How to look good for the wife?
- Thread starter Dave F
- Start date
Mowl
Member
Try losing around twenty-two stone weight from your gut.
Then get a head transplant, you can find a decent used head from a dead culchie and you won't even notice the difference.
Then get a new wife, the one you're banging at the moment suffers from a muntering munterism of maladies and misshapen mounds about her chops.
Plus, that son of yours is a walking time-bomb of green zits and pimples, you might wanna drown him like a bag full of unwanted kittens in a river.
Also, there's something wrong with your whole head.
It's about the biggest head I've ever seen.
Yet it's empty on the inside.
Weird, that.
In fact, I really don't see much hope for any of your family - might be best to have a family suicide: all in, aces are wild, jacks are hot.
You can borrow one of Val's rifles - that way it's a 50/50 chance you'll either die or not die.
Val's guns are older than he is - and he's in treatment for rusty parts around the neck and head.
You Irish truly are one of a fucking kind.
Thank fuck Ireland's an island.
Then get a head transplant, you can find a decent used head from a dead culchie and you won't even notice the difference.
Then get a new wife, the one you're banging at the moment suffers from a muntering munterism of maladies and misshapen mounds about her chops.
Plus, that son of yours is a walking time-bomb of green zits and pimples, you might wanna drown him like a bag full of unwanted kittens in a river.
Also, there's something wrong with your whole head.
It's about the biggest head I've ever seen.
Yet it's empty on the inside.
Weird, that.
In fact, I really don't see much hope for any of your family - might be best to have a family suicide: all in, aces are wild, jacks are hot.
You can borrow one of Val's rifles - that way it's a 50/50 chance you'll either die or not die.
Val's guns are older than he is - and he's in treatment for rusty parts around the neck and head.
You Irish truly are one of a fucking kind.
Thank fuck Ireland's an island.
She's still ugly even with a paper bag over her head.
Mowl
Member
Yeah, I've seen her.
Not even a sledge hammer could improve her looks much.
Loads of other blokes feel exactly the same - in fact, she's probably with one of them right now.
And you though she was down getting you an Indian take-away.
Sucker.
Last edited:
Mowl
Member
He's too sexy for his neck.
I bet the fat cunt mouth-breathes and slavers drool all down his chops as soon as he stands up.
The sort of fat cunt who makes all sorts of weird noises when he has to move his fat arse:
'Whoa, jaze.. ...wait, now.. ..fuck, shit.. ...ahhhh, yeah - wait, wait, ahh, yeah - nearly there...'
And all he's doing is reaching for another slice of pizza.
I bet the fat cunt mouth-breathes and slavers drool all down his chops as soon as he stands up.
The sort of fat cunt who makes all sorts of weird noises when he has to move his fat arse:
'Whoa, jaze.. ...wait, now.. ..fuck, shit.. ...ahhhh, yeah - wait, wait, ahh, yeah - nearly there...'
And all he's doing is reaching for another slice of pizza.