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The crisis in Irish farming thread

roc_abilly

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I have put this in the science forum because I think modern technology yet again is at the root of this crisis, and what it does to people, to nature, to beauty, etc.

Anyway I noticed that the notorious Irish farmer, known as "Valamhic", went missing on Irish fora recently, and began having a lot more of his half crazed melt downs on those home grown broadcasts of his, around the same time as the long overdue RTE investigation "Dairy's Dirty Secret" aired, and as this new cut to the "nitrates derogation stocking rate" is being imposed (with non-compliance threatening farmers' basic payment, and payments under the areas of natural constraint, GLAS and other payment schemes).

Of course correlation is not causation, I just note the correlation, and you put that together with all of that poster's previous talk of slurry spreading and apparent relish of castrating pigs, and one might justly wonder if all these new developments have thrown him, of course his spokesperson "Geryr" on here is most welcome to come on and provide the proper explanations.

Anyway beyond the animal abuse in the industry recently exposed on the RTE programme, what we are mainly dealing with in these farms is biodiversity loss, CO2, and the massive impact of nitrogen/phosphorous fertilizer flows into natural systems.

To get the problem in perspective, consider Ireland's countryside as it is now and how it ought to look in its wild natural state. E.g.


Again, there is no "technological panacea" to things like the nitrate problem. (For example a famous illustration is how in Lake Erie from the 1960's to the present, technologists kept trying to address the "bottleneck" in nitrate build up. But then a few years later, they would find the problem just shifted downstream or upstream within a much larger system than they had originally conceived.)

While we're on the subject of this modern "progress" in agriculture let us also cast an eye to the fact that in our parents' generation they would walk around and through farmer's fields just the same as they would walk through the uplands and shores as their right, but now the alleged property rights of farmers preclude that ancient right completely.

Yes, our cities and indeed the cities of other countries are utterly dependent on this fossil fuel driven, nitrate driven, technological type of industrialised farms, we kill these farms and we kill ourselves, effectively.

But then they also are like a scourge on the natural environment, pumping CO2 into the air, pumping nitrates into the rivers, groundwater, and estuaries, turning this land into a bleak monoculture of grass fields, and uplands devastated from over-grazing.

Instead of working with nature, it bullies nature. So what do you do? Go back to organics and T.L.C. (tender loving care)? But does that have the productive capability we need to sustain our huge populations?
 
Good OP, and amusing in speculation around which itch is up Val's arse at the moment among the many as he grumbles his way around the byre.

Been saying for years that Irish farming at the less than 100 acres level is pretty screwed in the long term as EU subsidies are tailed off under pressure in GATT and World Trade Organisation talks around agriculture at a global level. At an industrial efficiency level economies of scale are bound to put in an appearance at some point soon and probably around the time small farms are finally realising that subsidies will be disappearing, making a patchwork of small farms up and down the country uneconomic.

So we'll get the infamous 'for'dn investors' with Irish lobbyists in their pocket coming in with a mad desire to buy up farmland and knock down all those annoying ditches and hedgerows preparatory to the advent of robo-farming and corporate farming which likes lots of large fields rather than thousands of small fields.

The economics of it one way or another would indicate small c*nt farmers like Val are on the way out so every cloud has a silver lining. They won't go quietly into the night without bawling for compo though.

I have a solution which that well known bollocks won't comprehend at all because it requires imagination and at least a small amount of knowledge of technology beyond the Massey-Ferguson and the intershovel.

My vision, which I picked up as a neat futuristic idea from some SF novel somewhere, is that we stop storing information in the cloud (which is hard to reach, Val, as you may be aware) and think about data storage in the DNA of plants. No more energy swallowing data storage centers with shitty C02 implications. Use the genetic composition of forests itself as a way of storing data.

That should keep the Valster busy thinking for a few days.
 
I'd be happy if we had genuine organic small farmers take over, properly educated in latest sustainable practices.

The other part of the equation though is to have cities of the size that we had before the advent of fossil fuels, like the city states of old.

There are many horrible aspects of current practice.

One of the most horrible is what we actually do with our dairy production.


Shamefully this country is number one in providing that product that's where the bulk of our milk goes, and we have one of the world's biggest factories situated here churning that shit out, peddled globally.

Well point is we need to rethink the whole organisation of it top to bottom.
 
I'd imagine Val's farm in Drumsallagh is far from self-sustainable.

I mean the crazy fucker's on youtube more often than he's swimming in the slurry and dumping buckets of piss and shit into the streams and springs. Even his cows have better teeth than Val does himself. He's a beef farmer, or so he says, but I have some stills from his videos of his actual plant growing skills.

I do NOT jest when I tell you his completed harvest of spuds numbered seventeen potatoes.

This is not a joke.

So if beef is his real game, then you can sure the likes of Larry Goodman must be a god-like figure to Val. The ultimate scamming of exported beef, particularly that load that was sent to Libya many years ago and was after examination returned to the sender - who simply sliced off the due by dates heat printed into the skins and then sent them back a second time.

As I recall, the tax payer was hit with the bills and Goodman, like Val - forgot all about it.

But sure if you find yourself dependent on Val for foodstuffs, then you better make sure your health insurance is up to date.
 
As I mentioned recently, this is Val's potato plot on the 'farm' up in Kingscourt. He sowed I've no idea how many seeds, but he reaped a final tally of seventeen smallish potatoes and three heads of radishes. He tried to grow cabbages but they wilted under the sun because he didn't bother to cover them, so he buys his cabbages at the mart and then gets his frozen fish from Aldi and Lidl.

Any man who rabbits on about farming and has a plot that looks like the above image (a still taken from one of his mad videos) has no place in farming. In reality, Val's a shite-shoveling danger to the local environment, he ought to be rolled up into a ball and fired out into the Atlantic with the National Catapult on The Cliffs Of Moher.

Naked as the day he was born.

And we all know how Val feels about nudity, eh.
 
Brilliant the National Catapult. I've been an advocate of the National Catapult for many years starting with digging up vile weirdos from the past and firing them out into the Atlantic.

Then we could start on Sean Brady and the religious orders. They'd be fine. Mr jesus would catch 'em.
 
I must say, Big Chris Big Chris nailed a whole new angle using the transcripts from Val's videos. I didn't even know about that feature until today, but I used to use the 'clip' option to take a few selected seconds (you can loop up to thirty seconds of any video) of Val doing his bizarre thing. But he clocked me and then blocked me on youtube with my Mowl account, so I can't copy clips of any more of them.

The transcripts are far better and infinitely funnier reading. I've never really seen anything like Val's written or spoken English. And I work with problem kids more often than gifted ones, though I detest the term 'problem' or 'difficult' kids. They're children, like any other, some are simple to deal with and others are more complex. That's how the fuck life's supposed to be, right?

But Val's a case apart from all of them: he has far less ability in the basics like writing and reading. Words confuse him if he hasn't come across them before so he presumes we're just making up words to snigger at him. Sometimes I am, myself - just to see if it registers with him at all, but it never does.

His current terror campaign is against some other youtube account called 'Truth-something-or-other' - I'm too lazy to bother looking, but this user called him out a week ago on a few things about Finland. Like us not actually being in the Eastern Block, as he said. Val's convinced the user has to be me and so he's playing this one cat and mouse style.

Hint: the dude on youtube ISN'T me, the Mowl.

His account is empty (I checked to see how old it was) and was opened in 2013.

Again, not the Mowl. The Mowl is barred from even seeing his shit.

But I was thinking in the sauna (naked - not a stitch on me) that the transcripts of all of Val's videos from Day One through to now, would make for excellent reading in the right circumstances. The two or three from today had me in stitches of laughter. Do yourself a favour and give one a go, you will NOT be disappointed. Years from now, advanced humans will discover the many and very eccentric doings of one Val Martin: culchie, farmer, philosopher, welder, pig castigator, and toothless old country bumpkin.

Please: Big Chris Big Chris - select on for us there, and let's get this party started.

PS: Sam Beckett, George Bernard Shaw, Jonathan Swift, and Brendan Behan will be turning in their graves after this.
PPS: The name of the other guy on youtube is TruthPlease
 
Hah! Cracked it! here's one from a video of Val's from last night where he replies to some guy about how people swimming in Long Island because of the Irish and the beaches in Oman are dumping grounds for glass refuse, smashed to pieces to stop you from swimming when you come over from Ireland, therefore Finnish people take showers in the nude.

Or more or less that, except with all of Val's signature hums, haws, ums, er, er, er, errrs and not having to watch him scratch the inside of his ear canal or roll snots up in his fingers before eating them. You don't even have to look at his big mad head. You can read his childlike and barely understandable English language skills and not have nightmares tonight.

Only the belly laughs.

Ready?

Okay, roll it there, Collette:



hi it's the 23rd of July

2023 it's dark now it's over 10 past

it's uh no it's 10 it's 10 40 so it's

dark outside now

so uh no I just want to deal with the

fact that on my video channel it is an

unusual Channel I meet people who tell

me it's quite good

and it is unusual and that's me I am

unusual I don't I don't think the same

as other people and I don't want to

think like them the way I think seems to

work very well for me and until someone

shows me a better way I'm sticking with

it I've been very effective in many

things I did

now one of the things I I saw there uh

earlier on was this post or truth please

4868

and he he had a few complaints about it

and that and one of them was that I have

failed to stop the wind turbines in in

Kingsport and Tucker

and uh therefore it's a I'm a failure

well uh that's all right but it has to

be understood it's a step-by-step

process it's uh you don't win them all

and the ones he's talking about were the

first in fact the Kingsford win firm was

one of the first to be applied for so it

took a wee bit of time and it took a bit

of time to educate the courts and judges

and to bring cases to Europe so you

don't win every single one from the word

goal I won one very good case in the

high court on my own with no liars and

the judge didn't side with me into

others in one of them on the pilots I'm

inclined to think that had the case at

2419 which says they all have to be torn

down had it been out I might have done

already I might have done better but it

wasn't out and so it takes time for

different communities throughout the EU

to take cases all the way to the

European court of justice I have been

instrumental in block and one in the

Midlands a big one my policies have

worked very well down in in in Cork and

seems to have blocked one there and we

won in the pipeline ready maybe to

attack it and we have two others uh

which are due to go to planning which

were to go to planning last uh last

September and haven't gone in yet and

the board Panola no damn well the time

on their house and we have we're all

lined up and all ready to go we're also

very lucky in that we got a liar so it's

all work in process don't don't in

progress sorry don't forget they have to

come down that's the bottom line and

that's the biggest victory of all I'm

just saying he who laughs last laughs

longest I take a truth please is all for

this young I don't know but anyway I

don't I don't mind them making a comment

because you know we need to we need to

hear both sides now the other thing is

is about Finland and back again at

Finland and unfortunately he he put a

couple in that one about about the

windmills he put uh he put

um

a number of comments and there yeah you

have to try to deal with them all and

that's not very easy hard to deal with

totally different subjects uh you know

in the one answer and it's nearly not

possible and this is what these guys do

but we look at this other one now so

this is the 13th of July I made the

video about this this finish

lady former Minister and politician who

is charged with quoting for the from the

Bible about uh the Church of finland's

policy on homosexuality okay she did it

I had nothing to do it I merely

reporting it right so what fruit please

has said is Vlad he called me blood I

told you earlier this week your

knowledge of Eastern European politics

is poor but this is ridiculous well the

first point I would say is I understand

Finland is northern northern Europe

the best of Finland is in hell is in the

Helsinki in the southern part and you

can go on Google Docs and you can see

it's a waste and not all three here and

there once you go above above hence

Helsinki just very little

and that's why Russia will never bother

Andre just totally unlike the Ukraine

the land is is Barren and useless and

draw a few trees you create a totally

different story so he says it's

ridiculous well so that's his opinion

but uh I mentioned about three dollar

free Flats well the Finland is a very

Advanced socialist type country although

that can change a bit there are funny

kind of people

uh we had Audi ran over here taxing us

and making us pay for the sins of big

bankers and all that and I wasn't too

happy with that

also I have a very good contact and I'm

very much in contact with the European

platform against wind farms in Finland

and so a huge anti-wind from movement in

Finland that don't want them up there at

all even though it's not near as

populated as as Ireland up in the

Northern parts

so he says I'll ask you again have you

ever been to Finland well the answer is

no

I've been to bet I've been Belgium

Holland France Germany United States

and oh man the Persian God

so I haven't been to Finland so what has

that to do with it I do know that they

have that gold or big into nude

showering they go into the showers nude

I think it's separate men and women all

right I don't know I think families can

win that's their business and then they

go and they jump in this Frozen sea off

they go I'm not doing it I went to see

distant relatives in Long Island in New

York and discovered they're they're

lived for swimming in the sea

I wouldn't give you two pins for all the

sea I was the inner man that was 800

miles of the hot Arabian Sea lovely big

waves just like you see in the films

with the turkeys and Earth and when I

went in for a dip to swim I was warned

that it was used as a dump it was used

for broken bottles jumping all kinds of

junk in there so why should I run along

with my American friends jumping into

sea over there uh when the people you

know man wouldn't even give you the time

of day for all the sea in the world the

same with the fins under sauna off the

go sauna if you like it's not I'm not

into it and army life I'm associated

with people when I was doing courses and

doing all kinds of things and the day to

go to the sea I was in the seat this

morning at six o'clock but my my

reaction is off you go I have never seen

one aorta of health benefit from running

on the road or from swimming in the sea

I've never seen it not one bit better

than me going around with the fishing

rod on my own shotgun or whatever

somebody wanted to do

so this idea so that unless you've been

defend in Northern Finland is what I

know about the windmills because I'm

involved with the people there and the

other thing too is I know about

political politics and this guy truth

please has not answered the basic

question is this politician charged with

criminal offenses at the court or is she

not that's the issue but he will not

answer that because he's all for this or

well baloney LBG VQ and jailing people

who are critical of that conservative

policy I was never too Biafra and yet I

used to give a penny for the for the

babies out there for years

I was never I give money to concern when

I was you that you didn't know as much I

was never to the places where they're

dealing with

the idea that you have to be to

someplace to understand it or node is is

as ridiculous as what he says being

ridiculous

it is it it does not make sense

um I haven't been to the Ukraine

and then he confuses Finland with

Eastern Europe what I have used as

products I've used a meal and and all of

that that comes from there and the

sunflower or oil and all of that and

when it's cut short if it is it looks

like it will be I feel the pinch as much

as everybody else and I have to actually

plan on my farm part because I may have

to have a different strategy for

wintering my livestock this year if meal

is going to get very expensive so I

don't say

the significance of it I believe that

Finland

is has this welcoming thing mad for

migrants to an extent I'm not too sure

that what is the cow alone place I

wouldn't be not dead I probably never

visit

why would I spend my money going to see

Finland when I can go to somewhere maybe

where there's something a lot more

interesting

they make good enough rifles I'll say

that about them

but other than that that's all I've

dealt with that as much as I can but I

still want through please to come back

is this true about this person being

charged and what is true pleases uh

opinion on that that's the issue of the

video let's see if we hear one thing on

on that okay very much thank you very

much

..
 
Val's goose-gobs. Ireland's second smelliest man Val Martin has posted another crank video about farming. He's not a farmer at all, he's a shite-shoveling shit-eating dung collector who magics things out of wet shite and then eats them. As you can see here, his filthy fat fingers and the disgusting black filth under his fingernails which he doesn't wash are being used to pick a goose-gob off the bush and eat it without washing it or himself - then tells us about how much shite he packed around the roots of the bush earlier this year.

Three fucking goosegobs?

He can line them up next to his harvest of seventeen potatoes and two heads of radish.

Rancid fucker.
 
You see, there is a theme here:

"Farmers encouraged to believe action to control climate chaos is a plot against them."​



I wouldn't be his greatest fan, but well observed by Fintan here.

Also how their beliefs have been shaped...

"... Firstly, just over half of the farmers surveyed even believed that man-made greenhouse gas emissions were contributing to global climate change and affecting weather patterns. Secondly, most farmers did not see climate change as having any short-term effect on their own lives and livelihoods.

The level of denial was astonishing: 29 per cent considered that there would be no impact at all; 28 per cent said that the effects would be felt only in 50 years’ time; and 20 per cent said they were unsure. That’s three-quarters of Irish farmers essentially unaware of the consequences of climate chaos for themselves, their livelihoods and their families.

The survey also asked the farmers whether they thought agriculture in Ireland was itself contributing to climate change. Farming accounts for 37 per cent of all greenhouse gas emissions in Ireland.

Most of those agricultural emissions are methane and nitrous oxide produced in the raising of livestock. Yet in response to a question about whether livestock production was an important source of emissions, 28 per cent of farmers said that they didn’t know and 30 per cent either disagreed or strongly disagreed that it was.

Remarkably, many farmers literally did not want to know about what climate change meant for them. Nearly 40 per cent indicated that not only had they not received any agri-environmental advice or training, but also that they were not willing to receive any in the future.

More than half of the farmers stated that they would not be willing to use a Teagasc advisory plan that would show the potential reduction in greenhouse gas emissions from the adoption of new technologies on their farm. Among cattle farmers that rose to over two-thirds.

When denial goes this deep, you can’t just blame individual farmers..."
 
We need a shite-shoveling tax.

Val would hate it and then he'd make another video of himself being a right fucking redneck culchie gobshite.
 
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