuilt for living purposes. That one has no electricity supply (though you can bring a generator) and no running water, so everything's done according to tradition: hunting, fishing, smoking, barbecuing, and keeping things cold by using net bags sunk into the lake on long poles for easy access.

The best one though, is the lake that has an island in the middle of it, and that island has a lake of its own too.

Ahh, if only I had a camera with me.

Some of the buildings in images above are based on old Finnish traditions including the preservation of foods which are kept in small mökkit set atop long poles which are tough and strong and sunk deep into the ground. A rope ladder is used so that bigger creatures like bears and moose can't get to it. It can also be used as a hideout if the area has a herd of moose wandering around and loping into anything that gets in their way.

Like the historic island of Seurasaari:



This tiny island is actually within the city limits and is serviced by multiple buses and trams. Free entry via a gate and long wooden walking bridge, no private vehicles allowed, you visit on foot or by bicycle. As you can see, the tiny mökki is a larder. It's so deep into the rock that not even a bear can knock it over. Use a rope ladder to climb up and now you're as safe as can be from any attack.

Here's a wiki link if you're interested: https://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seurasaari

 

[Mowl]

I consider that really good news: declining numbers of visitors means less money coming in. I know of nobody over the age of fifteen who visits any zoo in Finland. The island zoo of Korkeasaari is a place I've walked the edges of but never entered the gate to pay a toll to get inside to see so many miserably sad animals at their most vulnerable. Zoos are an outdated social habit and ought to be banned, along with animal fighting in general.

The site of the zoo is rather spectacular, but it's only the island I'm interested in, not the zoo in or of itself.



It's about a ten minute cycle from here to the walkway onto the island, but you can also arrive by public transport sea-boat which costs the same as any other ticket but features a lovely old boat with a fitted bar selling alcoholic drinks to tourists. I've never taken the boat as it would depress me even further to meet drunk people on their way to gawp at animals behind bars. The walkway is free, historic, offers amazing views of the sea port which houses many wooden ships being preserved as museum pieces. Tall ships, sailing ships, huge rowing boats, etc. No yachts, speed boats, or motor boats. The island is within city centre limits and it's mainly used (as far as I can see) for school trips and weekends visits for families with young kids.

As a child my parents took us to the zoo lots of times, but never after age 12 (my Old Man's rule) and only for educational purposes. The rest of the time he'd sit me down to watch David Attenborough's BBC series of documentaries with him and he'd tell me all sorts of interesting things about wild animals. We'd watch The World At War together too, and again he'd explain things to me as to why their were all these piles of bones and skulls all over eastern Europe. One learns a lot more a lot faster when it's your experienced elders you're listening to.

Zoos are not healthy places, not informative places, and certainly not places of entertainment for any responsible person.

Finland's best zoos are actually our own landscape: head up into the wilds if you want to see animals in action. Stray off the pathway in deep drifts of snow and get lost in their territory: now you'll see real wild animals do what they do best, survive - by any means necessary. Instead of throwing peanuts at monkeys, you'll be trying but failing to scarper from a hungry bear or wolf, both of which can make better ground than you can so no matter how fast you run, you're dead fucking meat anyway. Good enough for you too: animals are not our personal possessions. We have dominion over them in captivity, but not in the wilds. That's their territory, it belongs to nobody else.

Dogs and cats in the home are treated far better than any wild animal in a cage. They get a name, a place in the pecking order, food and drink, a warm bed, love and comfort, attention, daily walks, petting, training, etc. No matter how cute a name you give a panda in a cage, it's still a wild animal. Yeah, they look all soft and fluffy, but as an almost extinct animal of the wilds, we ought to protect them, not put them on display and gawk at them.

 

[Mowl]

Finland’s prime minister Sanna Marin files for divorce

Marin filed jointly with her husband of three years, Markus Raikkonen, they announced on Instagram

www.theguardian.com

Sanna Marin, the world's youngest ever prime minister, has - along with her husband of three years Markus Raikkonen - filed for divorce last Monday. The couple remain very close and their daughter's welfare is their prime concern. Marin famously, deftly, and carefully circumnavigated the period of Covid19 while the national and international media remained focused on her age, appearance, style of dress, and personal life. The infamous leaked video of her partying with her friends at her private residence went viral across the globe and in doing so, divided opinion on her actions with the majority of females standing by her and condemning the red top media for harassing her. Marin remained calm, aloof, and composed. She answered every question put to her consistently and thoroughly, putting the Finnish rags to shame after the tried to lionize her for going out with her friends at all. Marin continues to make front page headlines in the Finnish red tops on a daily basis, they can't seem to let go of her, but then again they can spot a quality cash cow when they see one.



Marin and Raikkonen met at a young age and began their relationship twenty years ago, choosing to marry after their daughter was born. They entered their teens together, then adulthood, and eventually public life when Sanna was voted in as the centre-left's coalition head of operations. Her timing was crucial, the Covid19 lock-down hit Finland pretty hard at first. Finland is a huge country with the majority of her 5.6m population living in the southern regions. Those further up north also suffered during the early stages of the lock-down, but in time all corners of the Finnish countryside were catered for and we weathered the lock-down in our own rather Finnish way. The Finns aren't exactly your most party-hardy population and the older traditions of an isolated life deep in the countryside from just two or three generations back stood to us when the virus shut (most of) the planet down. So it wasn't that big a deal for us: we're used to being alone, we don't generally deal in small talk, and we don't give a shit what anyone thinks about it. Life went on pretty much as normal for the majority of the population.

Marin's future plans remain in the spotlight, but the worst that could happen is that the red tops might continue to pursue her.

She makes for good copy.

Plus she's hot:



Meanwhile, over in Dublin..



That's Sister Mrs Norma Foley, minister for education and global heavy-weight master of the classic bowl-cut/fringe-drop/post-A Flock Of Seagulls/mutant/freak/weirdo hairstyle from the future. The mental head on her makes me think that nobody in Leinster House even talks to her, let alone the possibility that she has or might have some personal friends who equally won't do her the favour of telling her that she really needs to do something about those chiffon and silk blouses with the big bows around the neck, and the below-the-knee skirts from 1973 are a big no-no.

Of course we have more than a few more munters wandering the halls of the Dail these days. Gone are the charming and fancy days of Joan Burton screeching and howling with her nasal whine, or Fats Harney being given the brief of munter for chocolate cakes minister for health. Or yer wan who died last week? The granny of the nation? Mary O'Rourke? Hot sauce, me hearties - real hot sauce alright. Of course we can't overlook the munter minister for horse-facing, Ms Claire Daly. That woman has a face longer than a rainy Sunday afternoon in January.

Or even better: your minister for justice: yeps, it's little Mrs black holes for eyes, Helen McEntee - the delightful young daughter of some culchie politician who necked out so she took up his mantle, and the sheep of Ireland voted her in straight away. Proper order, right? Except for the fact that that woman is dead inside. Looking at her when she speaks reminds me of Quint's soliloquy in the belly of Orca about the delivery of the Hiroshima atom bomb. She's the shark, and she doesn't seem to be living, until she bites you:



Which she did only last week with her late-night creeping around Leinster House, rousing the sleeping culchies to vote her Hate Speech Laws into legislation. I mean, it's not like she was hiding it from ye, now is it? None of you want it, but she does, and she got her way. Which means you gotta swallow the Kool Aid too, you spineless lazy fuckers. McEntee is Irish politics/people 1:01. And if you couldn't spot that much about her, then you fucking deserve everything you get.

Meanwhile, Sanna's still awesome, and currently available on the late champagne supper scene, which means I have immediate access. Finland remains the world's happiest country according to the OECD, and here I am - smack dab in the middle. But thankfully this year we likely won't receive the award, mostly because we don't want the attention that comes with it, and we're bored with it, but also because Peteri Orpo is a cunt: an enormous foul cunt hated all across Finland by every class of Finn we have. Me included. But still, even if we only come in in second place, it means that you too still have a chance to grab the trophy. Y'all seem to think I'm a cunt and Finland's shit - so let's see what you've got? Reckon you might make the Top Ten? Okay, silly, I know. How about Top Fifty? I mean, you have all these foreign and muscular young men of fighting age living in your ear, sleeping along your canals, their wives and children long since fucked away, just like their IDs. Surely you can put them to some use while they're waiting for their free council house/flat/modular home and maximum welfare allowances? Simple jobs, like learning about cleaning up after themselves? Like learning how to use a western world toilet pot? How to make a cup of tea and a sandwich for themselves instead of relying on their wives and mothers to do it for them?

You're up to your fucking necks in them - so what's the fucking story, lads?

Still planning on getting through the week picking Jambo's posts apart and ignoring the elephant in the corner over there?

Still entertaining (and loving) the dopiest cunt ever on any Irish board - Clark/Crumbly?

Still sitting on your holes waiting for someone else to start the ball rolling?

You deserve everything you get, you sad bastards.

Suck it up.

 

[David]

Do any of the Nordic countries have a scumbag problem on par with Ireland? Even the smallest village in this country has scumbags galore unfortunately - some varieties more dangerous than others.

---

 

[Mowl]

Do any of the Nordic countries have a scumbag problem on par with Ireland?

Well, there are a few neighbourhoods that are considered badlands areas associated with drinking and doping. But in terms of mindless vandalism, no. Not at all. Tagging, graffiti, and other public arena artworks have designated areas for writers/taggers to create large scale pieces of graffiti art and not only is it legal and licensed for by the council, there are also incentives like reduced prices on spray cans for registered artists who get to choose a wall and have their work displayed for a period of time.

Boozing in public isn't allowed, but it's generally overlooked so long as you're not disturbing anyone or causing any public affray. Also, because of the return/deposit system we've had since forever, there's always someone who's going to collect your cans and bottles for the refund.

Vandalism, in the Irish sense, is extremely rare. Smashing up your own hood and its various public facilities (or someone else's) will result in someone ratting you out. Finns will not sit by and watch their neighbours destroy or damage the community. It's all of our taxes after all that pay for public services. If kids smash things up, the parents get the bill. Last week one fraught Mother was on social media warning the neighbours about a gang of four or five kids who frightened her son on his way back from school. The entire community was alerted and finally one person phoned in the names and addresses. They didn't hit him or rob him, just intimidated him enough to reduce him/her to tears; the parents were both angry and concerned for other kids to whom the same might happen. So now it's in the hands of social services and the local police.

Burglary? Extremely rare in the apartment blocks. Out in the sticks? Even less so, everyone knows everyone, and unlike say in Monaghan, Ireland - where thieves like Saul and his 42yr old son who rob the pensioners in their beds reside - the whole community will come together for the sake of the victim, and to make sure the fucker who robbed them goes down, publicly and with lots of local fanfare. Nobody stands by while any individual or group to decide to go on a mindless rampage.

Stolen cars? Again, extremely rare. You can buy a second hand beat-up junkster and use any of the driving/rallying/stunt parks for free. There are dozens of rally parks exclusive to drivers, not pedestrians. It's also very popular with the adults, not just the kids.

Shops and stores all use both camera and security staff. Every shopping centre has security present and known thieves and other shyters will be tailed from the moment they enter. All stores are alerted by security and the thief usually gets caught and busted, the cops will take them away.

Drunkenness on the streets is tolerated at night, but not all night either, mind you. There's always a strong cop presence around the city on the weekends, in marked/unmarked cars, marked vans, meat wagons, motor and pushbikes, and even horses during the tourist seasons. Drugs will be taken off the streets along with their users. If you want to have a smoke, then do so without making a meal of it, they'll likely give you a stern nod and walk on. Discretion is the better part of valor: show them some respect and assurance and they'll leave you be.

But there are of course exceptions. Rednecks coming to town usually end up in the tank if they can't comport themselves, as physical violence will be attended to immediately and with prejudice. Messing around on the buses gets you booted off. Same with trams, metros, trains, and taxis. Racist attacks will be attended to equally as it would between any two Finns. Pick-pocketing? Nah, never hear much about it. Intimidation and threats will likely be phoned in immediately by any bystander. Sexual crimes like rape, etc? Again, extremely rare: but there are place/clubs/late nite scenes that are notorious for rohypnol-type assaults. I've called that one in myself and had one little scumbag reefed for mixing drugs sourced off the Dark Web for making rohypnol-type liquids for junkies coming down on heroin, he was cooking it up in his bathtub. But it also works on witless ladies who don't cover their drinks. Very dangerous, not even the bouncers can estimate whether a young lady being carried out the door is genuinely drunk or doped by a stranger, but they will stop you and ask for your ID. Refuse to show it and the cops will arrive.

Mindless destruction of the sort I used to see in Ballyer, Clondalkin, Tallaght, and various other housing estates simply doesn't happen up here. Every bus stop has a digital display telling you everything you need to know including your connections to other public transport options. Smashing it up for the sake of vandalism just doesn't happen, but in Ireland, and Dublin especially? They smash it up because they can, no other logic to it.

Kids wandering home from school with a smartphone in hand. These are young kids, the parents are trying to teach them about independence by letting them walk alone or take public transport (free for the wee ones) back home after the school day is done. Try interfering with a kid in that situation and you WILL pay a hefty price as well as likely serving time. The family unit is sacred to the Finnish culture and lifestyle. Messing around with someone's child will also see you getting some what-for of your own when you get sent down and your record/credit rating marked permanently: this way landlords, banks, credit unions, and potential employers can all see your record by request, just like your banking details. Keep fucking up, your credit rating continues to drop. Even the welfare system will penalize habitual criminals, so you might also end up on the streets. Which is fine in summer, but homelessness in winter has only one result. Mostly, they end up in either the tank or else a state hostel (in at 2200 and booted out again at 0600). Try that lifestyle for a few days and watch your whole world fall completely and irrevocably into sand and slip through your fingers. It's very hard to get back up if you fall, even your own family/community will likely shun you.

But apart from all that, it's very safe, very clean, extremely efficient, everything works, everything's on time, not even a meter deep of snow in a few hours stops or delays routines. Young ladies can wander about freely, even in the parks in the city centre. Kids too, though not too late, lest a cop ask why there's a seven-year old in the city at eleven at night with school the next day. So people always try to do the right thing, and those who can't for whatever reasons, will likely be asked if they need help by an alert copper or security guard.

It's nothing like Dublin, not even remotely.

And even less like Ireland, thank fuck.

Even the smallest village in this country has scumbags galore unfortunately - some varieties more dangerous than others.

---

I've never had any problems with the rural or traveling community. If I happen to meet a traveler, I can tell them about my own family helping out the families living at the Labre Park halting site just outside Ballyer. They've always been great to me whenever I worked for them. They didn't just pay me the agreed fee, but they often threw in some hash, weed, and maybe a bottle of something to drink on the way home. Never a bother with them. But then again, I'm dealing with all sorts of people when in work mode and I have to speak the language of each one to both get and keep the work.

That's the nature of business diplomacy and knowing how to charm your clients. It's one thing to rent out a skill and nothing else. But I turn a fee-paying work gig into a performance piece that includes everyone present, especially the kids. They get that part for free, and they love it: but that's not why I do it that way. It's simply more efficient for me to get from A to B during the working day/night in any business premises I find myself in.

If it's a pub or restaurant, then I'm going to need access to every window/door/display area/shopfront in the place, so getting people to move out of my way is far easier when I have them in the palm of my hand.

The same applies to every other area of my working life: a positive result requires a positive input.

Doing things half-arsedly isn't going to work out - you have to make the client feel that they need you, that you're part of their team, that you can take a small instruction and act on it to create an even bigger and better end-result that they probably weren't even expecting. Charm, an ability to read the other guy's mind, some people power all helps make the day better for everyone involved, and once I'm finished, I'm gone. No hanging around, no pints thanks, I have more work to do in your other pub/restaurant/club and I DO NOT drink alcohol (or smoke weed) in any hostelry I'm hired into.

I like to travel - it's why I got into music and art: I also like/prefer to work alone. It's far more efficient, though occasionally there's so much to do I'll either hire in an artist to finish what I started (the draughting and outlining takes the most time, once it's done I can let someone else do some colour-by-numbers for a small fee).

So, I may be from Ballyfermot, but I'm also an international brand.

Getting flown in for doing artwork is even cooler/more rock'n'roll than getting flown in for music work. I get to do my own thing, by myself and for myself, I handle the clients, the work-load, and most of all: the people who eat/drink/listen/play at any of my clients workplaces. If I were your typical Ballyer skanger? Forget it already. No fucking way would I have an international client list like the ones I had. Not everyone from Ballyer is a skanger: and we're a lot more surprising and of far more substance than all that. Mostly because we started out on the bottom, not the top. It's easier to fall and lose everything than it is to begin at the bottom and work your way to the top.

So scumbags are what they are, and the rest of us try our best to offer something to the world beyond our mere presence.

Independence, initiative, ability, discipline, respect, awareness, decency and manners, all coupled with originality make the world turn happily.#

Being a dishonourable vandal bastard and violent thieving scumbag is a world away from me - and mine.

So I'm glad I'm as far away from the type you refer to as I am.

I'm a one-man ambassador of Irish culture, and I do a very good job of it.

 

[Mowl]

Here's a typical news article from a Nordic neighbour Ireland still seems to think is an eastern block country: Tallin, Estonia.




Travel between Finland and Estonia is heavy throughout the year. Partly for the cheaper shopping, but also for weekend or even mid-week overnight cruising breaks. Depart Helsinki southern dock at 1900, arrive at Tallin after a very slow sailing (during which we party like hell) and then awaken to the open port and the short walk into the Old Town of Tallin, an amazing and timeless city that truly feels like a foreign world.

Estonia is moving at a rapid pace, and it's former image of being a rather dour and grim post-Soviet capital has been updated to the city being a hot-spot for emerging IT ideas and themes, a Europe-wide attraction for long or short visits, and trade is growing rapidly. So much so that I would even predict that wonderful Estonia will surmount Finland's hold on the OECDs 'World's Happiest Country' at the next announcement of the results. Those of you who've already been there know what I'm talking about. Those who don't are in for a wonderful surprise. Estonian people are highly educated, very highly motivated, and the younger generations live in a blissful awareness of the recent dark post-Soviet past without getting bogged down by it, much as we do in Ireland with our own dark history. IT and technological exports are growing at a rapid rate, and the economy is booming - albeit far more carefully than the in the Irish model.

I was asked recently by a curious Finn what the Irish people's reaction to the recent Irish budget was, considering the fact that a huge portion of the money being flung around by FF/FG/Greens was the very recently acquired funds from the Apple tax case: €14Bn washed notes. I was asked why it wasn't set against the national debt but I had only one answer: the end result will show Ireland in an even worse mess than she's in right now, and that Irish politicians are not to be taken seriously, even if their actions cause deep and surreptitious international scrutiny. Irish political parties are essentially like childish schoolyard gangs: they have their pals and they have their enemies, though it's often hard to tell which is which at times as the game of political musical chairs tends to distract Paddy and Biddy's ability to see the wood for the trees. That €14Bn will buy the coalition lots of friends and lots of votes. But future Irish generations will be born into the same debt after the current shower are all in the ground.

Sending in the world bank accountants back more than a decade ago doesn't appear to have chastened them either: they even found ways to claim that the attentions of the European Central Bank were a boon to Ireland's financial security. And Paddy fell for it. Paddy has few pals who exist on the level he does, but given that Ireland refuses to learn from Finland, I wonder if the Irish might instead look to Estonia to see how their economy and culture has grown at the rate it has, thereby offering a far higher standard and quality of life that might well spur the Irish on to get their act together and run a mature government NOT mired in the events of the previous century in general and the current one in particular.

Paddy is very immature: he thinks that any number of mistakes, errors, fuck-ups, or blatant cons are all part and parcel of political/economic life.

They aren't.

Neither is going billions of euros over budget with a children's hospital and then allowing yourself to be held to ransom by the contractors you hired to build it for you, or splashing the cash via those Apple taxes before any inquiries from the greater EU area regarding claims on their reported entitlements to portions of same. Those two are going to bite Ireland in the bollocks. One doesn't simply get handed €14Bn and decide to toss it in the air in a free for all without there being consequences. Life's not like that. Simon Harris hasn't the maturity to see it: he's young, inexperienced, he's NOT a negotiator, he's a second rate diplomat, and the new children's hospital is very much his ball and chain.



Estonia has completed her new tram system for the capital city of Tallin both under budget and ahead of time.

Think about that.